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Don't you know what you got?

Updated on March 22, 2016

The miracles and blessings of life

Let me just start by saying. I am not a parent, I have been struggling with infertility for over 10 years now, but I will never give up on trying. Children are blessings from above. I am the proud auntie of 3 wonderful nieces and 7 nephews who are all like my very own. I wish to share my advice and tips with anyone who is willing to listen.

Struggling with infertility

There are no words I can put together that can really explain the feeling of not being able to bring forth into this world a part of your very being. The feeling of being less of a woman is more painful than anything I have ever felt. Knowing that there isn't anything physically wrong that is stopping the process is devastating.

It's been a rocky ten years, having had a couple miscarriages, costly doctor visits and the stress upon me and huzzy was causing us to argue alot. It has been a learning experience as well as a very heartbreaking one. But I fight through each day with the higher being by my side and the faith that one day we will be blessed with our own bundle of joy.

Been around the block and back

I am the last of my four siblings, who all have kids. I became an aunt at the age of 13 to a beautiful little girl. She actually turned seventeen today. Anyway, she and I became very close, people often thought she was mine because she went every where with me. She never wanted to stay with anyone else, she will cry until I came to get her.

She and I are still very close up to this day and for some reason this doesn't sit well with my sister and my niece's step father. He came into the story when she was about five years old. He told my sister one day that it was wrong for her daughter to be confiding in me, and not to her and he doesn't approve of our relationship. When I tried to explain why that was happening, they completely shut me out. My niece now lives with my mom who I see all the time.

Same thing happened with my other sister, who had her son when I was sixteen years old. As he grew we became close also, going everywhere I went. Telling me things he won't tell his mother and asking me questions that she should be answering. He is fourteen years now and we are also still very close. His mother told me one day that he listens and respects no one but me. But when I once again try to explain why and how she should communicate with him. I was told that I don't have children so what do I know?

Things that I have learn't

Many women just as my sister is probably thinking the same thing right now. What can you tell me about children when you don't have any of your own?

Well besides having seven nephews and three nieces, being a police officer and dealing with missing children daily, a youth club leader and a summer camp facilitator. It's fair to say I might just might be able to tell you a little something from experience of dealing with different children, different ages, different attitudes, different backgrounds.

I only wish to talk about what I have learn't from speaking with these kids and most importantly, listening to them! This is what I think alot of parents lack. The skill of listening to their children. When you listen, you learn and you understand your children better. You argue less, you become a friend. Someone who listen and understands them.

How do you deal with a problem?

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Why I listen

Listening is a big part of communication and without listening there is nothing you can learn. Children, teenagers, adults all like when people listen to what they have too say. I am positive you get upset when your child or partner, coworker, friend or even the sales attendant doesn't listen too you? So why are you doing the same?

Many adults believe that they are the parent, they make the money, put a roof over their heads, feed and clothe them, so why should they listen to anything they have too say?

Well to answer you as simply as possible. You were children once and I am sure there was some point in your childhood where you wished someone listened to you more and didn't always think you were lying and never took the time to understand you and what you were going through mentally or emotionally.

Children lash out for various reasons, where I understand some of you still believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child. We must come too terms that each generation are born differently. You lived your childhood days to learn how to deal with your kids, not meaning you grow them the same. But to groom them better. Know what hurt you, what caused you to act out and not listen to your parents. You will understand what also hurts your child and what causes them to act out the way they do.

I hope that I have not offended anyone and that my little words can reach someone far and near to help them communicate and understand their children better.


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