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Having a man who lives in another country and trying to make it work as best you can

Updated on February 24, 2016

I swore I would never date long distance let alone in another counrty

I was married a long time. This was not the best of relationships. As a young woman I found that there, to me was no point in looking for someone that was to far to be with me. Now that I am away from my X and starting to live my life. I still swore that I would never do long distance. Well that went to the garbage fast.

Not only am I dating someone who lives far (to me 9 hrs is far), but he lives in another country. Now I know that out there in the world that is ours, that there are people in relationships that are much further and harder to keep. Some people have not only made it work but they are thriving. I find that interesting. How do they make it work? DO they see each? I mean do they have kids and if so how can they stand to be away form them? I have 2 kids, i miss them when I come to see my man. They are not his and yet he has made time to spend time with them. He makes Skype dates with my youngest and helps with homework. I come to see him and I am so relaxed and care free... not including missing my kids.

Back to my point.. I don't know how to deal with missing him. There is a huge trust thing too. I mean come on, your not around them... but then again.. you can be in a married relationship where the person is around all the time and be oblivious to cheating. I really like this guy, he is so sweet and treats me better than anyone has ever in my life. I trust him. I know he has been hurt and all that good stuff.. but and there always seems to be a but.... he is 11 years younger than I am but seems to have more insight than most my age or older. So why am I so scared?

I remember that this is still new and things have to happen naturally. I refuse to force things and I know I can be pushy. My brain works in overtime and goes through all the things that could happen. In doing this, I have gone over the fact that I can not move to where he lives because my kids are young and their father will not let that happen with out a major drama situation. Then again, how would he come here? I mean he would need a sponsor and all that lovely stuff... Does he even wanna come here? see my brain goes over all this stuff and I end up with hives and a bad belly.

In this situation I feel out of control and lost. Two things I am not used to and I don't like not being able to have some control. I know it bothers him that I really do not know how to relax. I am a high stress person who has adhd and social anxiety, along with depression and chronic pain. I am a hot mess before I even think of the mess.... I am so lost in my life and I have this guy.... this man that makes me wanna be me and do things that make me happy. He makes me happy and I have never felt more alive. So why am I always so on the edge of everything?

No one is reading my blogs. I have not told anyone that I write my thoughts here. I am doing this to try and make me feel better. I really do not care if people read comment or what ever.

I just need somewhere to let out my rambles. I ramble a lot and go on about things that seem important to me. all my blogs are all over the place, like my brain. Thought process for me is and has been difficult.

Driving 8 hours to see the person you are or have fallen for is worth the heart ache when you have to leave, it is the in between times that are hard. When do we get to see each other again. Seems so far he traveled to see me once, I have now been to see him 2 times, I have made sacrifices and I wont tell him that. I don't know if he would come to see me. I hate thinking that. It is not fair of me to put that on him....

Well I think it is almost time for me to enjoy being here with him. I have 6 more full days to be with him. he only works sat 5 hrs, Monday all day and 5 hrs Thursday. I leave Friday..

I guess there will be more to come....

have a good one !

Traveling smart or Travel you?

So here I was going to see him in his home town for the first time and being me had to gp through 3 suitcases to make sure I brought everything I was not going to need for this trip and feel like I needed everything I was bringing. I ended up with the biggest one and could hardly lift the thing. I lost my house keys in the snow as I was leaving for the airport, in which I chose to head over the boarder to get where I wanted to go. Thinking this was a good idea I had asked my cousin who lives with me to drive me, she assured me that she could do this with out there being any inconvenience. As it turned out she made plans to go away and this, meaning my trip that I had paid for already caused so much drama and got me out sorts, causing her to have anxiety of her own and get lost and oh gosh so much for one day. I was determined to make this trip worth everything to me.

Questioning what I was doing at every point. Thinking I an do this! Laughing at myself the entire process. I over think over do and put pressure where it is not needed. Mind you everyone in my life excluding very few (like maybe 3 people in total) thinks, acts and reacts as I do.

Any way... what I learned was pack smarter woman! What the hell do you think is going to magically happen when you get there? I mean really! Neither of you are the get all dressed up and go somewhere fancy kind. Bring what is comfortable and maybe a nice top or something... No need to go over board, just be practical. I am so laughing right now because anyone who knows me, knows that I am anything but. I pack things I think I will need or use and never need or use about 80% of it. I am an over thinker, therefore I am an over packer and over everythinger!

I get to where I am going and relax. Then it dawns on me that dang, brought too much crap for such a little time and what the hell were you thinking in the first place? You can not even lift this on a good day.... But on the plus side you have a stock pile of clean stuff for when you get home and hey, you are living out of the suitcase now what is a little bit longer gonna do.

Yes, I am they type that overdoes a lot in my life, but in the end I really do have the best of intentions and I think that my fantasy thoughts are just as important to me to travel ( even though, I know that there is NO possibility of what goes on in my head ever happening, I mean really, half the plans that are made before I get there are ever really done, so come on be more realistic )

there are great ways to pack for anything you are going tot do think you are going to do and what your really going to do and this is possible I will include a link to prove that it is!

just because i am horrible at doing this traveling thing, my end result is always the same. I have a blast and enjoy what ever happens. I think making the best outta everything is important. You can never plan for everything and that is part of the excitement of going anywhere. Weather you are traveling for you alone or with your family or even just you and the kids. You will either never bring enough of what you need or have too much of everything (especially the stuff you do not need). Just go and enjoy whatever it is you chose to do .

This is what I imagine I look like packing

I imagine this to be me packing to go away anywhere
I imagine this to be me packing to go away anywhere | Source

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