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How Do I Get Along With My Dysfunctional Family During The Holidays? (Emunah La-Paz Defines You)

Updated on November 30, 2016

Help! I'm Going Home For The Holidays!

Christmas wallpaper with candle
Christmas wallpaper with candle | Source

Help! I'm Going Home For The Holidays!

Moving to New York was the happiest day of my life. I had finally moved miles away from my dysfunctional family. But around this time of year, misery taunts me through the nagging thought of having to go home for the holidays.

My stomach churns every time I think about returning home. My family members should not be allowed to celebrate events that are meant to be joyous, simply because they are clueless when it comes to celebrating festive occasions. Every Holiday season, history repeats itself.

I’m from a small town that has a small airport with only one baggage carousel. I do not understand why my Uncle Fred, who has lived in this diminutive town for many years, cannot seem to locate the only airport in town. Nonetheless, my Uncle Fred eventually shows up ever holiday, looking like a drunken hillbilly from outer space, he picks me up in his idiotic huge lime-green truck, with the symbol of the mudflap girl blowing in the wind. This horrible form of transportation sputters and jerks all the way to my parent’s house.

You would think that my parents would be happy to see their only daughter, being that I only visit during the holidays. But no, my parents are too busy fighting over how to carve their overcooked- turkey.

My mother always greets me with her same old condescending grin, taking a brief moment to either ridicule my new haircut our outfit. My dad on the other hand, slaps me on the back as if I were one of his drinking buddies, then proceeds to argue with mom over their dim-witted turkey.

There is not one family member in which I desire to hang out with. My Cousin Elroy stutters to the extent of exhaustion when he speaks, seemingly on purpose to avoid having to engage in a normal conversation. And My Aunt Rita is a kleptomaniac, who was arrested last Christmas for stealing Uncle Fred’s Truck, so... this should tell you how screwed up she really is.

I can’t attend another Holiday with my dysfunctional family. I’m not sure I want to learn how to get along with those people. But I know that spending the Holidays with my family is the right thing to do. I’m seeking thoughtful advice. Ginger.

Going Home For The Holidays Makes Me Sad

Sad face By Peter Griffin.
Sad face By Peter Griffin. | Source

The Problem

Ginger I’m sorry to hear about your dysfunctional family. Your search for answers involving your fragile situation validates your desire for peace.

Ongoing research reveals that the problem rooted within dysfunctional families stems from a lack of happiness. Misery loves company. Therefore, the holidays could be a way in which your family chooses to release tension in a negative form of communication.

The problem with this form of communication is that dysfunctional families choose to act out negatively during a season created to promote peace. Serenity cannot survive in an environment ceased by pandemonium.

Don't Let Family Members Ruin You Joy!

A Christmas Ornament.
A Christmas Ornament. | Source

The Solution

Protect your happiness. If your family makes your stomach churn due to their dysfunctional behavior; avoid your Holiday visit. Consider spending the Holidays with a close friend, whose family could be worse off than your own dysfunctional family. Nonetheless, never sacrifice your happiness, not even for family. Stay away from your dysfunctional family until you can regain the happy mindset to tolerate their drama. However if there is an illness in your family during the holidays, you may want to visit out of respect for your loved one.

Your decision not go home for the Holidays could cause ill feelings among your family members. But they will get over it. In the future your family will respectively look forward to your Holiday visits. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

In the end, you are responsible for setting the tone for “your” peaceful Holiday, free from dysfunction.

Emunah La-Paz

Four Christmases Is A Great Dysfunctional Movie To Watch Over The Holidays!

The Dysfunctional Holiday Family Poll.

Do You Enjoy Spending The Holidays With Your Family?

See results

Family Values Are Hard To Come By

The Broken Family:

I can't tolerate trash talking and verbal abuse on any occasion.

Your dress it too short, I don't like this gift, constant complaining about another guest, vulgar jokes, I just can't handle it.

Common sense should reveal to negative family members that if they haven't seen a loved one in a long time that theyshould not complain or act out in a vulgar manner.

And apologies don't work if the same negative actions are repeated.

How can a daughter make peace with her mother when all the mother does is complain, nag, taunt, and gossip?

How can a son make peace with his father when all the father does is ridicule, curse, and drink?

In the following video, I have observed that the young man's parents are still together and that his mother and father, reflect respectful faithful values, that many families lack.

Statistics reveal that 'Growing up outside an intact marriage increases the chance that children themselves will divorce or become unwed parents. ("26 Conclusions..." and "Marriage and the Public Good...") * Children of divorce experience lasting tension as a result of the increasing differences in their parents' values and ideas.

At a young age they must make mature decisions regarding their beliefs and values. Children of so called "good divorces" fared worse emotionally than children who grew up in an unhappy but "low-conflict’ “marriage. ("Ten Findings from a National Study on the Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce," Elizabeth Marquardt.

( Humerous Flick) A Family That Genuinely Prays Together Stays Together


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    • Leslie Ramos profile image

      Leslie Ramos 4 years ago from Denver, Colorado

      Great article! I agree and we should be entitled to spend our holidays as we wish, limiting the drama!