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Feeling isolated as a SAHM

Updated on July 17, 2011

Feeling isolated as a new mom

I often wonder how many of us, moms who stay at home with their children suffer from being somewhat isolated, feeling not appreciated and burnt out? As I am thinking of this I remember stories my mother spun about her own childhood and long ago times when she lived in a small village across the pond. She grew up in a tiny tipsy house that had just one bedroom and a big kitchen that served as a main room in the house. My grandmother was busy all the time, she was a very good seamstress and had lots of orders but like any other woman she juggled her sewing with other chores. They had a small yard with cherry trees that I even remember because she took me there once. The cherries were very sweet but I couldn't comprehend how could they all have lived in that small tiny place. My mom explained that village kids played outside all the time and since there were no cars yet, it was safe for them to gang up and play together out in the village. Not only this, women lived so close by that they babysat their neighbor's children and cooked together sometimes. It was a small place so everyone knew what was cooking next door. One more important thing, the grandparents usually lived with the family and nobody was ever alone. Remember that one only bedroom? They also called it a cold room, they wouldn't even heat it up in the winter, this room was solely for sleeping. Now, they all slept in that one room, parents, grandparents, children.

Wintry forest near my mother's birthplace

Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Need to connect with people

How does this differ from today's reality? I live a comfortable life with all modern appliances, gadgets and nice stuff but there is something missing. I deeply feel a lack of strong human connections because I am so far from my core family. My parents are thousands of miles away and so are my other relatives. I slowly managed to plant the seeds of friendships and I cultivate them carefully. Not only I am in a strange land but this is an era of internet and internet connections. Now we talk to our family through Skype and email more than see them. But I feel sometimes forlorn and disconnected. I live so far away from some of my friends that the time to drive to them is long and the need to connect instantly is already gone. I wish sometimes to be in that snowy village of the time past where my mother frolicked as a child and be one of those moms who could just go and visit their neighbor without calling ahead and consulting the calendars.

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    • Autumn McCarthy profile image

      Autumn McCarthy 6 years ago from Native Californian Living in Texas

      Beautiful, and so true. I plan to write something on this very topic.

    • Monisajda profile image
      Author

      Monisajda 6 years ago from my heart

      Autumn, thanks. I read in your bio that you are a Californian in Tx. It's funny, I used to live in Dallas and now I am in California :-)

    • Autumn McCarthy profile image

      Autumn McCarthy 6 years ago from Native Californian Living in Texas

      Haha how funny!

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      Auntie M 6 years ago

      Oh how true when life was much less complicated and simple things satisfied our taste and time. Playing outside with neighborhood friends was the norm. Unfortunately today we allow our chidren to communicate via texting even with family. What happened to game nights and round table family discussions?.

    • Monisajda profile image
      Author

      Monisajda 6 years ago from my heart

      Thanks Auntie M. This is exactly what should matter the most, being with people we love.

    • marshacanada profile image

      marshacanada 6 years ago from Vancouver BC

      Thanks for this moving hub. In the developed world of the Western countries we have too many material belongings and too little human connections. And in the Developing world I have often seen people who have very few material belongings but so many beautiful human connections.

    • Monisajda profile image
      Author

      Monisajda 6 years ago from my heart

      Marshacanada, I agree, I actually remember growing up in a place where we used to have basic things although we never lacked food and clothes. Life was simpler.

    • JLClose profile image

      JLClose 6 years ago from OreGONE

      Wow, you paint a neat picture of what life was like for your parents and grand-parents in another country. I, personally, would LOVE a middle ground. A smallish house with three bedrooms (one for parents, one for kids, one for grandparents) in a quiet cul-de-sac where the kids can play outside and be safe.

    • Monisajda profile image
      Author

      Monisajda 6 years ago from my heart

      JLClose, you made me smile, I like your middle ground!

    • profile image

      Anna 6 years ago

      Dear Monika,

      I always talk to yr hubby as I know him from back home and we never get to have time for me to get 'in touch' with you. Only two days ago email request for votes had me now in touch with you. Great, fantastic, as all you so beautifuly are putting on here, trust me, I wish I can do with same quality of english language. I guess you as artist has mastered the arts of expressing yourself in artful english. Reading what you wrote, I am joyfull as out there there is you who feel and see all the same as I do. Gosh. If I had known all these years....never mind....it seems time is right , right now, to get in touch. And thank you for writing those words on behalf of all of us who are like you too. God bless. Anna xxx

    • profile image

      Katherine 6 years ago

      I am a military spouse and relate very much to the feelings of isolation and having relatives live thousands of miles away. Plus the military moves me away from any jobs I manage to land, which makes it even more isolating as I've worked all my life prior to my husband joining the military when we were in our 30's.

    • Monisajda profile image
      Author

      Monisajda 6 years ago from my heart

      Thanks for your comment Anna and Katherine.

      Katherine, aren't military wifes finding a good support on a base from each other?

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