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Family Beliefs: Morals and Values
helping kids develop strong morals and values
Family morals are beliefs that families have about right and wrong, and good and bad. Morals are the foundation of discipline. Discipline teaches children to make good choices, to cooperate, and follow the rules. This is important, because without the moral basis of "right and wrong," Kids would feel confused about boundaries, and wouldn't be able to make proper moral judgements!
Family values are the moral guidelines that family members believe have worth. When a belief has worth it has value. So if you are teaching your kids no hitting , no fighting, be respectful. Those are all morals you expect your child to practice. So my question is where do parents blur the lines, and think that any of their morals will have worth when they themselves don't follow their own moral beliefs? Like its not OK for the kids to hit the dog, but it is OK for you? Or don't hit your brother, but you walk over and hit him to make him stop hitting? I don't understand lol. So the moral of treating people and animals with respect is then thrown out the window, and will have little value! If your morals are to have worth, then shouldn't everybody in the family practice what they preach?
Accompanying an emotional component to the learning experience truly is the difference weather something has value or not. These experiences can be good or bad. What I mean is this...you remember all the great things that you did or had during your childhood. You also remember the horrible experiences or even traumatic things. The good memories make you feel good,smile, and have good thoughts. Negative feelings make you mad,hurt, maybe even resentful. Which is why you are less likely to recall these moments in life, although they influence our daily decisions and morals. Some parents feel that where there is pain there is gain???? I know that my kids will fall down and get hurt, or have broken hearts, and maybe even do really stupid stuff like a slip 'n' slide in the kitchen. But in no way would I want them to feel pain. What could they possibly gain from that? How would incorporating unpleasant experiences around a lesson teach them anything? Yes they will learn from broken hearts, or a bump on the head, but as a parent aren't you supposed to try to protect them? Children are threatened with a spanking, or even loss of parental love if they even think about doing something bad.
"Are you asking for a spanking" (what kid would say yes, please spank me?)
Stop crying before I give you a reason to cry? HUH? yes you want your kid to stop crying, so in order to make her stop your going to cause her pain???? This makes perfect sense ha ha!!
The only moral that is being learned is not a positive one. It's showing them how to make threats, or bully people, and using violence to get what they want. I have spanked my kids I am not going to say that i havn't but it don't happen very often, and I always feel horrible after it. I believe if spanking was the right thing to do then why do so many parents feel the need to say they are sorry after? Don't we apologize for stuff we did wrong?
To sum all this up, the goal of getting kids to have positive moral beliefs and family values In treating others with respect has to be a learning experience that exemplifies what parents want their kids to learn.