- Family and Parenting
Should Parents Have a License to Raise Kids?
You need a mandatory license to drive a car, to be a doctor, build a house, breed cattle. So why can anyone have children without the least education in parenting? Parenting is the most important job of all jobs. It creates humanity.
With today’s lack of supportive family networks, parents and single parents can be left with the daunting task of bringing up children without any help at all from more experienced parents.
Social services are put into place to rescue disaster cases but only after it is too late. Some types of neglect do not brake any laws. Yet as shown in the next true scenario, as a fairly common example, poor little Charlie deserves better parents than Paul and Emma.
A Not so Uncommon Scenario ...
It is eleven o´clock at night. A horror-movie is loudly blasting on TV. Next to the sofa, Charlie (18 months) is asleep in his push-chair, fully clothed. Charlie’s head rests against the metal bar of the push chair. His face is covered in dried up mucus and chocolate. His little feet are strapped in tight socks and shoes, and, from the smell, his bottom has not been changed in a long time. Charlie's parents’ attitude: Why disturb the little sleeping angel? Later, much later, when they themselves will go upstairs to bed, they will take little Charlie with them and plonk him, unwashed, fully dressed, into his cot.
Paul and Emma the delighted parents, sitting on the sofa in an embrace, munching popcorn, are not aware of Charlie’s discomfort. Neither do they seem to realize that Charlie’s subconscious little mind absorbs every signal around him, including the smell of his clothes and the violent noises and flashing lights blasting from the TV. Tomorrow the child will have a nappy rash. He will be irritable, aggressive, and moody. Then Emma will shout at him: “Bad Boy Charlie!”
Toddlers cannot be “bad” as they have no notion of deliberate evil mongering like adolescents or adults. When a toddler behaves "badly", as in temper tantrums, they are either expressing frustration at not being understood, or they are moody from an irritation, like a painful nappy rash. So never call a toddler bad because over time, from parents telling them how bad they are, children obey and learn to become bad.
Essentials of Parenting
Legal Child Abuse
This legal form of child abuse is rampant among isolated first time parents who lack the help of more experienced members of an extended family like aunties and uncles, grandma's and sisters, close friends or relatives who can help bring up their beloved new-born. Had Paul and Emma completed a course and passed a test in basic parenting, they would know better than to leave an unwashed, unchanged child sleeping in front of a blasting TV. They would have learned how to put a child to bed at night for an enjoyable day tomorrow.
Good Night Routine
There is a flow of fresh, outdoor air in the bedroom. The curtains are drawn.
- Put the child in the bath and play until s/he wants to get out.
- Dry off, put on pajamas and brush teeth.
- Allow the child to kiss every one in the house goodnight.
- Let the child lead you into the bedroom where it knows you will
- Read or tell a story before
- Kissing good night.
Softly colored animated musical lights dose the child off to sleep.
Now the child knows that it is fun and safe to go to sleep. Going to sleep is something everybody does every day. The child knows the difference between sleeping and being awake. It is now easier to teach the infant to respect other people when they are asleep.
Don’t get me wrong, Paul and Emma “Love Charlie To Bits!” it's just that they have never been told how to put a child to bed.
“We Love Him To Bits!”
Every parent wants the best for their child. Neglect is often not intentional, just a lack of basic knowledge. Maybe Paul and Emma haven’t taken the trouble to read up about bed-time routines and just follow their basic instinct?
Perhaps they are just lazy and don’t care? Whatever the reason for Paul and Emma’s neglectful behavior may be, just by looking at their laisser-faire and rather dirty lifestyle would never qualify these parents for adopting a child.
Should Adoption Laws Apply to All Parents?
Although the basic requirements for adoption vary from country to country, even from one state to another, the following list of basic criteria provides good guidelines for any couple intending to raise children in a safe, healthy, and caring environment.
Relationship / Marriage
- A couple should have spent at least three years living together before applying to adopt.
- Parents must have a desire to have children. Children should not be "accidents".
- Parents must have sufficient income to look after children.
- The home an adopted child must have enough space and decent living conditions.
- Applicants must be certified by a doctor that they are in good physical and mental health. No drug addicts or alcoholics qualify for adopting children.
A Clean Slate
- A history of convictions and a criminal record must be disclosed and usually disqualify a person from adopting a child.
Give a Child Your Time
- At least one of the parents has to spend time looking after a young child and can therefore not be in a full-time job.
Involving Children in the Bread Winning Process
It is very sad that so many parents, especially fathers, spend so little time with their children due to work commitments. More often than not a child does not have a clue about where the food comes from that is served at the dinner table every day. The next video exemplifies how work and raising children can sometimes be combined by involving the child to create a win-win situation for both parent and child.
Combining Work with Raising Children
Shoul Parents Have Mandatory License to Raise Children?
Considering that such a law would never pass congress, what other options would you chose?
Ignorance Is Dangerous
Some children brought up by ignorant, unemployed drug addicts and alcoholics become a greater danger to society than a badly driven car. When you apply to adopt a child you are scrutinized to the bone. So why not have a Parenting License?
Because we all know that people would never allow control over their basic right of procreation. I can already see all the “unlicensed births”, those who have no official permission to be alive because their parents didn't have a “Parenting License”. No, a mandatory Parenting License will never be put into place. Maybe it was just worth thinking about?
Give a Child Attention
Would You Make A Good Parent?
Hey ho, in the meantime, here is an alternative suggestion I came across:
Would You Make A Good Parent?
You know what they say to prospective parents? They advise people who want to have children to pass these 2 test:
- First learn to keep a plant alive for a year in your home.
- Then learn to look after a pup or a kitten until it reaches adulthood.
Only then, if you have passed these 2 tests in t.l.c., can you consider yourself a possible candidate for parenthood.
Parenting Support Groups
Do YOU think a mandatory parenting licence is a good idea?
Any parenting tips? Please leave a comment in the discussion below.
© 2016 JULIETTE KANDO - You may link to this article, but you may Not copy it. Copied content will be reported with a DMCA notice and will be removed.