ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Get Rid Of Your Teenage Daughters Revolting Boyfriend!

Updated on October 5, 2012

First Love!

You have brought your daughter up to be respectful clean and a hard worker. Then something turns the switch and overnight she turns into the daughter from hell! Why?

First Love.

At a certain age, usually around sixteen or seventeen, the girl who called you mommy, took the pet dog for a walk and was always polite suddenly becomes sullen, miserable and just downright tacky.

Now you know there must be something behind this. And guess what? Its usually a boyfriend. So what's making her turn into Cruella Deville? Well, he is. She has started dating and there's nothing you can do about it. But does she choose a good looking nice guy? No.

The boyfriend who your daughter loves with so much teen passion, is in fact a dweeb. And a not very nice one at that.

Sid Snot character by Kenny Everett

Sid Snot!

We have all been there. For some reason only known to teenage girls, our hormones decide to go into overdrive when we spot the most revolting guy out there, who thinks he is really cool.

You know the sort. Leather jacket, punk hair and of course the proverbial cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. His spots glow brightly on his shiny face, and his breath smells like something you wouldn't even flush down the pan.

But your daughter loves him. Ye Gods! Did we do that? Yep sure did! But if only we knew how stupid it was back then.

They say youth is wasted on the young. And how right that saying is. In England the dweebs come in a rather strange package.

The teen boys wear trousers hanging down their posterior so that we can see their lovely boxer shorts, trainers too big for them, and a cap usually placed sideways on their heads.

Yes they look like a demented three year old just escaped from kindergarten! We call them Chavs!

But whether they wear the leather jacket, or baggy pants that hang under their ass, they all have one thing in common. They are revolting! Just like the comedian from the seventies Kenny Everitt, they look like Sid Snot. So what can we do about it? Well quite a lot in fact!

Boyfriend Material? Nah!

Its sorta like a chav innit?
Its sorta like a chav innit?

Do's And Don'ts!

Now before you decide to sling them both out on their ears, think! How can you get your sweet little darling teen girl back without breaking her heart, and breaking his head? Here's a few ideas.

Do Not:

  • Pass out the second he walks through the front door. Your daughter will see this a a typical parental response. And she will milk it so much you will never hear the end of it.
  • Phone the police, yelling 'Help my daughter has been abducted by thing thing from the swamp'! Not a good way to introduce yourself!
  • Wipe your hands down your trousers and quickly grab for the hand wash after shaking his hand in introduction.
  • Whatever you do, don't cry!
  • Offer to take his coat, then throw it in the trash!
  • Put clean towels down on the seat that you have just offered him. You may ruin the towels!
  • If he says in his typical teen nightmare way 'I loves your daughter, we is gonna get married' do not scream at the top of your voice with the words 'Dear Lord what have I done to deserve this?'
  • And last but not least, never offer your daughter money to keep away from him. This will just make her love him more!

Boy Explains 'Chav Speak' English Style! Funny!

Your Daughters Boyfriend?  public domain
Your Daughters Boyfriend? public domain

Dancing To Da Beat!

Things You Should Do!


  • Smile sweetly and give him a big hug. This will confuse your daughter, and what's more his street cred will crumble.
  • Offer to buy him spot cream as you think he is a handsome boy but Oh those zits!
  • Ask how many babies they are going to have as your daughter always told you she wanted at least four!
  • Offer to invite his parents and him over for Sunday lunch after Church. This should bring out the first sweat if he hasn't already started!
  • Tell him in no certain terms that your daughter is highly intelligent and will love having great conversations about Einstein and Relativity. Then offer him a cookie.
  • Keep explaining that your husband has a terrific job in Sales, and when your daughter gets married its expected that the husband will join the firm too. Keep it in the family I say!
  • Ask him if he would mind mowing the lawn as your husbands away for a couple of days, and you have really put your back out.
  • Tell your daughter that you are so impressed with her choice of boyfriend you are planning on having a tea party.
  • Tell him that the music he has screaming from his iPod is your kind of thing baby! And can you borrow it? You always loved Rap music and 'Can I show you how to 'Get down with the beat'? If this doesn't make him run for the hills then he is made of sterner stuff than you thought!
  • Leave the best till last. Tell him that you always go clubbing with your daughter, she loves to see her mom getting 'Jiggy on the dance floor dude'. Then offer him another cookie.
  • Get out the alcohol and say, 'Is vodka your tipple? Or do you prefer Gin? My daughter loves a good glass of wine, she is a bit allergic to it and throws up all over the carpet virtually every night, but hey that's cool, I love her'!

If You Don't Act Now This Could Be Your Daughters Future!

Vicky Pollard -Still from Little Britain TV Comedy public domain
Vicky Pollard -Still from Little Britain TV Comedy public domain


By this time your daughter will have either passed out with shock, ran to her room in total embarrassment or tried to kill you. Either way, its goodbye to the Revolting Boyfriend from Hell!

copyright nell rose


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi Aneegma, lol! the Fonz! oh that's so funny! I am sure you won't allow your kids to wear those pants on top of their trousers! haha! Hell raisers made me laugh too! have a great day, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Thanks ananceleste! lol! those guys with those trousers! Ew! thanks for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi Paula, well, chav means....Council housing, and violent! LOL! in other words not someone you would want to bump into in the night in a dark alley! haha! thanks for coming back, nell

    • Aneegma profile image

      Jasmine S 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Teenage girls are the reason I'm not a mother yet. I look at them and remember me when I was a teen and the awful tattooed idiot I liked who couldn't round up a proper English sentence, smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and yet I was crazy about him because he looked like the Fonz from Happy days. Now the teens are getting worse with them wearing their underwear outside their clothes (I hate that more than anything ever!) So I've spared myself the torment and remained motherless LOL

      Absolutely hilarious hub but so true. I feel sorry for parents of teenagers. But who knows one day I'll succumb to the pressures and raise one of these hell raisers myself LOL. Well Done Nell, Voted up.

    • ananceleste profile image

      Anan Celeste 

      6 years ago from California

      This is hysterical Nell! Love this.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      6 years ago from Carson City

      Been so long since this went round the first time......Funny. Actually, even funnier!......Do you know what "Chav" stands for? What is it in reference to? The young man's video is hilarious!

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      lol! me too ziyena! thanks so much for reading, nell

    • ziyena profile image


      6 years ago from the United States

      Awwwww Nell ... too funny, but so true. I think I'm laughing because I did a few of these things to my poor mom. Great hub full of laughs! cheers UP


    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi Freya, thanks for coming back, and take care, and once again it really made my day speaking to you again, bye for now.

    • Freya Cesare profile image

      Freya Cesare 

      6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

      Yep! Nell Rose's works are always amusing and very funny. I came to the right place to have a good laughs.. Thank you very much, Nell. Wish you all the best and I'm so sorry, I can't visiting you often. Bye for now.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi rebecca, lol! hope so! thank goodness I had a boy! thanks for reading, nell

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 

      6 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      This is a cute article. I'll bet lots of Moms of teen girls will really get a kick out of this Great job! And the pictures are soooo perfect!

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Thanks JP, yes it that teen thing, at least with boys they tend to get girlfriends who are not so revolting! lol! thanks for reading, nell

    • JPSO138 profile image


      6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      Good thing I only have one child and it's a boy. Your hub is funny and informative and moreover worth reading for. I will definitely advise my friends to check this out.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi michael! LOL! that's really funny! thanks for reading, yes I may not have had to put up with revolting boyfriends, but my son brought home a few revolting girlfriends! the funniest thing was when the really snobby one turned up, she loved herself, until she leaned against my pet rats cage, suddenly realized what it was, and ran out screaming! Haha!

    • molometer profile image

      Micheal is 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      This was so funny Nell Rose I just showed it to my granddaughter (9)

      She asked me about Vicky Pollard character and all those kids.

      I told her. 'That could be you, in a few years time'

      She said 'No Way, no way' lol

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi Wiccan, lol! erm I will have to think about that one! my friends daughter was gay and we all went on holiday together with the girlfriend too, she was a nightmare! she was jealous of guys chatting up her girlfriend, and she was jealous of girls chatting up her girlfriend! she is not with her now, thank goodness! lol!

    • WiccanSage profile image

      Mackenzie Sage Wright 

      6 years ago

      This is soo funny. I used to wonder if I was going to end up having to deal with this, but my daughter is a lesbian. You wouldn't happen to have any ideas about how to get rid of your daughter's girlfriend, would you? LOL. Voted up.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Oh lol! I wondered where they had gone! Yes Bubblews is great! But I do love writing here still, its just like proper articles here, and fun there, but get paid! lol!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Hi Nell, I magically reappeared again here on the hub. I deleted all of my previous hubs. I might start writing again soon since Billy is starting a new challenge where every writer can participate and submit articles on historical places to visit in their city. I will keep you posted. How's Bubblews going for you? I'm making some bucks there. lol

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hey lovedoctor, I can't see any of your hubs, you need to go into edit and change the setting for seeing the ones that are not showing up, okay?

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi DDE, so darn true! lol! thanks for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Thanks lovedoctor! lol! glad you liked it, nell

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      6 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      How To Get Rid Of Your Teenage Daughters Revolting Boyfriend great tips here and so helpful indeed. Sometimes teenage girls think they have it all and meet the wrong guys and somehow manage to put up with those revolting ones.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      A very clever hub and funny too.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Thanks mythbuster! lol! yeah sorta like chav innit? thanks so much for reading, nell

    • mythbuster profile image


      6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      HAHA! Loved the "chav speak" video. A very funny article from start to finish, NRose!

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi molly, lol! that is so true! yes that is from the program Little Britain, so funny isn't it? thanks so much for reading, nell

    • mollymeadows profile image

      Mary Strain 

      7 years ago from The Shire

      Nell, loved this!! How did I miss it? What's the old saying? Craft and experience will always win over youth and arrogance? Loved, loved the last photo!! Sharing.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      ?! lol!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Take his head off with a shovel.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi Tycoonsam, lol! thanks for reading, and I am glad you liked it, nell

      Hi moonlake, Aw thanks! lol! that darn score! yes its best to keep schtum as we say over here, when meeting that boy for the first time! lol!

    • moonlake profile image


      7 years ago from America

      Good one. We were lucky our daughter never brought anything like you mentioned home but she did bring a few we could not stand. Never said a bad word about them in front of her. Enjoyed reading your hub. Glad to see your score back up. Voted uP!

    • TycoonSam profile image


      7 years ago from Washington, MI

      Absolutely Brilliant!

      Thanks for the laugh. Voted up and funny!

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Thanks again Eddy, hope your having a great weekend, nell

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      Oh yes Nell definitely one of your best . I loved id and the pic of Vicky Pollard was awesome. here's to so many more to share and I share this one. Enjoy .


    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi tills, Yuck! Haha! brilliant! thanks again for reading, and the laugh!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      7 years ago from New York

      Right to the top again Nell! This was not only funny but scarily true in so many places. You really have a knack for passing on the right information while we laugh through! One of my daughters had a boyfriend named Chuck whom we called Yuck, so I am very familiar with the situation and you've more than done it justice!

      Voted up, useful, and funny.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi Tawny, lol! glad it made you laugh, and thanks so much, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi lyric, you have all this to look forward to! lol! thanks as always, nell

    • TawnyMarie profile image


      7 years ago from Inver Grove Heights, MN

      I do not have a teen daughter...or any daughter, but this made me laugh! I will definitely be sharing with many friends :)

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      Nell, LMAO!!! I love your personality!! I know it shows in your writing! It reminds me of my auntie! This was hilarious, OMG. My daughter is only 4 and I already dread the coming years:( Awesome as always Nell. Take care my dear. Voted up, useful, awesome, funny, and interesting. Shared also.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Thanks midget, yes there are ways and means! haha!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      7 years ago from Singapore

      Most girls like the "bad boy" sort at that you say, they think it is cool! Thanks for the tips on how to shove him off, Nell!!

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi alocsin, haha! brilliant! thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi grandmapearl, lol! yes those trousers! what are they thinking? thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi kitty! me too! my sid snot was after school, we were punks so you can imagine! lol! thanks as always, nell

    • kittythedreamer profile image

      Kitty Fields 

      7 years ago from Summerland

      HIlarious Nell! Makes me worry about when my daughter hits the teen years...though we have quite a few years to go before then. Guess I'll enjoy the sweetness while it lasts. As for the sid snots...yes, I had one of those in high school and swore I was going to marry him. Now I see him on FB and find him revolting! LOL. Awesome hub, you made me laugh...and cry. :)

    • grandmapearl profile image

      Connie Smith 

      7 years ago from Southern Tier New York State

      Another winner, Nell! Though I don't have any daughters, I knew from the title that it was a must-read, particularly since you wrote it! And I thought guys in America dressed weird! I cannot imagine why anyone would want to dress like that, or even think that it was cool? It really does take all kinds to make the world go 'round. So glad I never have to deal with this! Voted Up across the board.

    • alocsin profile image

      Aurelio Locsin 

      7 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Love your strategies! I'd like to suggest that the most effective one is point out a better boyfriend for her, but tell her secretly, how much you hate that new one even worse than the current one. Voting this Up and Interesting.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi Everyone, thanks so much for the great comments, I fell about laughing! sorry it took me so long to answer, I was over my sons place.

      Yes chavs is the stupid word we use, I have no idea where it comes from! lol! I will have to look it up, but I always call these type of guys, Kyles, purely because of the Jeremy Kyle show we have over here, I think its probably shown in the States too? you know the ones I mean, no teeth, spots, baggy trousers and a pale skin like a vamp! thanks so much for reading, and Jools, spot on! haha!

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Claudia Mitchell 

      7 years ago

      As the mother of a 10 year old I am dreading these upcoming years. I'll have to remember some of your tips. Funny hub!!!!

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      7 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is so funny and creative, Nell! You've taught me a new word, too - I've never heard of "chavs" before. Thanks for both the information and the entertainment.

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 

      7 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      OK, so we're shot of the 'spotty, fag-ash-decorated, greaseball' - next one she turns up with is the smarmy little git who always turns up in a suit, expensive shirt and tie with Gucci shoes and agrees with everything you or your huband says (in the case of those who have impressive-looking husbands with membership of the local golf club and a seat on the board). It's going to be a dead giveaway, and he doesn't have to tell you he's interested in a nice, cushy number through the boss's daughter.

      Just as bad as the other type who's probably more honest, if anything. I think I'd choose the Punk. There are too many dishonest gits around, and I wouldn't encourage one. As it is my son-in-law Ash works at Lord's in the indoor cricket school, operates the 'Hawkeye' scoring system and helps in the away team's changing rooms in International matches. Not bad for a start, eh? Dab-hand at computer technology as well!

    • crissytsu profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      My mom went through this with my oldest sister when she was 16. She tried everything in her power to get rid of this guy, some even drastic measures. In the long run my sister married him when she was 17 and they were married for over 20 years until he passed away...I guess you could say it backfired on my mom, big time. Luckily he ended up maturing into a decent person.

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 

      7 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      Nell interesting hub, my daughter has just started going to the college, and what you write in you hub, makes my heart beat, enjoyed Nell, you make my day, thanks

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      7 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I like the way you think mama! Luckily I never went through this with my daughters. Yeehaw!!! I'll keep these tips in mind when my granddaughter starts dating. Oh my!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      7 years ago

      Nell, you have me laughing. I don't have to worry about this problem but I can relate to those who have a daughter in the home. What can you do? Just ride the storm out... great advice and thanks.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      7 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      You have a sick sense of humor, just like me. We could easily continue this saga. I'll bet it would be a better show than "Are You Being Served?"

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Oh Nell, when saw this title, I had to chuckle. If only my folks had read this years ago when I was in my teens and going through my rebellion phase. Dad used to say, {sigh} “Here’s another one of Gen’s trogs.” Lol. Thank goodness it didn’t last long. I can remember when my son was a teenager, and he had a couple of trogettes chasing him. I used to bite my nails, and tongue not to say anything. What was that line from the ‘Fantastics’ about dealing with teenagers? “If you want them to do anything, just say no.” This hub is a treasure!! :-)

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      7 years ago from South Africa

      Oh gosh, and I thought I have forgotten all about my daughter's revolting boyfriend! And now you've awaken all my memories, Nell! Lol!

      But ya, I realized that it was my punishment for giving my parents grey hair.

      In a couple of years it will be my daughter's turn to be punished.....

      I will surely help her to get rid of punks :)

      Thanks for the tips, Nell!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHaHaHa, Very entertaining read. I always wanted a Daughter, not any more..Hee

    • Duchessoflilac1 profile image

      Rebecka Vigus 

      7 years ago from Nancy KY

      Totally entertaining. I should have had this about 15 years ago.

    • GetitScene profile image

      Dale Anderson 

      7 years ago from The High Seas

      FINALLY a practical guide to something. This is the most useful thing I have read since the squidoo lens So you want to dress like a stripper? (which I also wrote). Bravo to you!

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 

      7 years ago from Jamaica

      LOL LOL LOL, Yes Nell, the best way to catch bees is with honey. Tell your daughter how much you like the new boyfriend and she will dump him faster than a garbage truck dump its contents. I love this...wish I had a daughter to do this with. :(

    • dianetrotter profile image

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      7 years ago from Fontana

      At bac2, it also slows them down when running from the police. Have you ever watched a foot chase with the thug holding his pants up while he runs.

    • bac2basics profile image


      7 years ago from Spain

      Hi Nell. Funny you should bring this hub out just now, as I am going to the UK next week and my daughters new boyfriend is quaking in his boots at the thought of meeting me for the first time. She´s not a teenager though, so there´s no need for me to terrify the poor lad to death, well unless he needs it LOL. Great hub Nell and it was nice to see a young lad that can actually speak in English and with intelligence, and doesn´t I suspect wear his jeans almost around his knees..why do they do that, it looks so stupid and uncomfortable too ?

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Nell, I had to stop reading this part way through until I could regain my composure! Hilarious! Oh, where was this excellent advice five years ago!?

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 

      7 years ago from Iowa

      I don't have a teenage daughter but I had to read this anyway. It did not disappoint. Very funny!

    • profile image


      7 years ago


      I have no daughter but I would gladly share this to my sister. She got a 10 year old and this is a good way of preparing her.

      This is really funny. Thanks for the laughs. :-))

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      7 years ago from the beautiful south

      Oh lord you picked a good one! Some were so bad it was all I could do to look them in the face to say hi and one was so awful I took my daughter in the other room to ask how on earth she could pick someone so sickening and I broke down in sobs and couldn't talk. Thank God she did drop him though. I sure would never go back there again! What a time. My daughter was the nightmare from hell for sure and the truth is, she still is! Maybe you can feel better now about not having one. My son and I are great friends though, so who can know.

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 

      7 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)


      Thanks for providing me with a such a big smile this morning. Your suggestions are terrific.

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools Hogg 

      7 years ago from North-East UK

      Nell, great hub init? Yer bit no bu yer but no bu Nell slagged off 'er boyfriend cos she seen 'im snoggin' at the dole office bu it weren't a kiss, they were passin' Greggs pasty from mouth to mouth init? Are you callin' me a slag like?

      I still don't get the jeans halfway down the backside with the drawers sticking out of the top - why?

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      7 years ago from Arizona

      though I don't have or never had a teenage daughter I decided to read this..I knew I would get a chuckle or two. However I know from my friends it was a huge problem and one that had to be handled with kid gloves. Great job as always. Voted UP.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      7 years ago from Carson City

      Nell...once again in your famously humorous way, you have saved the day. Fortunately, I never had a daughter. Fortunately for her and her potential boyfriends. This Mom is not the subtle type! LOL....You are great, Nell....and come to think of it, I believe it's good you do not have a daughter either!!...............UP++

    • Angie Jardine profile image

      Angie Jardine 

      7 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

      Thank goodness I’m a gran now though the dorks in my daughter’s youth did not look as ridiculous as they do now … that ‘look at my underpants’ look is just so naff.

    • dianetrotter profile image

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      7 years ago from Fontana

      Larry I feel your pain. I teach school. Back in the day we didn't want our bra straps to show. Now everybody shows at least the straps. It is very obvious that some are not washed from week to week.

    • 2patricias profile image


      7 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      I wish I'd read this at least 10 years ago! My husband and I once made the mistake of saying that we liked a certain boyfriend (we really did) - he was off the scene before we could blink!

    • anupma profile image

      Dr Anupma Srivastava 

      7 years ago from India

      It really feel bad when your daughter do not listen you. I am also a daughter and whatever you write, I agree with it strongly. You have given some very important tips that can be helpful in disaster.

      Thanks for sharing.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 

      7 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      This is hilarious Nell. I usually left getting rid of the dreadful boyfriend to her older brother, always worked a treat and kept her sweet with me Lol.

    • Specialk3749 profile image

      Karen Metz 

      7 years ago from Michigan

      Thanks for a great laugh!

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 

      7 years ago from Northern California

      Hi Diane. You wrote:

      "Also DO ask: Are you practicing for incarceration? That's where the sag started. It lets the other convicts know your backside is available."

      I'd read that. I'd also read another prison-related explanation. Supposedly the authorities frequently hand out trousers that are way too large.

      BTW, I'm not giving a free pass to teenage girls. Muffin-tops are not exactly eye-candy either. (obese girls wearing low-rider jeans)

    • dianetrotter profile image

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      7 years ago from Fontana

      When I saw the headline, I KNEW it was written by you. Add to DO: Offer him a diaper change. Haven't you noticed that the seat of the pants is at his knees. It looks like his pants are full of poop.

      Also DO ask: Are you practicing for incarceration? That's where the sag started. It lets the other convicts know your backside is available.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      7 years ago from San Francisco

      My daughter couldn't pick a winner to save her life. Each was worse than the previous. My favorite was " the commander of a Navy SEAL unit". I would stay quiet and be ready to listen over tea and cake. When she became a chef, she became too busy to date.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      OMG! This is great! Love that part about offering zit cream! You are hilariously creative! :)

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 

      7 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      Hysterical Nell!!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      7 years ago from south Florida

      I am memorizing your hilarious suggestions, Nell, as they should work well to get rid of any noxious folks be they boyfriends, girlfriends, nosy neighbors or annoying salespeople. Thanks for your assistance.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie Marie 

      7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Some of these suggestions could work for just about any annoying houseguest you'd like to kick out the door. Hey, thanks for the advice!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 

      7 years ago from New York, New York

      Nell, this was a riot and as the mom to two girls who will someday be teenagers, I truly loved this article. Really gave me a wonderful laugh tonight I must admit. Have of course, voted, shared and tweeted too!!

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 

      7 years ago from Northern California

      Hi Nell. Loved this hub! Few things are funnier than a good truth joke.

      I wish that I had read this when I was a teenager. It would have given me time to come up with some good rejoinders. :)

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I loved this, but soooo glad I have boys...

      I love the picture of Vicky Pollard... (I miss BBC) They ought to make the character the poster child for birth control. :)

    • rcrumple profile image


      7 years ago from Kentucky

      Nell -

      My dear, you have another winner! lol Great humor here! I used to embarrass my oldest daughter to death my giving all of her dates the third degree. I'd usually see if I could get them mad and nervous to see what they were really made of. Then, I'd usually end it with, "Excuse me, I need to take a pill before I lose my head and really get violent. There are times I wonder if I should even own a gun at all." and leave the room. My daughter said I scared away more of her dates that way, but funny, not one of them ever brought her home late! lol Great Job!

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 

      7 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      I really enjoyed this one. I love the dash of humor sprinkled over an important topic like this. I just don't know what I'll do should my daughter introduce to us a boyfriend like this. ha ha ha. At least I still have several years to prepare. I'm still focusing on potty training so I guess I'm still quite far from this situation. :) Voted UP and Shared.

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi mary, lol! I can just imagine your face when you saw that! no, unfortunately I never had a girl, but a beautiful boy, but it works both ways, some of those girlfriends! shudder! lol! it was my friend today that had me in absolute hysterics talking about her girls boyfriend! thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi passthejelly, great name! lol! thanks for reading, its every mothers nightmare if she has a girl! I found that out today with my friend!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      7 years ago from Florida

      After raising four daughters, I can relate to this. You didn't mention the boyfriend that comes roaring up to the house on his huge Harley! I've had that happen, too.

      I really enjoyed this Hub; sounds like you are an experienced Mother of girls!

      I voted this UP, etc. and will share.

    • passthejelly profile image

      Mark Passarelli 

      7 years ago from Lakewood Colorado

      Very entertaining hub. I personally have never had to deal with this, but it was nice to see the perspective you had. Hopefully if I have a daughter one day I won't have to deal with a scumbag boyfriend xD. The best thing I can do is attempt to not be one lol.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)