- Family and Parenting»
- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Golden Rules of Our Father
The Holy Bible
The Original Source
A long, long time ago, in the land where oppression was dominant, words describing how to prevent suffering or pain to be caused to you were uttered. Imagine if you live in the time when society considers a stranger to be mistreated, and by accident you landed on their territory, and instead of helping you find your way back home, you were forced to work on something you have no idea of, without compensation, with less rest and just one meal a day?
That was in Egypt, thousand of years before Christ, a period described in Exodus of the Holy Bible when Israelites were freed from a life in bondage: "Do not oppress a foreigner; you yourselves know how it feels to be foreigners, because you were foreigners in Egypt." (New International Version 2011).
Understanding its context, a foreigner means any person of whatever gender, race, age, religion or simply somebody who is not a member of your family. As Confucius later said found in his Analects: "Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you" ...not just to foreigners but even to your relatives, friends and neighbors.
We are also bound by these saying as we are educated by our parents not to hurt other people especially our siblings, by our school mentors not to bully classmates, and by the Holy Bible through Christ's parable of the Good Samaritan and in his teaching mentioned at Matthew 7:12: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (New International Version 2011).
The Golden Rule Effect
Simply put, the Golden Rule speaks of "karma". If you do not want to be humiliated or be trampled upon, then avoid gestures or words that degrade somebody else publicly. Otherwise, you may experience more tragic events in the future. And that is bad karma. If you extend a helping hand to those in need, somebody else will reciprocate what you sow. And that is good karma.
Although the Golden Rule was sourced out from the Holy Bible it does not apply to Christians alone but to all people in the world-irregardless of race and religion-including toddlers who can already comprehend what hurt and pain mean. But just to pass on this Golden Rule from one generation to another is insufficient. As population increases everyday, the society needs specific decrees that will protect the constituents from their rights and from oppression.
So to provide concrete guidelines to safeguard the weak against uncontrollable people and other forces, governments issued laws penalizing perpetrators. In general, government leaders are mandated to oversee the welfare of the society, to defend their domain, and to protect their rights.
On the other hand, members of the society are members of a smaller group of institution known as family. While government leaders may be a president or prime minister, the head of the family is a father. The fundamental role of the father is to exercise diligence in taking good care of the family. Not only to provide food, shelter, clothing, medicine, and education but also guidance on how the family should co-exist with each other and how to interact with the world outside their sanctuary.
If governments implemented laws and decrees as guidelines for citizens, our fathers issue house rules that must be strictly observed. And as we go along the process, living our lives with those set of rules which at first we thought of as "martial laws", we later realize that our fathers intended to train us the way we should go, that even after their time and as we raise our own family, we shall never depart from those rules as it becomes their Golden Rules.
A Daddy Scolding His Son?
A Father's Golden Rules
These golden rules may not be written unlike the golden rule in the scriptures. These rules may just be explained bit-by-bit or every time you go outside the course. But one thing is for sure: you will remember them word-for-word and you will speak of them the same way as you pass it on to your offspring or children.
- "HATING-KAPATID", a vernacular term for equal sharing among siblings. A rule more specifically used in dividing food specially with meager provisions. That no matter how small the size of the food is, and no matter how many you are in the household, each should have a fair share. Do not reason out hunger so you should have more, for if your portion did not satisfy your cravings, how much more the one who did not even had a bite? This system is applicable to low-income earners with family members of more than five.
- DIVIDED-BY. If food is divided equally among the members, household chores must be distributed depending on your age and the capacity of your physical strength. No one should be treated as royalty because there is no housemaid available as funds are very limited. If you skip your turn, you will suffer the consequence. Even if a housemaid is available, you will still be assigned a little task. You are not entitled to waive any assignments because you miss the chance of knowing how to do something worthwhile. You are not allowed to play outdoors either until you have done your part. Otherwise, you will suffer the consequence again, be grounded for several days and will be given more tasks.
- SAFETY FIRST. Make sure all doors and windows are locked anytime especially when you're home alone and before going to sleep. You are not allowed to hang-out with friends or entertain suitors anywhere else. It is better if they just visit you at the house, your parents will know who your friends and suitors are. You must be home immediately if you left for an errand or attended school activities. Never stay out of the house at nightfall. If going for a party, specify the name, address and contact number of the host, and your company. But approval still depends on the location and purpose of the event. Never hold grudge against your father if he disapproved. If your mother knows best, your father knows better than best.
- BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. Love your siblings more than any other person but never take sides just because your brother gives you more favor than your sister. Be just in case of conflicts between the members. But against outside forces, always defend your siblings. Bear in mind that if you would not care for your family nobody else will. And no matter what happens, your family will always be there.
- CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME. Whatever blessings you received through your own effort or from outside sources, share it first with your family before you donate to others. This rule is to support that blood is really thicker than water. Besides,it is not good to see other people benefit from your riches while your siblings are uncomfortable in their present situation.
- LOYALTY AT WORK. Avoid job-hopping if possible. So what if you are offered a better-paying job by other companies? If you love your present calling with a competitive salary in an environment-friendly place which also has a lot of rooms for improvement, have a second-thought. Being loyal means showing gratitude to the management who accepted you even if you are inexperienced and allowed you to mature and show-off your hidden skills.
- BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If you look for work in a government office, never ever solicit endorsements from political figures. As long as you are equipped with qualifications that nobody else could take away from you, do not allow yourself be identified with unscrupulous people. Strive hard to find the right place where your credentials speak for itself and not who you know why you were hired. And once you climb up higher on the success ladder because of your perseverance and hard work, no one else could contest why you are on that position.
A How-to Session With a Father
Pass It On
Those were the golden rules my father imparted to us decades ago. The first one is my favorite as I now have my own children who are still on the stage of being selfish and self-centered. It is the only rule I am adopting as my husband has his own set of rules which he is passing on to our children. As the light of the house, my fundamental role is to help take care of my family's need provided by the pillar of our home. If I am a mother who knows best, my husband is the father who knows better than I.