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The Ongoing Pangs Of Fatherhood

Updated on July 24, 2011

The Ongoing Pangs Of Fatherhood

I have heard mothers reminding their children about the birth pangs they went through to bring their respective bundles of joy into the world – so, I am in no way comparing fatherhood to the same, but the sweet challenges are nevertheless daunting sometimes. First, I used to be that dictator controlling that six-inch fiefdom known as the TV remote, but when my daughter came, I had to abdicate, or more accurately, surrender it. Now, I thought that I would solve the problem by buying another television, but even now when my daughter is with me, I still have to watch all things Disney. Do you know what it is like to watch Dora and Hannah Montana, among others, ad nauseum? If I ever meet Dora, I am afraid that I might do something terrible (joking). And what with the different dolls, why doesn’t one suffice? My better half keeps telling me it is because I was bereft of certain amenities as a child… why I don’t understand our daughter’s penchant for collecting toys.

Another aspect of fatherhood is the lessons learned. It took a professor in Antioch, California to get me to finally understand ‘Einstein’s Theory of Relativity,’ and although my grandma and mother have tried to convey to me the Christian concept of ‘Original Sin,’ it took my having a daughter to grasp it. When our daughter was four or so, I sent her to the bathroom so that she wouldn’t wet the bed; unbeknownst to her, I watched her to make sure that she used the rest room. Now, I do not recalled my wife or I teaching my daughter to lie, but here was our daughter entering the bathroom, flushing the toilet, and washing her hands … selling the lie by pretending to have used the bathroom – Original Sin!

Couple of days ago, my mother told me a joke about President Obama; apparently, our President was having angst because his oldest daughter was scheduled to go out on her first dance, and, also, he was worried about the length of her skirt that she intended to wear at the dance – a battle he probably lost. I feel your pain Mr. President… mine is far from going to dances and the like, yet I spend time worried... with my mind teeming with the various growing pain scenarios. I must say to would-be fathers, your daughters may want you to buy all sorts of toys, but you could use said toys as leverage for them to behave. By the way, if anything were to happen to Verily Prime, tell the authorities to look at my daughter because she might have put out a ‘Fatwa’ on me. Why? Well, at seven, my daughter can read and might read this blog and she will not take kindly to my “dissing” of Hannah Montana and the rest of her beloved Disney characters.


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