- Family and Parenting
Newborn-1 year is like the 'firsts'. I counted the days my son was alive until it got publicly exhausting. I counted his 'first' everything; his first foods, the first time he touched the ground, the first time he touched an animal and his first arts and crafts session (which involved a nakey baby and natural paints and a canvas). It was beautiful. I could fall into the deepest meditation in his eyes and swear I would see heaven. There was also times when I had not slept in several days and his unbeknown screams would make me contemplate everything I had ever known in life. There are times when his little unknowing face just falls asleep because he doesn't have any idea what's going on in this world. Or perhaps he just laughs, in his sleep or in his day, just because. Parenthood: the only time that a human being really ever understands or experienced Heaven and Hell. Babyhood: the only time a human being really just 'BE's'.
2 years to 3 years was cool. The boy starts to move on his own (he had been since 9 months-but now he really moves). He can go potty (maybe). He draws, signs, reads, writes (all very vaguely). If he was nursed his first years and has been moved onto real food, perhaps he is sleeping throughout the night. Nap time is still a time of savoring bliss and joy. He is beginning to comprehend what you talk about (meanwhile I am beginning to learn he does not comprehend what I am talking about). He may be introduced to TV-not for too long. He is learning how to dress himself. He is learning. He is still 'being' but also starting to 'do'.
3 years to 4 years is intense. Now we are truly entering the realm of drunkenness. Now this little guy knows better. My mom told me about the sadness that happens when the world starts to take your child away. It's sad, but it is what happens. He fights imaginary ninjas. He fights dragons. I have no idea how he learned to fight in a house with Zen and Buddhas everywhere with little TV exposure-but he has. He is drunk. He knows how to act, for the most part, and still will be whatever he wants at the whim. Just last week, walking in the snow, in all seriousness, he opened his Batman umbrella with a vengeance and yelled "GOD, Turn the stars into JaJa!". I have no idea what JaJa is or why he would think that he can give Our God a direct order.
4 and beyond- I'm not sure what is going to happen this year. I am all ears. I do know that we are all teaching these little children the best we can. I also know these little children are teaching us. Perhaps we can have loss of inhibitions, supreme devotion and faith in God, no shame and pure love-without alcohol. Perhaps we were born divinely drunk and just kill off the effects through reason, logic, conservativeness, shame and inhibitions. Perhaps we need less alcohol and drugs and more drunk.
I am 29 years old. I have 5 years sober. I have a God in my life. I believe in conservative but free values. I like things clean, I like things orderly. I believe in obeying. I believe in doing the right thing. I believe in manners. I believe in having fun...as long as nothing gets messy. I get irritable with my child and have devoted myself to the school of patience versus graduate school at this stage in my life. I'm starting to realize that catching poop in my hand is more of a success than anything I have ever done in my life. I can also multi task unbelievably, like while holding poop in one hand, and baby in another and phone on my shoulder, I can walk carefully to sink, clean off baby, clean up hand and gracefully end a phone call. I have learned that my child does not need spankings to behave better, what he needs is a hug. I have learned sugar is bad, alcohol is worse and brushing my teeth is a fine art. Schedules are important but only to allow Gods grace to shine light more so throughout the day.
I have been taught things in this world, like spending money is bad, working is our savior, fend for yourself, fear is all over the place, be careful, be your best, do your best, look out, be careful, love but not too much, don't get hurt, be safe, etc, etc, etc.....This sounds like a pretty sophisticated life. Pretty basic. Probably have the likings of low care insurance, low health insurance and life insurance. Probably also have the likings of a high retirement package, high savings accounts and high self confidence. Probably. Hopefully. Because it seems like all of this would be at the cost of the life we are actually living today. Because none of the effects of living the above life have any positive effect on the day, unless of course sacrifice is the positive effect. That sounds like a pretty bad deal to wait for tomorrow (or 50 years from now) for what could be done today. I don't want money to spend on Florida when I'm old and disabled. Nor do I want to spend time with my child when it's convinient, a district oriented vacation, or when he is forced to need me. I want to spend my life right here, right now, the way it is.