How to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome
How to let go of Your Baby
Parenting doesn’t stop when your child leaves home. However the dynamics of the relationship does change drastically. One of the most difficult hurdles is accepting the fact that your child has reached adulthood. Although he or she is a young adult with much to learn, the time has come for that child to leave the nest and reach out to the world.
Believe me when I tell you that I completely understand the helpless and fearful feelings when your child leaves home. You and your child are both stepping out on faith. Embrace that faith and pray for safety, wisdom, and discernment for both of you.
Just because your baby is out on his or her own, more than likely, you are still the person he or she will come to for guidance and advice. However, it is important that you let your newly grown up child make his or her own mistakes. Do not push unsolicited advice. This will change the dynamics of the relationship in a direction that will possibly alienate you from your child. This doesn’t mean you don’t have an opinion, or your opinion doesn’t matter. If you strongly feel your youngster is headed in the wrong direction, it is your responsibility to mention your disapproval. However, at that point, it is best to remain silent about the issue unless asked. If the issue is one of safety or health as in a drug and alcohol problem, a mental health issue, or any other potentially hazardous direction, these rules obviously do not apply. You should express you’re your opinion giving reasons why the situation is so dangerous, and possibly bring in professionals to help.
As difficult as it will be to live without your child around all the time, you will yearn to make contact with them via telephone or drop by visits. Curb those urges. Reasonable contact is acceptable, but daily phone calls will become annoying to your young adult. I recommend you initiate a telephone call no more than once a week unless your youngster tells you otherwise. Now that he or she has reached this mile stone in his or her life, they and their home should be treated with the respect you would offer any other adult. No surprise visits. Make mutually agreeable arrangements for a time to see each other.
Learning to Live Without Your Child
In order to keep your sanity, you must keep yourself busy. Now is the time to treat yourself to the things you would normally sacrifice for your child. This is your time to begin to allow yourself a little selfishness. After all, you earned it!
It goes without saying that you will always keep them in your thoughts and prayers. As said before, try to make arrangements for a weekly phone call and possibly a weekly visit. Invite them over for dinner on a specific night of the week, just to catch up. Share adult dialogue without passing judgment. Share your life events and ask about theirs; without being intrusive.
Accept Your Achievments
Have faith that you raised your child the best way you could. Know the words and actions you’ve displayed are embedded in their minds and they will fall back on their childhood training. Be realistic though. Your young adult will make mistakes, just as you did and still do. We are all human and full of imperfections. However, realize that you have instilled a great moral base in your child. He or she will rely on the teachings and examples you have given them to get through life. The most important thing that you should remember is that your young adult will be a great adult, and only get better with age.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Empty Nest Syndrome
How are you dealing with your children growing up and starting their own lives?
Here are a few Helpful Links:
- Empty Nest Syndrome | Psychology Today
Definition of Empty Nest Syndrome: Empty Nest Syndrome refers to feelings of depression, sadness, and/or grief experienced by parents and caregivers after children come of age and leave their childhood homes. This...
- Empty nest syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A brief definition of Empty Nest Syndrome
Thank you for your interest in my article. I certainly hope the read was helpful and comforting. Please feel free to express your opinion by leaving a comment, suggestion, or constructive criticism in the comments section below.
"Be kind to one another" ~ Ellen
God Bless You ~ Margaret Sullivan