Ever lose a sock, your keys, money, or…? The list could be seemingly endless of things we’ve lost. What if we lost a child; if even only for a moment? Perhaps we lost someone special, maybe not through death, but through drugs or alcohol, or possibly a mental illness.
Now about that sock, in light of other losses it seems laughable losing that sock, it might even come back. What can we do, when our loss seems overwhelming, we may become very angry and short of temper. Who do we focus, or what do we focus that anger, which is grief, upon? If you are at that point right now, you need a release to do just that. Now, we have to do this as part of grieving and for how long? As long as we need, we’ll know when that focus has shifted to the next step, sorrow. This is the time we need special friends, whether they be family or almost. They will be the ones we didn’t chase away with our anger; they will be there through the storm.
That last step is acceptance, not living a life of remorse or blame/guilt, just acceptance, we ourselves are entitled to continue living and living does not live in fear or regret. Need to scream, throw things or move? O.K., just don’t stop living, giving up your own life for the loss you’ve incurred is not going to change things. Time will soften the sting, but it will not eliminate our memories and those memories, if we must remember any with frequency should be filled with life, not death.
Oh my where is my life headed? I don’t feel whole or capable of being without them. Where do you think they are? If they’re not with you in thought, then you have lost them, now we need to search. We need to search for something else that may be missing, not the past, we need to find our future. We need to gain our own voices, start slowly by exploring what you need now, a trip away perhaps, just a chance to examine ourselves without distraction, in a worry free environment. Take some time and don’t rush or jump towards any action in a hurried pace, unless you are in control of your emotions and/or in the care of family/friends.
The only thing you can change in this present time is yourself, these next words are not my own and my hope is they offer you some relief;
The Full Original Copy of the Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
There is one more missing piece to this and that is a relationship with someone who will always be there, you may already know of whom I’m speaking of. Some would blame Him, or even His Father for their loss, they will also sink deeper into bitterness and from that point on, they themselves will be dead.
The One I speak of is Christ, He is our strength, He will comfort us, we only need to build a relationship with Him. Want to live a fuller life and with no regret? Take the time to discover who Jesus was, why He came and why He died. Relationship for the future; your future is here before you, discover what is missing in a life with little or no knowledge of His saving grace.
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