Family: How the Relation Between Father and Mother Affect Their Children
How Relationship At Home Affect Children
How Relationship At Home Affect Children
Children that grow up with both parents present tend to be more stable. Psychologists have affirmed that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to gain emotional stability. Love and affection are very important for the proper requirement for a child’s emotional maturity - the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted especially by the parents. Children brought up in a home devoid of love most times grow up with some serious character problem. Some end up being criminals, because they lack attention at home. With an adequate supply of affection, the child will more likely develop into a responsible adult. Without love, he or she will be emotionally and socially retarded.
The relationship between couple determines the type of home a child will develop in. When the relationship is cordial, the children will develop in an ambience of love. The children who grow up watching their parents showing respect for each other normally grow up emulating such positive attribute. But if the couple is living like cat and dog such relationship will equally affect the children negatively. Some couples are known to engage in disgraceful acts before their children.
Early childhood development of each child follows a unique emotional pattern. The Bible says, “Teach your child the way to go and he grows up he will not depart from it.” Some children for example, develop a pattern of low self-esteem whereas others have healthy self-esteem. Some children are ridiculed by their peers who are aware of their parents’ unfriendly relationship. The ones in such families develop emotional patterns of insecurity whereas others brought up in lovely ambience grow up feeling secure. The children from peaceful homes grow up feeling loved, wanted, and appreciated, yet others from quarrelsome homes grow up feeling unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated.
In the home where there is platonic relationship between the husband and wife, the children will feel loved by their parents and will develop a primary emotional love based on their unique psychological makeup and the way their parents and other significant persons expressed love to them. The youthful age is the time children form their characters, so parents should endeavor to provide a peaceful home for their children to grow up in. They will develop knowing what it means to be loved and will express love in return. Before children can show love to others they must have been showed what love is all about.
Children who do not grow up in lovely and peaceful home can also develop feeling for love but not as easy as the ones who grew up in lovely homes. However, their idea of love may somewhat be distorted in much the same way as some children who learn mathematics under a bad teacher. Likewise, children who grow up with an undeveloped sense of emotional love can also come to feel loved and to communicate love, but they will have to work at it more diligently than those who grew up in healthy, loving atmosphere.
There have been results of children who had gone into mis-guided search for the love they could not get at home. They ended up seeking love mostly in wrong places and employing wrong ways in their search.
Joan who was thirteen got pregnant in high school. Joan was nine years when her parents divorced. Her father left and her mother after two years remarried. Joan felt abandoned. She wanted to be loved, and hence she didn’t feel loved by her parents, she sought love in the school she attended. She met a boy who was four years older. He was kind to her and she felt he loved her. She didn’t know he wanted only to satisfy his sexual urge.
He persuaded her to have sex with him which resulted to pregnancy. Her mother who she still lived with was mad with rage. Her mother and stepfather had provided just for Joan’s physical needs but not her emotional needs. They realized it when it was already too late.
Generally, it is believed that children tend to stabilize a home. However, raising children in a home where unhappiness exists is quite a different matter. When a husband and wife are not congenial and have found difficulty in bringing about blending of their personalities, it is better for them to solve their difference before deliberately bringing children into the home to share its misfortune. It is not fair to a child to be brought into a home where discord is the order of the day.
While staying together as a couple and making your marriage work is of utmost importance and benefit to you, but also a blessing to the children that will be brought into that home. When a husband helps his wife with the work at home, the children will think, “We feel safe because our father loves our mother.” The children will later give back the love they received from their parents especially when they old and cannot fend for themselves any more.
From time to time, people considering marriage talk about having children, some of them understand the joy and responsibility which is attached in such a task, others do not. They are surprised later that being a parent is not always fun. Anyone considering marriage needs to evaluate the gift of parenting. It is an experience involving patience, joy, faithfulness to a long-term goal and commitment to another person especially your spouse and children. It is unfortunate that not all married couples are prepared to accept such responsibility.