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Future Letter to My Daughter

Updated on February 27, 2012

In my adolescent psychology class my instructor had an assignment that required us to write up a paper on how we would address a letter to our child that we would not see in say a 10 year timespan. At the time my child was suppose to be eight years old, I was going away for an extended business trip but wanted to leave behind a letter that provided answers and some guidance as far as body and sprititual development.

Hey Sunshine, you know how much mama loves you and how much happiness you bring to mines and your daddy’s life. We are proud of you every day. While I’m away I will miss you dearly and know how growing older for you is confusing at times. Your thinking and body will be changing in way you don’t get but know that is a part of life and me, your dad, and granny all went through it. Yes, I know ugh, but it’s true. As you always have listened to my teachings, I’m leaving you with these experiences you will surely have and changes you will go through and most importantly ways to remain strong and good-hearted in it all, as your own person that has goals and wants to gain the most potential in her life. As a 15-yr old, you will have weird feelings, emotions, thoughts, or urges.

I know your trying to establish yourself as an individual as a part separate from your father and me. With this come responsibilities, faith in God, and growth. You are starting to feel like you want to learn about sexuality. Discovering yourself as a female is a part of life but do not confuse sex with sexuality. Sex is an act that only two married adults have, it is meant to be valued just as high as your life. Sexuality is discovering you’re a female being and what your body is capable of so to become secure in your self-image and self-esteem. You are a beautiful young woman that will attract boys as well as you will be attracted to them, but that does not involve giving your body to him. That does not entitle him to your body, even when there may be strong feelings between you two. “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body (ESV) 1Corinthians 6:18.”

It is your responsibility to obey what the Bible says about giving of our body outside of marriage. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,” (ESV) 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. Enjoy learning to know what this person is about and where their heart is truly. You know that it is a fact that females are more intuitive than males, meaning that females can sense emotions in their environments or sense that someone or something is bad or unsafe. Trust that this is the Lord Jesus Christ speaking to you.

You’ve been talking to me and your dad about becoming a volunteer through the Beauty Within Foster care Center. I am giving you the ok and words of advice, if this is your passion in life, to help brighten trouble kids lives then you should look into college majors that can allow you to get into a career that works with youth. There are so many career positions you will be able to choose from, but always remember to choose a career path that find passion and love doing and not how much money you can make.

When you’re eighteen and off to college, like many of your friends you will still be discovering where you want to go in your career and life, you may want to give up when times get rough, or when committing to something is difficult know that your hard work, dedication, and ambition will be rewarded in the end with many blessings and a stronger person within. What more can you ask for, rewards from the Lord for staying committed through hard times and staying disciplined. Did you know it is a fact that “Taking responsibility for oneself is likely an important marker of adult status for many individuals (Santrock 2010, p. 21). “More than 70% of college students said that being an adult means accepting responsibility for consequences of one’s actions (Santrock 2010, p.21). Along with all I’m telling you I want you to be aware of your body too, health wise and take care of it like you love it. Continuing your gynecological visits and breast self-exams are important and should be described to you by your gynecological doctor, along with papers with diagrams. Most of the time you will learn what is normal for your body but pay attention to it, don’t be afraid to stand in the mirror nude and look at yourself, and your beauty.

Love you XOXOXO

The most important aspect I wanted to convey is how there are a combination of things that she will experience and how keeping God when making decisions and gaining inner strength is crucial for maintaining peace and security. I feel it is very important to be a Christian and follow God’s law in order to gain wisdom, stronger faith, and the power to stand on one’s own, especially during the rough times. I focused more on the transition from childhood. Emphasizing on identity exploration, health, well-being, and career path along with responsibilities that come with being a college student and adult. This exercise was interesting to do and has always been something I orchestrated in my mind a few times, in preparation of becoming a parent one day. I feel it helps when you have thought of ways you can and will communicate things to and with your child (ren).

Have you ever..

Have you ever had to go on an extended trip away from your children and wished you would have left them some words of yours to live by?

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The letter gave me the opportunity to extend my experience and personal knowledge to my child. It gave me the chance to provide her some insight as to some things that will come along with becoming an adult. I provided her some guidelines to live by while trying to inspire her to be her own person. My greatest fear while writing this letter was that I would leave something important out, or that my words did not get through to her, were ignored or not taken as serious as I stated. The most important things I would like my child to gain from this letter is that God’s law stays most high in her life. The developmental area I hope is improved is growth, since development describes “...most development involves growth and includes decay (Santrock, p.15)”.


Santrock, J. W. (2010). Adolescence. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.


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