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Facing the Inevitable: Teen Sex

Updated on March 9, 2012

All parents, probably from most cultures, sooner or later deal with this issue. In western cultures, this usually means talking about it, sex ed in school and parents having the uncomfortable knowledge their kids may or have had true sex. In more religious cultures, the subject is probably taboo to even talk about and teens are scared to even touch the opposite sex or talk to them. I can't imagine how the parents feel in this culture because it is a natural God given right, to procreate.

So, the situation in many homes could be the following, the despite the education about safe sex, despite parents trying to make sure their kids do not have sex until, at least, 18, despite admonishments from parents, teens in relationships begin to explore that word.

What would you do, if, despite your warnings as a parent, you found out your kids had sex? What if you discovered them in the act? What would you do, if, even after the first discovery your teen continued to have safe sex, despite your wishes?

Parents are in a fairly helpless situation here. You cannot monitor your teens movements or action or even whereabouts. What recourse would parents actually have?


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      anon 5 years ago

      We have been attacking this the wrong way, when we were teens we probably did what we are trying to prevent! Talk about being a hypocrit.

      Nothing that can't be done. Where there is a will, there is a way. Parents should concentrate on education of safe practices, the repercussions of doing it with the wrong person, the negative impact it can have in their circle of friends (even neighborhood), etc. Parents should encourage their children to engage in the act once they feel they are ready AND can take on the responsibility of the offspring should pregnancy occur. Basically, you think you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to work for your stuff and manage your finances (cell phone, dinner out, theater, etc).

      In my case - should my daughter decide to do this and fall on her face - I will provide food and shelter, but will not pay for anything else (not even child care). Actions should have consequences, this is where most parents fail.

    • perrya profile image

      perrya 5 years ago

      Thanks. Always a touch and go scenario!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      If we could just keep them in a box until they turn twenty-one, it would prevent so many broken hearts. We must share our beliefs with our children and advise them of the harm pre-marital sex can cause. They are children and do not have the experience and knowledge we have on relationships.

      As others have stated, it does not prevent them from exploring and even participating in sex. Good parenting will deal with issues as they come up, not give in, but will advise as to consequences of choices. Great hub topic and one that a follow-up in stats and thoughts from teen would be quite interesting and educational.

    • perrya profile image

      perrya 5 years ago

      yes, girls in 7th grade now have to spend a weekend with a pretend baby doll, about the same size and weight as a real one, it is programmed to cry, wet and they have to carry it the whole time

    • roxanne459 profile image

      Roxanne Lewis 5 years ago from Washington

      Speaking as a parent of 4 and a person who got pregnant at 16 years old, I would try to make sure they understood that there is more than disease and pregnancy to consider. Especially for girls! Sex at the wrong time in life or for the wrong reasons can alter the way they view intimacy and their own sexuality way into adulthood. Sex is an amazing, wonderful part of a persons life. I really want to make sure that my kids are able to fully enjoy that when the time is right for them.

    • perrya profile image

      perrya 5 years ago

      My time is coming, share the pain. But, reflecting back to that age, I have no comment.

    • jenntyl99 profile image

      jenntyl99 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Your hub could not have had more perfect timing. We discovered our 16 year daughter recently engaged in this act, despite all of our attempts to curtail this from happening. Yes, it is inevitable that teens will find a way if they want to engage in sex, regardless of the measures parents take to try to prevent this. We are the type of parents that allowed a boy over but only in our presence and monitor her activities, yet she found a way. As a parent, I just knew she committed the act and made her fess up to me. Now the next part is making sure that she understands that she needs to use protection and also not be willing to have sex just because, as it leads to being labeled. Oh, thr joys of parenting a teen!