- Family and Parenting
How To Get Rid Of Your Teenage Daughters Revolting Boyfriend!
You have brought your daughter up to be respectful clean and a hard worker. Then something turns the switch and overnight she turns into the daughter from hell! Why?
At a certain age, usually around sixteen or seventeen, the girl who called you mommy, took the pet dog for a walk and was always polite suddenly becomes sullen, miserable and just downright tacky.
Now you know there must be something behind this. And guess what? Its usually a boyfriend. So what's making her turn into Cruella Deville? Well, he is. She has started dating and there's nothing you can do about it. But does she choose a good looking nice guy? No.
The boyfriend who your daughter loves with so much teen passion, is in fact a dweeb. And a not very nice one at that.
Sid Snot character by Kenny Everett
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We have all been there. For some reason only known to teenage girls, our hormones decide to go into overdrive when we spot the most revolting guy out there, who thinks he is really cool.
You know the sort. Leather jacket, punk hair and of course the proverbial cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. His spots glow brightly on his shiny face, and his breath smells like something you wouldn't even flush down the pan.
But your daughter loves him. Ye Gods! Did we do that? Yep sure did! But if only we knew how stupid it was back then.
They say youth is wasted on the young. And how right that saying is. In England the dweebs come in a rather strange package.
The teen boys wear trousers hanging down their posterior so that we can see their lovely boxer shorts, trainers too big for them, and a cap usually placed sideways on their heads.
Yes they look like a demented three year old just escaped from kindergarten! We call them Chavs!
But whether they wear the leather jacket, or baggy pants that hang under their ass, they all have one thing in common. They are revolting! Just like the comedian from the seventies Kenny Everitt, they look like Sid Snot. So what can we do about it? Well quite a lot in fact!
Boyfriend Material? Nah!
Do's And Don'ts!
Now before you decide to sling them both out on their ears, think! How can you get your sweet little darling teen girl back without breaking her heart, and breaking his head? Here's a few ideas.
- Pass out the second he walks through the front door. Your daughter will see this a a typical parental response. And she will milk it so much you will never hear the end of it.
- Phone the police, yelling 'Help my daughter has been abducted by thing thing from the swamp'! Not a good way to introduce yourself!
- Wipe your hands down your trousers and quickly grab for the hand wash after shaking his hand in introduction.
- Whatever you do, don't cry!
- Offer to take his coat, then throw it in the trash!
- Put clean towels down on the seat that you have just offered him. You may ruin the towels!
- If he says in his typical teen nightmare way 'I loves your daughter, we is gonna get married' do not scream at the top of your voice with the words 'Dear Lord what have I done to deserve this?'
- And last but not least, never offer your daughter money to keep away from him. This will just make her love him more!
Boy Explains 'Chav Speak' English Style! Funny!
Dancing To Da Beat!
Things You Should Do!
- Smile sweetly and give him a big hug. This will confuse your daughter, and what's more his street cred will crumble.
- Offer to buy him spot cream as you think he is a handsome boy but Oh those zits!
- Ask how many babies they are going to have as your daughter always told you she wanted at least four!
- Offer to invite his parents and him over for Sunday lunch after Church. This should bring out the first sweat if he hasn't already started!
- Tell him in no certain terms that your daughter is highly intelligent and will love having great conversations about Einstein and Relativity. Then offer him a cookie.
- Keep explaining that your husband has a terrific job in Sales, and when your daughter gets married its expected that the husband will join the firm too. Keep it in the family I say!
- Ask him if he would mind mowing the lawn as your husbands away for a couple of days, and you have really put your back out.
- Tell your daughter that you are so impressed with her choice of boyfriend you are planning on having a tea party.
- Tell him that the music he has screaming from his iPod is your kind of thing baby! And can you borrow it? You always loved Rap music and 'Can I show you how to 'Get down with the beat'? If this doesn't make him run for the hills then he is made of sterner stuff than you thought!
- Leave the best till last. Tell him that you always go clubbing with your daughter, she loves to see her mom getting 'Jiggy on the dance floor dude'. Then offer him another cookie.
- Get out the alcohol and say, 'Is vodka your tipple? Or do you prefer Gin? My daughter loves a good glass of wine, she is a bit allergic to it and throws up all over the carpet virtually every night, but hey that's cool, I love her'!
If You Don't Act Now This Could Be Your Daughters Future!
By this time your daughter will have either passed out with shock, ran to her room in total embarrassment or tried to kill you. Either way, its goodbye to the Revolting Boyfriend from Hell!
copyright nell rose