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Faith to a child means trust

Updated on December 14, 2015

Faith to a Child means Trust

My teenage daughter of 17 years lives with me at the moment and I was married for 14 years and I have been divorced for 7 years. She went through a lot in her life and there are times when I wished that she had had a normal childhood; predictable and consistent. With a younger brother of 13 years, this made life more difficult for her. We all want the best for our children but life turns out in different ways than we planned.

She was always this bubbly, inquisitive and eager to learn little girl. Head strong, always knew what she wanted and how exactly she wanted things. Books became one of her favourite things when she started to read and giving speeches in front of her class were not a problem at all. With her ability to read people as well, she could soon spot the unpopular kids and made friends with them. Not being the girly type either, it was more fun to hang out with the boys anyway; standing up for herself if she had something to say.

High school brought a lot of changes and my relationship with her started to grow thinner and she had to stay with her father. I was in a car accident, lost my car, work and home and couldn’t see my kids very often anymore.

My children went to church with me and then everything changed. My daughter felt that I had abandoned her and she didn’t trust me anymore.

My walk with God

My heart was broken and it was difficult to prove myself to my kids that I will be there for them. Eventually I found my own place again and work and it motivated me to do more writing. My faith comes from my everyday walking with God, hearing his voice to know what to write and what to do.

Living with my daughter

My daughter came to live with me again almost a year ago after she and her father had a fight. She was not the same child, broken and not trusting my decisions at all or what my plans are going to be for the future. Her thoughts were, I have let her down once and I am going to do it again, no matter how much I explained to her what happened.

Oh ja, she has become an atheist as well. It broke my heart, but I never gave up on her.

Every day was and still is a day of believing and teaching her to trust me again and showing her that God loves her. I am not like all the other moms at school and she has to walk to school. I teach her about life, who she is and what she can accomplish in life with all her gifts and talents. I listen to all her stories from school of her teachers and friends. We make jokes about cooking and my old fashioned clothes and hair. Little by little she started to take my advice and ask me first before she made a decision. She became less withdrawn and more outspoken again and her confidence started to grow. I started to see that small headstrong 3year old coming out again. She has learned to find solutions for problems and know there are other ways around solving them. With her freedom to walk where she wanted to go and me trusting her to let me know where she is and what time she will be back, she has behaved very responsibly.

Children do what we do and I am the closest example she has to who God is. Maybe she became an atheist because there was nothing else to believe in or she was so hurt and disappointed in the other examples. I went to her drama practical exam and I was the only parent there and she was so proud to have me there watching her doing her exam.

Faith to a child

Faith to a child means relationships and it is not just about buying things, but to be there for them. It is easier for a child who has a good trusting relationship with a parent to understand how to have faith and trust in God. Children will believe the parents when they tell them about God, because their lives will be an example of God to them.

This afternoon when she had to leave again, I said to her: “I love you”

She said: “Love you too mom”

which she has not said to me in a very long time

Quote from her profile pic on her phone

“ So you can drag me through hell, if it meant I could hold your hand”

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