- Family and Parenting
Hey Girls! Be Smart, Not Stupid! - Hub 10 - Back to the Subject of Boys
The content of this chaptered article of information is intended to enlighten and encourage young girls by promoting mentally and emotionally healthy attitudes in preparation for adulthood.
The content is written for general knowledge and is not meant to replace or supercede parental or professional guidance.
Any words you read that you don’t understand…look them up in the dictionary! It will help expand your vocabulary. Oh, and when you are finished... read it all over again!
article is broken into hub chapters to make for an easier and more
interesting reading experience. It's best to start at Hub 1 - Introduction and proceed to the next hub chapter by clicking the link at the end of each section. __________________________
Back to the Subject of Boys
Now that you have learned what it will take for you to become a strong young woman, you should be able to see how the stuff you just read relates to your relationship with boys. This is serious. You must feel the love for yourself before you can expect to get it right from a boyfriend (and later a husband). Having a ‘boyfriend’ should not even be a part of your life until you are at least 15 years old. And this age is used as a minimum…most girls are not really ready by 15. If your parents have told you a later age for when you may start dating…well good for them! That’s even better! Parents should be able to judge your maturity level to determine how ready you are to date. And you must follow your parent’s rules, doing so saves fighting and stressing out your parents. Because as hard as it is for teenagers to understand, the facts are that your parents have given you life and they maintain your life and they must be respected for that.
So if 15 is OK with your parents, then fine, if not then you go by what they say! Nevertheless, if you don’t have your self-esteem, self-worth and self respect intact you won’t be ready at any age.
So you’ll have school buddies who will be cute and may make you start thinking more about having a boyfriend. But leave it at just being friends, because you have your school work and other activities, and being responsible at home to concentrate on. Young girls are silly these days to get wrapped up in trying to grow up too fast. Like it has been mentioned, time really does pass quickly and you need to remember that you have much more time to live as an adult than you do as a child! You don’t want to live to regret getting too serious about boys at an early age.
There is another important thing to discuss here, and that is your REPUTATION! Having a lack of self-respect will no doubt have you doing things that will hurt you in the long run. Doing bad things, things that may become public knowledge, could make you a target for gossip and rumors. And whether these things are true or not, people will talk about you, they will ‘give you a name’. Nasty boys will tell their buddies terrible things about you and no matter how hard you argue that these things aren’t true…it will be too late…the damage will already have been done. And a bad reputation can follow you like a black cloud the rest of your life. Because some ignorant people have nothing better to do but gossip and talk about others.
So when you do start being interested in boys (at no earlier than 15 years old), never rush into a relationship. Take time to get to know him before you think you want to be serious. Use the information mentioned in the FRIENDS section of this booklet to apply to picking boy friends, too. Don’t be desperate in any kind of way…you could set yourself up to be used and abused. A guy who doesn’t have his own self-esteem, self-worth and self- respect intact won’t be able to treat you well. If you see signs that he is unstable…get away from him. If he is too immature…get away from him. You will deserve to be treated like a young lady. Don’t feel desperate enough to settle for a guy just because he says he likes you and you think he’s the only one who ever will. Don’t overlook any signs that a guy won’t respect you…for example: if he talks mean, uses foul language, doesn’t care how you feel, hurts your feelings, hits you, uses drugs or drinks alcohol, isn’t clean, doesn’t brush his teeth, stinks, is stupid, failing school, finds fault in others, blames others for his own shortcomings, or isn’t thinking about his future…he has serious issues. And watch if a guy has a way of saying he’s sorry for upsetting or hurting you but continues to find ways to upset and hurt you and keeps playing the “I’m sorry” game. Save yourself...and get away from him!
Please consider that the most hurt you may ever feel could be a broken heart…or worse, a broken head! A broken heart is something most of us do experience in our lives, and we learn to get over it. But it is harder to recover from the emotional trauma of being physically abused…save yourself and get away from anyone you cannot trust to keep you safe. And hey, you will have time to meet someone else later! Relax and keep yourself busy with non-boyfriend related activities. Your self-worth and self-respect will help you to realize that you can do better, just be patient!! And do yourself a big favor by not jumping from one relationship into another one. Take time to think about the problems you had with your previous relationship, settle in your mind what you need to do to avoid making the same types of choices that led you to the last loser. Get smarter! And don’t ever be afraid to be alone. That is the major reason you want to grow up to be an independent adult, so you won’t have to rely on someone else for emotional or financial support.
More about Self Respect
Your self-respect will also help you to carry yourself in a manner to avoid attracting shady characters and keep you out of danger. For example: don’t dress and act like a ‘hoochie’ if you don’t want to be treated like one. Don’t wear clothes if they don’t fit you right…if you happen to be overweight don’t try to wear belly shirts and low-rise jeans…don’t try to wear shorts that have your butt cheeks showing…don’t try to wear a bustier if you have flab spilling out all over…don’t wear fake hair that doesn’t match your own or isn’t combed…don’t wear sandals if your toenails aren’t trimmed ...don’t apply makeup like it’s Halloween! Are you getting the drift? There are many of the current fashions that can be worn in a manner to accommodate the less than perfect figures. When you get dressed and look in the mirror be honest with yourself about what you see! Hopefully you are seeing someone who doesn’t look wretched.
You also show how much you respect yourself when you don’t talk trash or come off as a degenerate by using foul language and fighting. Shady guys like girls who look and act dumb so they can take advantage of them. And don’t forget about your reputation, you don’t want to be thought of as a nasty girl who looks and acts stupid!
There is nothing wrong with being a straight up type of person. That’s what this country needs more of to stay strong.
Girls, please note that this discussion about boys wasn’t meant as male-bashing. It was to help you to be stronger and wiser regarding the choices you make. For too long now males have generally had their way with females. If females can learn to be more self-sufficient the males will have to learn to be more considerate of our needs. Males will learn that they must address their own issues with self-worth, self-esteem, self respect, and self-sufficiency in order to deserve consideration from females. The longer we keep allowing males to act stupid the longer we have to deal with it. The next booklet will be for the boys because the same idea applies for them as it does to you girls…educate them while they’re young!