- Family and Parenting
Hey Girls! Be Smart, Not Stupid! - Hub 2 - Who Are You?
The content of this chaptered article of information is intended to enlighten and encourage young girls by promoting mentally and emotionally healthy attitudes in preparation for adulthood.
The content is written for general knowledge and is not meant to replace or supercede parental or professional guidance.
Any words you read that you don’t understand…look them up in the dictionary! It will help expand your vocabulary. Oh, and when you are finished... read it all over again!
The entire article is broken into hub chapters to make for an easier and more interesting reading experience. It's best to start at Hub 1 - Introduction and proceed to the next hub chapter by clicking the link at the end of each section.
Hey Girls! Hub 2
Who Are You?
OK, let’s start with you. Who are you right now?
If you are 12-14 years old this is the best time to start thinking about your future. If you are 15-17 you probably have some relearning to do to set yourself on a good life path. If you are 18 or older you may consider mentally backtracking yourself to a pre-teen age (at least to the point where you think you messed up) and follow these tips to try to give yourself a better insight to your future.
You must remember that if you WANT to succeed you WILL! The challenge is being determined that you don’t want to grow up to be a loser. You don’t want to make the mistake of believing that you or your situation is hopeless. Young people are too quick to think negative thoughts about their futures if their current lives aren’t perfect. This is why thinking about what you want is important. This is why planning is so important. This is why being determined and having faith is so important.
Girls, please note that you have many, many more years to live as an independent adult than you do as a child under your parents’ roof. Prepare yourself!
So again I ask, “Who are you right now?
Are you a brat? Are you a wee-whiner? Spoiled? Unhappy? Lazy? Do you insist that you have everything that other girls do or more than they do? Do you have friends? Are you shy? Are your grades good in school? Do you work? Do you go to church? Are you interested in boys? Are you overweight? Underweight? Do you dream of getting married and having your own children? Do you think about a career that would make you happy and allow you to make enough money to support your lifestyle?
Are you a Brat? Spoiled? Wee-whiner?
Self Test - Am I a brat?
I can fake a temper tantrum.-- yes no
I have real temper tantrums.-- yes no
I can make myself sick when I want to.-- yes no
I get what I want.-- yes no
I get what I want even when I know my parent(s) can’t afford it. -- yes no
I yell at my parents.-- yes no
I tell lies.-- yes no
I don’t clean my own room.-- yes no
I don’t wash my own clothes.-- yes no
I don’t wash the dishes.-- yes no
I can cry just to get my way.-- yes no
I know what it means to be humble. -- yes no
If you answered yes to any of these questions except the last one, chances are you are a brat. Listen, if you are a brat the games you play to get your way may be working for you now but the older you get the more likely those behaviors will hurt you more than help you. You will come to learn that people just don’t like brats. So work on improving yourself by turning those ‘yes’ answers above into ‘NOs’. If the questions above do not address your negative traits, then obviously you know what they are, make your own list. Use that list to help you recognize your issues that are holding you back from being a good kid. Learning to be independent as child will help you manage better as an adult.
Generally, parents are the main factor in promoting behaviors that turn kids into brats. Most of the time parents mean well, but are unable to foresee the character damage that occurs when they overindulge or inconsistently discipline their youngsters. (Yes, children definitely need disciplined) Parents may think they are showing love when giving in to a demanding child, but all they are really doing is promoting the bad behaviors. Or, parents’ own lack of patience and self-discipline make them weak to a demanding child and thus the ‘giving in’ promotes continued spoiled behaviors.
Make up your own mind that you do not want to be a brat. If you are serious about growing up to be a successful adult, recognize now that you are a brat and work on correcting those behaviors yourself. As mentioned, start simply by reversing the negative answers to the questionnaire above. That means stop doing the things that make you a brat! And seriously consider the fact that people, whether they are friends, teachers, preachers, bus drivers, or bosses, people just do not like brats. If you feel that you just don’t care what people think of you you’re in for a rude awakening! You will learn the hard way that it does matter what others think of you, especially the people who love you the most, and when you need help…and face facts - everybody needs help at some point in their lives. It is easier to get help if you are a sincere person!
Are You Unhappy?
If you think you are unhappy, how you feel is very important. Think about what it is that is making you feel unhappy. If you do not think that the previous section on spoiled brats applies to you…be honest… (don’t think you are unhappy just because you can’t always have your way)! Then it is more likely that your unhappiness is for real, not a put on. If things are bad at home, you must talk to someone about it. If you have had a disturbing experience, you must not keep it bottled up inside of you. If you feel threatened and are afraid to talk to anyone about whatever is bothering you, you must find help. Trying to be ‘brave’ and ‘sticking it out’ may very well work, but the odds are against you that you will grow up without problems relating to your past. This is the most important reason why you need to find help for your situation, to get things resolved before the psychological affects linger into adulthood. Find a trustworthy adult to help you, or ask for counselling. And also keep in mind that telling lies or making up stuff is really, really bad! Nobody benefits from false accusations; it’s always quite the contrary and causes more suffering especially for YOU!
Are You Lazy?
Do you keep your room clean? Do you help with chores around the house? Does your mother have to beg you to wash the dishes? Do you wash your own clothes?
By the time you are a teenager you should be doing all of these things and more. Well not all of it everyday, nobody should make you the maid! But doing your share around your home is only a fair expectation, especially taking care of your own stuff…like your room, your laundry, and pets. You should be doing these things because you want to be helpful, as well as responsible. Your parents are supporting you, giving you food, clothing and shelter…the least you could do is wash the dishes without crying about it.
Also, have you been too lazy to do your homework? Spending too much time playing on the computer, playing video games, watching TV, hanging out with friends, or talking on the phone? If your parents have set limits with these ‘luxuries’ – Good for them!! If they haven’t, well you can do the right thing and set your own limits…what a show of maturity that would be! You have to realize that you can’t spend all of your off-school hours doing fun things. You must set aside time to do your homework, study, do chores, and spend quality time with your family.
Please note that laziness can add on other problems, such as being overweight, or being boring because you haven’t bothered to learn anything in school or keep up on current events so you could at least have something intelligent to talk about to others. And also consider for your future that no husband wants a lazy wife!
So kicking the lazy habit starts now!