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Effective Parenting Series #4 - Challenges of Being Parents
Parenting is a very noble vocation. It is not only about raising children because it completes your mission as a human being here on Earth.
Parenting takes most of your time, attention, patience, strength and most especially LOVE. Learning parental skills will make you a better person in facing all the challenges of child rearing.
With book guides or not, it takes a positive hunch in knowing how flexible you are to be a parent.
First, to be an effective parent, you should outline the goal that you have in mind. Let us base your ideas into the following purpose.
- Raise healthy, happy children.
- Give children proper education
- Train children to be good and responsible citizen
- Provide security to your family
- Practice Godliness at home.
Parenting skills are necessary in order to meet the children’s basic needs:
A.PHYSICAL NEEDS include:
- Good nutrition
- Medical care
- Rest and exercise
B. EMOTIONAL NEEDS are:
- Open communication with your children
- Concern for your children’s education
- Mental stimulation or creativity
- Provisions for learning aids
As parents you are responsible in guiding your children properly. There is no excuse about it. Appropriate behavior will always show that you are disciplining your children with love, teaching social skills, encouraging independence, know how to deal with frustration, communicate constantly and openly and serve as models to your children.
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- Permissive-indulgent: Your child can manipulate you because you allow his or her desires or whims. You are raising spoiled brats. You are helping them to be dangerous persons in the future!
- Authoritarian: You demand that your words and rules must be followed without complaint. If your children answered back, you usually hit them with your hands or things that you can throw at them.
- Authoritarian-neglectful: You practice open communication. You are weighing particular situation and both of you (parents-children) talk on how to solve it.
- Neglectful: You do not give much care or care to your children’s needs. You have other priorities, like your personal desires (material things) and also your friends.
There is no exact parenting style that is appropriate for every child. Your knowledge about your children and your kind of relationship with him or her can help you determine an appropriate parenting style.
Meanwhile, the most important thing is that the couple’s point of view about parenting jive together. It will not just be the wife who will rear the children at home because her husband is busy with his work.It must be a two-way process.
Sharing is important among the couple, especially when it comes to home chores, educational support of the children; attend to each other’s needs among others.
We cannot avoid conflicts at home. The nagging wife will always accuse her husband as two-timing beast, who cannot provide for his family or similar situation of blaming, counting each other’s faults, etcetera. Manifestations of marital conflicts will always include: verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and financial problems.
Family life is also spiritual life. It’s like a church with leader and parishioner. Parenting will always be challenging. We should never forget that husband-wife relationship should show lots of praising, focusing on the positive outlook in life, affirmation, sharing of ideas or leveling and lots of dialogue.