ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Teens»
  • Advice & Tips for Parents of Teens

Seven Tips To Avoid Arguments with your Teen-aged son.

Updated on September 30, 2014

HOW MANY TIMES IN A DAY DOES YOUR TEENAGER SAY -WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ME?

See results

Motherhood - The self contented job

The bright smiles ares a reflection of mutual confidence.
The bright smiles ares a reflection of mutual confidence. | Source

The Challenges a Teenager Poses

As you embark on life's greatest challenge- PARENTING - GOOD LUCK. Childbirth is the greatest joy in a marriage, but rearing children is an onerous task. It’s a bag of mixed feelings. Problems are an
intricate part of parenting and solving these problems is HAPPINESS.

Teenage is the time a child begins to think like an adult. A young adult minus the experience. And the toughest time for a parent. No matter how smart, educated or a high profile parent you may be, this is one job you do best, yet believe it could have been done better.

A great deal of understanding and strategic planning goes into rearing a child. The job is difficult and time consuming. Teenage is a difficult period, and the parent has to break the ice before the boat is rocked.

Are screaming, teasing, fighting, and hitting common problems among your siblings? Does your child refuse to wake up on time, dress slowly, is just in time for school, leave his room untidy? Are studies not as important to him? Or if they are does he have his own way of dealing with them, quite different from yours? Do you panic and enter a state of unrest you never dreamed of? Does your house ring with the following conversation as you say-

“Oh no, don't do that.”

“You have a problem with everything I do.”

Every suggestion, even the slightest difference of opinion is met with the same remark.


1. Keep Your Cool.

Arguments and confrontations are a normal part of teen parenting. Do not worry these are passing phases in every parent's life. But that never means one can ignore it. Neither can a parent hold an argument thinking the solution is at arm’s length. The child at this moment does not have the proper frame of mind to understand harsh realities of life a parent wishes to convey. Nor can he apply logic in the midst of an argument.

2. Do not panic.

Your child is not different from others. Arguments and confrontations are a normal part of teen parenting .The root cause of such problems is a child thinks and understands at a very different level from the parent.


3. Forgive and Forget

One of the first attributes a parent requires is to forgive and forget as soon as possible. No bad feelings, no derogatory remarks, not even later. There isn't a slim chance such words could
ever produce the desired effect. On the other hand, any negative remark about the child as a person , could be ingrained in his opinion of himself for a lifetime. Such words irrational and meaningless break down your child. Never ever criticize a child as a person. Your child has a giant ego. It's the action that is displeasing. So always reprimand him for the action.

4. Just move on:-

In the middle of a disagreement or a loud argument do not preach pragmatism or the difference between right and wrong. Just leave the point of argument physically and mentally. Reformat your state of mind, let peace prevail. Both of you need some time. When sanity returns (such incidents drive both of you insane) each one knows exactly what is right and wrong. If a discussion
ensues on the same ground, chances are far brighter it is a logical one. And very often the child openly or indirectly will convey to you he was wrong. But if you feel you were wrong, do not refrain from apologizing. Your relationship with the child will only change for the better and his confidence will boost up. A confident child is every parent's dream.

5. Shift the focus and earn his respect.

When an argument escalates, it is the normal tendency of a parent to focus on his failures, point out on the child's misgivings. The past is ushered in, and the child blamed. It is vital that instead of focusing on the child's incapacity, focus on his achievements. When a child falters, he needs you to wipe his tears. Is he expecting too much of a parent? The last thing he needs is some blame or fault finding. His self confidence is at its lowest, and now is the time to stand firmly behind him, support him. He will respect you tremendously for it.

6. Acknowledge him.
Reward him for good behaviour. Acknowledge his achievements in words and actions. Never run out of praise when he deserves it. An appreciative smile, an affectionate pat, simple word such as, ‘Great! , Well done’, ‘You have done us proud’; can work wonders. Even dance if you can. The child will definitely love to see a repeat performance. It is every child's wish to please his parents. Parents love praise too, why wouldn't a child? A child who thrives on praise is always self confident.


7. Accept him.
That's the greatest tool in dealing with a child. His impatience, rebuttal, immaturity, short span of concentration, love for life, easy going attitude, enthusiasm for the smallest of pleasures are possible when he has your protection. As he grows, responsibility will loom so large, he may forget to laugh. So, respect him and let him be, as long as he is on the right path in the larger
role of life.

Rejoice for a bud has little time before it is a full grown rose.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)