Discipline For Children Is Your Love For Them
Don't fix it if it ain't broke
This hurts me more than it does you
I suppose spanking comes under your beatings heading, I don't think my dad ever spanked me but I knew he could and would, and I brought my two up the same way and they were angels. Just because criminals beat their child to death does not mean spanking should be outlawed, and will that stop the sick people who could do such a thing? You nor anyone else is blind, look at today's kids.
That was my reply to someone acting to be a Pro, and a man no less. Please.
OK, I forgot some men take care of the children, so I apologize, I just don't know any and never have.
Have you ever seen animals correct their young? It works doesn't it? It is instinct. A little nip, a warning growl. This alone shows how it is meant to be.
Time outs, give me a break! I've watched "The Nanny" enough to know my way was best and quicker and I didn't have to wait until they were half grown. You start teaching at birth but of course not spanking but kids know tones, which is not screaming or bringing a child to tears, they can learn right from wrong.
I hope Nanny is paid well, she deserves it. My children would have never acted like any of those kids and most of the parents are worse than the kids! That show makes me a nervous wreck, no wonder the parents are nuts. This is just passing by it occasionally. Such kids, such parents! Going out in the public anywhere also tells me I was right. Monster children and screaming mothers, or vice versa....makes a great day...
Teach them right from wrong
Back to discipline though, I took all responsibility. It is possible a time or two if one hurt the other their dad may give the guilty a smack on the butt, but we never used belts or beat our children, and they for the most part were unbelievable good. As toddlers they knew not to mess in anything left down, like at my in-laws house, they would run and put up her nice glassware the children could reach and we told them they wouldn't bother it and they didn't. Finally they saw it was true. Ours were the only grandchildren they didn't have to put a thing up from.
Their father never spanked them other than a pop on the butt that I know had no pain and they were more afraid of him. I questioned it then in my mind with my husband sometimes coming between discipline I was about to give them which was rarely a spanking unless they did something dangerous or lied on the other, and even then a point to the ping pong paddle hanging on the wall brought the truth out. When my daughter was at the point of a paddling I never saw such dancing around holding onto and hiding that butt and usually I would get so tickled I would swear her to forever obedience and let it go. It lasted a good while. Another good memory of her when they were about four and five and they walked in the living room while we sat on the couch kissing, (which we rarely did in their presence except a goodbye peck) and she said,"Oh, look brother, they are in love!" It was so sweet and so funny.Of course there went the romance for laughter.
I tried reasoning with my husband it was not right for me to do all the punishing having them grow up liking him best with him always leaving it to me. When they got older I did ask them once why that was they were more afraid of discipline from their father who never punished them than me and they said they didn't want my spankings but they figured if their dad ever decided to get them it would all be over!
Cuter than a button
Never too young
Even as newborns you can start teaching them and I don't know if I can even say how, but I would wake hearing my babies kick their feet against their mattress and go start warming their bottle while I came back and changed their diapers and always talked happy and soothing to them, feed them and go back to bed. I never had screaming crying babies. Unless they were sick of course but I pretty much kept my babies under a year or two old away from any way they might pick up a cold or diseases.
My children were never terrified of me and I gave almost all the discipline. We played every day and I rarely was away from them until they started school. Their grandparents would talk them into spending the night with them and before midnight, thankfully, we had to go get them. The grandparents finally gave up for a few years, they did grow out of it, but we were very close with our babies and we missed them as much as they did us. We waited four and five years for them, and it was probably a good thing but we were beginning to think we would have none and they both were adorable. We always tried to set good examples. (Role modeling is so important and it cleaned up their daddy's mouth very well). This is the best anyone can do. You would think they would have been spoiled but they absolutely were not. They walked early and talked early.
How kids see their parents
I don't know they really thought that to that extent but we all laughed. Mostly he had fits over his business and people who had complaints about everything and females going through the change and after getting a contract price old ladies would cry around how they didn't have much money after agreeing to the price. Once they got to this lady's house and said they had just seen her husband I think it was at a Shoney's were they stopped to have coffee and she said, "Oh no it wasn't him!" and like dummies they said well yes we spoke to him and she went into one fit and got him on the phone and they heard her saying, "I told them it wasn't you!" I think she was the same one that came running to my husband one day saying one of his worker's got paint all over one of her cabinets ,wringing her hands, so my husband went with her to see and it wasn't there, (naturally you clean up drips or smudges as you go) and she started crying and said, "They wiped it off, I saw it there!"
Then some days other things may go wrong. He painted interior and exterior and hung wallpaper and some of the women called him their interior decorator on the phone to their friends and he never liked that. I think he taught most my brothers all he knew and they worked for him then on their own, and Mom's first grandchild, my first nephew I have mentioned before, worked for him for awhile. One day my husband was cutting wallpaper and cut a tiny tip of his finger off and they were really tough from playing guitar for years so it didn't really hurt but bled really bad so he had my nephew hold the paper so he didn't get blood on it while he cut it and I think they used some type board to get a straight cut but every time he got to my nephews hand he pulled it away, and he told my nephew he had to hold it still, what was wrong? My nephew told him if he would cut his own finger off he knew he didn't give a blank about his. Just a funny memory from long ago.
Sugar and spice
Did or do you spank your children.
Why kids misbehave
So for good reason we all I think sometimes felt he was mad at us because of how his day went and being children they must have taken it much more serious than me and I kind of felt like I was to blame sometimes, too. When you hear fussing even if it's about someone else the tone feels personal. I hated when he had days like that, although we laugh about them now.
My mom spanked my little boy once when we left them with her and he kept trying to get out the gate into the road and started fighting her, kicking etc., while she was trying to prevent him from getting out. He had never acted that way before. Seems he wanted a dog or something he saw and she told me she finally had to paddle him with her hand and she really hated it and I did not care at all, his life was more important than a sting on his butt and he knew he had done wrong and deserved it. What else could she have done?
He knew he was wrong and was over it by the time I got back, I think she had tied the gate as soon as she got him settled down. She was a grandma and had never heard of time out, but I doubt it would have worked. She did the right thing and he doesn't even remember it much less hold it against her, they always loved each other, he came very often the last few years while her own children rarely if ever did and she was always glad to see him and knew him when he came to visit us, when she didn't her own sons. She always called him by a nickname we called him as a baby and he even put up with that, but she didn't know he was now trying to be away from it forever, that was funny too.
My sister-in-law was in real fear her daughter would turn her into the police if she spanked her, and she practically dared her to touch her and she could be a little terror I tell you. It is a shame today parents can't correct their own children and rarely have a say over their children at all.
They can get birth control at what age now? Probably ten. Nothing would surprise me and if they give these girls birth control is that like permission to have sex (well we know it is) encouraging them even I think, but with a boy only of what age? We need the laws passed around so we can let all the young people know. Do they also have someone at that doctors office telling them what a great chance they have for STD, (Sexually transmitted disease), I would almost promise you they don't and even if they do they still are taking the parents rights to how that is told. Or if it sounds like permission if done right. I am so glad my child rearing is over. God help all the ones now bringing up children. They give them adult rights while they are still children and no one can tell them no, no one can correct them. We have let government ruin everything in every way we turn, but they want to hold us responsible if they do any wrong.