- Family and Parenting
Fighting With Your Spouse| Know Who is Getting Hurt| Your Child| The effect Of Fighting Parents
Do you fight with your Spouse
Do You Fight With Your Spouse
Does every morning start with arguments over breakfast and each night ends with a quarrel over dinner for you and your spouse?
Do both of you get into ugly fights and scream and yell so hard that the neighborhood comes knocking to your door?
If the answer to all this is yes then you, your spouse, your child and your marriage are all in grave danger. THE DANGER OF FALLING APART!
Here I will share how your child will fall apart.
Do you love your Child?
Do You Love your Child?
If no… then please do not read further, it is no use as you will not gain from this article. You may have your reasons but seriously I do not want to waste your time. No Offence :)
For those with a yes:
You love your child and everything about him and wish to see him rise to lead a happy life in the future. You smile each morning when you see his face and sing lullabies to him every night and wish him the sweetest of dreams.
DADS: You wish him to have the best baseball bat and go play ball with him every evening
MOMS: You make him the best chicken in the world and sing praises of him in front of your friends
Yea, both of you love him… but you fight… I mean… you Brawl
My dear parents… parental love is not individual, it is complete when you love your child as whole
Now let me tell you your child is suffering heavily fur to your fighting. He sits in the corner and weeps seeing you rip each other apart not knowing that he is falling the most.
This is how he or she suffers or will suffer:
1. Very Low Self Esteem
It is a very general consequence of parental fighting which occurs in children. They may feel very low of themselves, consider themselves outcaste and abstain from social interaction at school and play. This feeling usually gets prolonged and leads to a seriously unhappy life. Such children fall easy prey to bullying and social abuse.
2. Poor Self Confidence
Low self esteem will lead to poor self confidence. The feeling starts from when the child sees that he cannot stop his parents from fighting. The feelings lead to extensive feeling of low confidence at other places and activities like studies and extra-curricular activities. The child tends to socially isolate himself and start hating and feeling negative about him all the time.
3. Induced Fear, Trauma and Shock
The violent atmosphere at home leads to permanent feelings of fear in the child. He tends to fear the slightest scene of violence and is traumatized by loud voices, smallest of gatherings and tends to develop fear inducing hallucinations. All this leads to frequent trauma and shock. The holistic development of the child is destroyed and such tendencies show evidence in poor academic performance and poor feedback at school.
4. Mental Abuse
You do not realize but you usher mental abuse to your child when you fight with your spouse. Mental abuse can be all these effects combined with the feelings of loneliness and depravation. You should know that any kind of abuse to the child is punishable under the court of law and you are guilty in this case. Such abuse to a child remains inside him for a major time of lifespan and he is not able to attain stability at any point and frame in his life.
5. Loss of Parental Feelings and Respect
You can also refer to this as rebellious tendencies. A rebel child may render you words you have not heard before of him which may be unpleasant enough to cause you depression! Seeing both of you fight in childhood, the feeling of love and respect for both of you may disappear slowly towards the future and feelings of hatred may take over.
It pains when the child you loved and cared for suddenly walks up to you, says bad things and leaves and never comes back. Parents do not realize the reasons behind this but in most cases fighting parents are the cause.
6. Escapist Tendencies
When deprived of love and understanding in a collective form at home, children tend to seek such feelings outside the boundaries of home and often fall into wrong hands which may have dire consequences like physical and sexual abuse. On the other fronts early exposure to drugs, smoking and alcohol may take place due to escapism.
Escapist tendencies lead to rebellious nature in the long run. This happens due to brain washing in the wrong company of friends or peers. This sort of activity may render your child into the world of crime. As such children seek understanding outside, shrewd people tend to take advantage of this fact and exploit them.
7. Increase in Gullibility and Vulnerability
Escapist tendencies lead to rise of gullibility and vulnerability. When the child seeks parental comfort on the outside he falls prey to those who exploit on the basis of showing slight care and infusing negative perspectives and opinions in their minds which increases gullibility all the more. Such children tend to divert towards bad ways of leading lives and have to face umpteen difficulties later on!
8. Profound inferiority Complex
One of the most noted consequences of parental quarrels is the feeling of inferiority induced in children. When they see classmates or other children in the neighborhood in good parental company they feel inferior about having dismal parents. This complex slowly creeps in and spreads to other aspects of their professional and personal lives later on.
9. Acute Depression
In worse cases a dangerous mental condition of depression develops. This general happens with female children. It is accompanied by fits, epilepsy and suicidal tendencies. Chronic feelings of loneliness, inferiority and mental imbalance may lead to a very unhealthy and devastating life.
10. Exposure to other kinds of Abuse
Another consequence which develops later on in reference to escapism and gullibility is the exposure to other kinds of abuse like physical, sexual, drugs and alcohol. This again leads to all other kinds of trauma and leads to a life which is propelled to destruction
Are you scared for your child yet? Children deserve better. What was there fault in your fights? Why do they have to suffer?
If you love your child please sit down and have a talk; discuss matters. There might be some misunderstandings leading up to your fights. Sort them out. You are above fighting and quarreling. You are mature beings who love each other and your child. That is why you married in the first place… to have a happy family of your own.
Are you facing an upcoming Divorce
About Getting Divorced
It is the same as rendering your child orphan. He will feel the need of the other parent but never tell you. I agree that in some cases it is necessary to separate. If you have such cases then act quickly, for the betterment of your child at least!
Scared! Let me scare you more: Read some facts about Children and Divorce here and come back!
In the end just this much :
DO YOUR BIT FOR YOUR DEPRIVED CHILDREN. THEY DESERVE BETTER