ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Defiant Teens: The Way to Their Heart

Updated on May 26, 2010

Defiant teens are the most common problems parents have, regarding their children's behavior. Growing teens are difficult to handle, and thus it is very difficult for the parents to understand what their children need at this time- especially the parents who are limited by their own generational parameters.

This is where the miscommunication lies. It is the fact that parents and children do not understand each other because they grew up differently. A parent might say that during their time, teens were more docile. They always obeyed their parents and could never be the defiant teens that most teenagers are today.

On the other hand, because of exposure of most teens to various forms of media, they learn quickly, in the sense that they learn more options aside from what their parents give them. This is why they become defiant teens. It is a difficult situation due to the wide generation gap.

With this premise, how do parents deal with defiant teens? What parents need to do is to have what they call an open dialogue with the child. In this way, you as the parent will be able to learn as much as you can from your children and give them the opportunity to hear you out as well.

If this happens, you will become open with your child and allow yourself a glimpse of what he or she has in mind. It would also help you if you do not judge your child based on his or her actions. Try to find out why he or she is doing such. Perhaps your child seeks attention and wants to tell you something that for some reason she or he did not want to say out loud.

The dialogue will certainly help in this department. If your child remains uncooperative and still would not talk to you, it would have to be someone else to talk to him or her. The main reason why children become defiant teens is because they want to express themselves.

They want to find that outlet that can help them find who they, are as persons on their own. It is a part of asserting their independence. At this point, it would be best to just be there for your child whenever he needs you.

Do not force defiant teens to communicate with you if they do not want to. It would be best to just let them be, while you do your own thing as a parent. Maybe they are looking for some space. Give them their space, and they might become gentler. You have to try out many different options to deal with them.

Allow your defiant child to develop a sense of trust with you. If he knows that he can trust you, your child will be the one to come to you with this problem without being prompted. Having defiant teens as children may be difficult but if you give it some time, you will be able to master the art of communicating with your teenage offspring.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      7 years ago

      It does help if we treat our defiant teens like adults. Because the more that we, parents, try to control them, the more they defy us. It is easy to just lose our temper when dealing with our teens but parents should pick their own battles to avoid more conflicts and arguments with their teens. It's more ideal to be dealing with your teen's issues together, so always assure them of your support and love. Spend time with them as much as you can and listen with empathy until another level of trust is established between you as a parent and your defiant teen. Here's a checklist to help distinguish if your own teens are troubled or not -

      Great hub, thanks for the share!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)