Father's Day...It's never too late.
It's never too late...to see what could've been...
With Father's Day just behind us, I find myself needing to write this bit, in hopes that it will help encourage anybody else out there facing difficulties with their parents in general or are facing issues with their children, when it comes to bonding, and having a parent/child relationship.
It's never too late to make things RIGHT...
I'll be first to tell you, I'm no therapist...I speak from My own personal experience and feelings. What I can tell you though, is that there is virtually nothing on the face of this Earth, that is worth letting a wedge get driven into one of the most important relationships to a child..regardless of how old they are, and that's a parent/child relationship.
Anybody can make a baby...
I am 26 years old and have never known who the Male Counterpart that helped create me is...I'd still like to one day, only because I want to know what my nationality is, and any medical history (pretty nerdy reason, I know). I could see possibly having a friendship at most with this individual, if we ever met but, he is definitely NOT my Father.
My Father came into my life when I was just 2 years old.
Never too late to turn things around...
My Father came into my life when I was just 2 years old. Though we have never been close, as I always felt like the odd one out growing up, and even now, while also feeling like the relationship he had with my 2 younger siblings was drastically different than with me, in a sense that they were all much closer to each other. We definitely had our share of ups, downs, hardships, teenage hormone triggered fights, grudges, and moments neither of us were proud of. It will never take away from the fact that his parenting definitely made me the person I am today, or the fact that no matter how bad or good times were, I still had a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes for school, and the voice in the back of my mind telling me, I better not do anything stupid or there'd be consequences.
I will never forget my Father telling me, when I was a teenager that he thought one of the reasons we tended to have tension was because I knew I was going to be very much like him, and that it probably drove me nuts. At the time I hated hearing those words, and swore that I'd NEVER be like my Father. Those words couldn't be more true today!! I see so many of the same traits, and interests in me that my Father has, the same traits and interests that I used to find annoying, or absurd as a teenager at that, also!!
Over the years, I feel as if I've spun my wheels trying to build a relationship and bond, with my Father! even thought at one time, it was too late, or there were still unsettled things preventing it. It's always been a very touch and go, 1 step forward - 2 steps back, strange type of area. We're in eachother's lives but, there isn't any type of bond, these days I feel more like a family friend than I do a daughter. Though, I wish there was a bond, this Father's Day, I finally decided to permanently place that ball in his court and leave it there. At this point, I can only hope, right?
I could never thank my Father enough for raising me, or for me learning so much from him.
It's because of my personal experiences that I share my beliefs that it's never too late, to overcome anything that may be driving a wedge between you and your parent, or you and your child. No grudge, fight, or wrong doing is worth the loss of such an important bond. It's never too late to make things right, and start over. Everyday is a new begining. I hope this piece will shed some light on this subject and let others that are experiencing similar obstacles know to not lose hope, or give up, and be the person to even take initiative to break down whatever walls there may be. No matter the age, a child will always thrive better knowing they have parents they can bond with, that believe in them, are proud of them, and support them.
© 2015 Diana De La Vega