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Defiant Teens: The Way to Their Heart

Updated on May 26, 2010

Defiant teens are the most common problems parents have, regarding their children's behavior. Growing teens are difficult to handle, and thus it is very difficult for the parents to understand what their children need at this time- especially the parents who are limited by their own generational parameters.

This is where the miscommunication lies. It is the fact that parents and children do not understand each other because they grew up differently. A parent might say that during their time, teens were more docile. They always obeyed their parents and could never be the defiant teens that most teenagers are today.

On the other hand, because of exposure of most teens to various forms of media, they learn quickly, in the sense that they learn more options aside from what their parents give them. This is why they become defiant teens. It is a difficult situation due to the wide generation gap.

With this premise, how do parents deal with defiant teens? What parents need to do is to have what they call an open dialogue with the child. In this way, you as the parent will be able to learn as much as you can from your children and give them the opportunity to hear you out as well.

If this happens, you will become open with your child and allow yourself a glimpse of what he or she has in mind. It would also help you if you do not judge your child based on his or her actions. Try to find out why he or she is doing such. Perhaps your child seeks attention and wants to tell you something that for some reason she or he did not want to say out loud.

The dialogue will certainly help in this department. If your child remains uncooperative and still would not talk to you, it would have to be someone else to talk to him or her. The main reason why children become defiant teens is because they want to express themselves.

They want to find that outlet that can help them find who they, are as persons on their own. It is a part of asserting their independence. At this point, it would be best to just be there for your child whenever he needs you.

Do not force defiant teens to communicate with you if they do not want to. It would be best to just let them be, while you do your own thing as a parent. Maybe they are looking for some space. Give them their space, and they might become gentler. You have to try out many different options to deal with them.

Allow your defiant child to develop a sense of trust with you. If he knows that he can trust you, your child will be the one to come to you with this problem without being prompted. Having defiant teens as children may be difficult but if you give it some time, you will be able to master the art of communicating with your teenage offspring.


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      sweetchar 6 years ago

      It does help if we treat our defiant teens like adults. Because the more that we, parents, try to control them, the more they defy us. It is easy to just lose our temper when dealing with our teens but parents should pick their own battles to avoid more conflicts and arguments with their teens. It's more ideal to be dealing with your teen's issues together, so always assure them of your support and love. Spend time with them as much as you can and listen with empathy until another level of trust is established between you as a parent and your defiant teen. Here's a checklist to help distinguish if your own teens are troubled or not -

      Great hub, thanks for the share!