- Family and Parenting
Pregnant and in College
"I need to talk to you, Mom, it's important." I had already spoken to her roommate and she had asked me if my daughter had told me that she was pregnant so I already knew what she wanted to talk to me about. I had so reluctantly let her go away to college for, like many parents, it was the fear of the unknown. She was now 22 years old, so going away to finish her last year in college could not be so bad, she was old enough to go away and be on her own, or was she?
As I wondered about what I should say and how I should say it, I recall that I waited for that moment quite reluctantly. Since I was alerted to the fact, I had a chance to think things through. I was going to be the caring and nurturing parent and I was going to be supportive of whatever decision my daughter made. I could not help but let things run wild in my mind. It was my daughter's dreams that would have to be put on hold. She had always been so outgoing and so popular in the social realm. What was going to happen to all her future plans? Her goal had always been to leave her mark in the entertainment world. What now?
The Wedding then the Baby
Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she struggled to tell me what I already knew. I studied her every move and I could see how hard it was for her to humble herself and say, "Mom, I am pregnant." The only words that came out of my mouth were, "What do you want to do?" My heart went out to her in that one moment as if hanging on to every detail and every sound as she leaned forward to make herself comfortable on the car seat and she answered, "Mom, I want to have this baby."
We arranged a beautiful family wedding in Monterrey, Mexico. My daughter looked so elegant and so radiant in a golden pleated dress. She was six months pregnant, but who cared? She was so happy and in love. The whole family was there. She even took the microphone and sang along with the band one of Shakira's songs. Everything was so perfect.
The baby came in early November. I offered to stay with the young couple, like most moms do, to help out at the hospital and at their apartment. I could sense the joy they felt because of the baby. My daughter took such good care of her new baby. Her husband was so excited. He was a new daddy. They both seemed to have things under control. They lived in a small apartment and soon enough moved to a bigger one to accommodate the coming of the baby. They looked so much in love.
She Will Always Love Me
I look at my beautiful grand-daughter. She looks so much like my daughter at her age. I see how wonderful, kind and sensitive she is. She's now three years old so she understands a lot of things. Circumstances have not been so kind to both my daughter and her sweet little girl for the young man my daughter married and who we learned to love and appreciate, high-tailed it to Mexico and has not returned. Today my grand-daughter asked me with deep concern, "What happened to my father, Grandma?" I was short for words and the only thing I could say was that he got sick and will be back soon.
He left over seven months ago to take care of a hernia and even had surgery, but has not come back since. I see how my daughter struggles. I have seen how she has cried over this situation. As a parent, I can only offer my support by listening to her and offering whatever assistance she and her daughter might need. My husband and I try to help her as much as we can. She has had to support her little girl and her man may never return. Thing is, she has already stopped crying.
It was a love story that was short-lived. I guess we will never really know what happened. "He changed his status to single on Facebook, Mom." How we wish as parents to shield our children from the heartaches of a failed marriage for to us they will always be our little girl or our little boy no matter how old they are.
Now, the healing process has begun and plans no longer include him. He is mentioned less and less now. Just a couple of days ago she said, "You know, Mom, the best thing is that I will always have my little girl and she will always love me no matter what."
I thank God every day for my little grand-daughter. So if ever your daughter tells you she is pregnant and she is not yet wed; be her rock, her friend, her support system. Be there no matter what. She is still your little girl and none of us are perfect. Give sound advice and NEVER opt to end a life (abortion). Thank you for reading my hub.