The things I never knew about divorce is really playing mind games on me. My divorce should be one of the happiest moments for me. We both fell out of love and the abuse should have never been accepted. We were both so comfortable we just stayed together.
I stayed in my marriage out of fear and my husband stayed to keep his trophy wife. We both wanted different things and it had been five years or more since we were truly happy together. I wanted it to last forever and lived in this bubble that it would fix itself. When I walked away I gave him the home we own and everything but my clothes. I assumed it would make it easier for him and not so angry at me. It was emotional to walk away from my home and everything we had worked so many long hours for.
Our marriage was effecting everyone in a negative way but mostly the children. Watching my children be afraid of what would happen to me was so terrifying and I knew I had to do something. When he made it clear to everyone and the little secret was out so were we.
It's been almost a year since I walked out of my home. I have known my husband for twenty years and he has always been around. I'm truly loosing my best friend. Still to this day when something happens I want to call him and share those moments. I miss my husbands friendship. What people don't understand is even if a marriage has or is ending it doesn't mean good times didn't happen. I don't hate my ex and I wish him the best. I just wish I wasn't loosing my best friend and my kids still had an active Father.
I never understood leaving the wife with the kids like his job is over besides financially so I should be upset. When I drop the kids off and he calls a hour later that he has things to do leaves me confused. I don't mind them with me at all but I hate feeling like the bad guy when they miss him.
Soon to be divorced but I'm wishing for so much of an easier ending to this chapter.