- Family and Parenting
First Child After the Second Baby
It is quite common that mothers become more protective of the newborn baby especially from the first child. Usually an age gap of two to three years is maintained by most of the parents to give birth to another child. And many times few parents have the second baby even before the first baby becomes two years old. So, in most of the cases, the first child is still very much attached to the mother.
The arrival of the new sibling suddenly snatches the mother away from the first child. They can no longer stay attached to their mother as they used to be. This makes them feel that they are ignored and not loved. As the mother has to take care of the newborn, she reduces her leisure time with the elder kid. Most of the time, the bed time stories are not told, you started teaching them how to eat all by themselves, how to dress up alone, in fact, slowly shifting the responsibilities of living on their tiny and fragile shoulder.
This is how human life cycle goes on and following these rules is natural. However, in the process, it is important to make your first child strong enough to face the reality. They should not feel that they are left away or not taken care of.
The parenting burden grows more with two children. If you start shouting or instructing, or bit like ordering, to your elder child for whatever mistake they do, they will develop a queer feeling of lack of attachment and love with you. So, how can you still maintain the love relationship with your first child while you take care of the second child as well?
First, let them know that the newborn is also a part of the family by explaining them the relationship through stories and simple talks. Never ever advice them, it is not the right age that they can understand good advices. Teach them through daily activities. Let them feel that they are growing up and they can do their own things by themselves. Let them feel proud of whatever new achievement they get in a day.
Let them learn that they are elder and are meant to protect the new baby. Show that you still love them through your simple gestures. Simply hug them if you feel that they need you. Do not ignore their needs even if you are aware of it. Of course, only mother can feel the true needs of their children. It is rare that they hurt the newborn intentionally but each time, it happens only because they are not aware how to play with or take care of the newborn. Before slapping them for the mistakes, just take a deep breath and tell them the DOs and DON’Ts.
Constant guidance is the only way of making them perfect brothers and sisters in the later parts of the life. After all they are kids and you are fully grown up besides being their parent. It will be hard for them to catch up with the grown up mind. It is you who should manage to stay with their age.
Your constant throws of anger will only take them away from you and you will regret for the failure in making them a good and responsible person to live on.