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Do not spoil your children. Materials do not equal love.

Updated on December 21, 2014

Spoiling your child. A bad idea.

Please be advised that your role as a parent is not to give your child everything which somehow proves your love. Gifts and indulgences do not make up for abscent parents or prove you are a better parent than your parent was to you when you were a child. When you give gifts,keep it within a budget. Don't go broke giving your son and daughter the latest technology and material goodies that are often outrageously priced. Most of these kids are not performing well in school or otherwise yet you are teaching them just because they are inherently special, life will somehow reward them with everything. I have encountered parents going into debt and barely living while supplying their kids with every new gadget and expensive overpriced clothing. Those items do not mean love. These children often are disillusioned as adults because they feel entitled to material gain with no justification. It makes young ladies prostitute themselves for anyman that can buy them a purse or designer clothing. It makes young men willing to engage in illegal activity to obtain items risking not only their lives but their future when they obtain criminal records. It sets the expectation for a college graduate that they should suddenly be CEO because they arrived and they shouldn't have to work their way up to the top of the food chain like everyone else.

If you are unemployed or underemployed you CAN NOT spend $100+ dollars on a gadget. You do the best with what you can afford and call it a day. You are not a bad parent because you can't afford to do certain things but this also demonstrate living within your means and there is more than one source of joy and it's not material. The danger of doing so is that your kids will grow up believing materials mean love and that is not the truth about life.

Dr Phil has some parenting tips:

Parenting -Stop Spoiling Your Kids

  • Don't let your guilt get in the way of your parenting. Your job as a parent is to prepare your child to succeed in school and when they get out into the world. "Kids have to be socialized in a way that they understand you work hard for what you get." You don't want to teach your child that they will get everything through manipulation, pouting, crying, door slamming and guilt induction.

  • Make sure your children aren't defining their happiness and their status in the world as a function of what they wear or drive. Sit down with them and have a one-on-one conversation about what really defines their worth — their intelligence, their creativity, their caring, their giving, their work ethic, etc.

  • Teach him/her that striving to own nice things is fine if he/she understands how much hard work it takes to afford that, and then doesn't base his/her self-worth around what she buys.

Do you purchase gifts beyond your financial means, going in debt, for your children?

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