- Family and Parenting
Family Is Not Always Blood
Family, What's It Good For?
Long ago family was blood, they were those who were there for you and you for them regardless if you believed in their cause or not. You would have each others back to say the least. Family used to be a bond that you would explicitly share with your blood line thus bonding you forever and having an unspoken respect and love for those people. What is the good of family or at least blood family if the unspoken bonds no longer apply? Without that bond what is it all good for?
As the times have changed so has our concept of family. It is no longer a blood bond of unconditional support, it has now come to a choice based on who actually supports you and is there for you like family. Some people do not even have contact with their blood family because of all the wrong they have done and disrespect they show. If you can't have the respect and love that you should have and be showing to your family then what is it good for? Why not choose our family?
A Lifetime of Letdowns
Being part of a family is not a right it is a privilege. If you are lucky enough to be part of a family growing up especially one that loves and supports you no matter what you know all too well that there are many times that your family will let you down and many time you will let them down. It's just a part of life. The clincher is how many letdowns is too many? There comes a point in every person's life when you get disappointed more than not and you contemplate not participating with those who let you down so often. I am well aware that this is not how many people operate however just because those hurting you are your family does not mean that you have to deal with it forever. Sure you grew up with them, sure they may have raised you but if they are not respecting you the way you respect them for so many years, because they can't seem to find the time to ever ask how you are doing and just say hi regardless of all of your attempts to do does not mean you have to put up with it. If a friend you hold near and dear to you spends years disspointing you time and time again you just stop being friends and if you have friends who have your back no matter what you are there for them as well. Why is family treated any differently now?
I am not talking so much about your mother or father because even though they may disappoint you a lot they try. I am talking about extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins and what not. If you put in your all and you care and all you want is a response to all your attempts to see how they are doing and make sure they are alright and you get nothing in return, it belittles you, makes you feel unwanted, unloved, not worthy of their love in return. A lifetime of hurt feelings can create hostility eventually resulting in some form of backlash. After so long you may even just cut ties all together omitting the drama and the sadness.
Blood Family or Chosen Family
I wanted to do some research on this topic but decided that it woiuld be better to hear from my audience however few of you there are. I personally have made my own family by expelling those who have lied, stolen and treated me like garbage and replaced them with people who always stand by me and I by them. Those I respect and feel are worth my time. My friend have become my family and I have not spoken to any of my blood family other than my father and brother. I can honestly say that life is a lot less stressful and I feel like it was a good move to make. There of course is a long history behind my decisions and after years of belittlement I chose what was best for me but that is besides the point. I feel that it has become the norm for people to surround themselves with people they chose and block the ones that make them feel like junk. In today's world it seems that blood is not what ties us together anymore but who you are as a person.
I want to know what everyone else thinks. Is it socially acceptable in today's world to create your own family with whomever you chose?