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Grandma? Nah!

Updated on April 5, 2012

I am married to a wonderful man who has three children and I have two of my own. Children, you ask? Grown adults, I say. His girls have children, and that makes me a surrogate granny of sorts, but my own children do not have any, and that is just fine with me.

I am too young to be a granny! I am only in my late 50's and just barely stopped parenting my own kids in 2002. I enjoy the luxury and freedom of being carefree and kid free at my age. While I know many people who are busily babysitting their grandkids, I never had the interest in raising anyone else's kids, even for a short stint. Kids annoy me and make me tired.

I suppose if my own children ever decide to grace me with a grandchild, I will take to the idea a bit more, but if they don't have any, it is fine with me. Our world is a mess, and adding more people to it is not a good idea. When I see the things children are taught to "fear" in the world, it makes me happy I do not have to worry over another child being frightened, shot at, or molested by some pervert who masquerades as a relative. I probably would not have had any kids myself had I thought it all out before having them. But I do not regret having my children and they are admirable specimens of kind and loving individuals.

I suppose this sounds rather curmudgeonly, but honestly, I believe if people want to have kids, it is their prerogative, just leave me out of it. I am not interested in babysitting them, listening to them whine or scream, as little girls are so often bent on doing. Little boys can be less whiny, but if they are holy terrors and do not listen to guidance, it can be loathsome as well.

I do not get the opportunity to see my husbands grandchildren as they live far away. I care very much that they are healthy and happy children and enjoy doing shopping when the holidays or birthdays come around. I will never be that Grandmother who has a license plate that says "I am so and so's grandmother" on it. I never had a grandmother and my mother was the quintessential grandma to my kids, even though she only was alive for a portion of their childhood. She relished time with them, but taught me that she had already done her fair share of taking care of kids, so it would be limited. I cannot understand anyone who will not move away from their grandkids and invest in their own lives while they are relatively young. Yes, it is nice to see them, but one does not live forever and it is important to allow for your own kids to experience parenting without your over-doting hovering.

This post is laden with sarcasm but also sage advice.Living your life vicariously though anyone is not an ideal existence. Kahil Gibran told us we need to have "Spaces" in our relationships. A time may come when I will be eating my words, and that is okay with me if that happens. Until that time I know at least 6-7 other women who are not crazy to become the almighty grandma either and are happy with their lives as they are at the current time. They are not awaiting the day when a new little life depends on them to sing them a lullaby. These women are the shakers and movers the rockers and the rollers, content on living the lives they have manifested and happy to see that other women can take up the slack as being the perfect grandma material to our youth.

I know....I am strange. But I love me.


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    • Aley Martin profile imageAUTHOR

      Alice Lee Martin 

      6 years ago from Sumner, Washington,USA

      I see you have written a book! Wonderful!

    • Aley Martin profile imageAUTHOR

      Alice Lee Martin 

      6 years ago from Sumner, Washington,USA

      thanks and congratulations on your impending "grandma" status! this Hub is laden with sarcasm, as I am 57, and of course am "old enough"...and of course, I have many friends who I know LOVE being with and taking care of their grandchildren. I applaud them as it is all individual. Am happy to know that someone else admits some of the things I am I was thinking I might be criticized for voicing my feelings on this! viva la difference!

    • greatparenting profile image


      6 years ago from philadelphia, pa and corolla, nc

      I totally get you. My oldest daughter is about to have her first child -- our first grandchild. And, I am thrilled but it's about being thrilled for her, not for me. While I'm happy to be a grandma (although I can't believe I'm old enough and yes, I'm 59 so I am old enough!) I didn't think my life was incomplete without this. And, while I'll love the kid and be happy to spend time with him, just as I did with my own kids, I fully intend to NOT let my whole life revolve around him. As parents, we must work hard to maintain the integrity of our own lives, not just our lives as parents. As grandparents, I see it the same way. Nice hub.


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