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How to Deal with Your Angry Child - Parenting Tips

Updated on September 25, 2014

Having to parent an angry child can be a nightmare. Anger can be a tough emotion to deal with for adults, so imagine how tough it would be for a child to deal with anger? Anger is a perfectly normal emotion. We all get angry; however, for a child, anger is a much more complex emotion. Whereas an adult knows coping mechanisms to deal with anger, a child is often not well equipped to cope with anger. As a parent, you should look towards equipping your child with effective coping mechanisms and set limits and boundaries - for the way a child deals with anger now can influence the way he/she deals with anger as an adult. You most definitely wouldn't want your child to have to struggle with anger as an adult, so start now by teaching them effective coping mechanisms. Here are some tips on how to help your child deal with anger.

Ways To Manage And Help Your Angry Child - Some Tips



Show Them By Example:

Most parents don't think twice about the way they express their anger in front of their kids. Well, kids are very observant and notice how their parents react to adversities, problems, stresses, etc. If you, as a parent, were to yell at people - then you obviously aren't providing your kids with a good role model. You should practice what you preach. So, watch how you react to others in front of your kids. Express your anger in a healthy way by verbalizing it in a normal voice, staying in control at all times. Your kids would learn from you that this way is best, as opposed to yelling/creating a scene.

Set Limits And Boundaries:

A child should know their boundaries/limits from an early age. Clearly lay them out, so they know them well. Your child should know the consequences should they break rules/boundaries set by you.

Guide Them:

Communicate to your child that throwing a temper tantrum/indulging in destructive behavior is not going to get them what they want. Teach them that negative behaviors such as these doesn't pay and, in fact, could cost them dear in terms of appropriate punishment/denial of privileges like playtime, etc. Encourage them to bring up their frustrations by seeking your time and communicating them to you. Assure them that if they were to approach you with their frustrations/grievances in such a constructive, positive way - that you'd listen to them much more intently and would try to address them to their satisfaction. Teach them ways to control anger - like counting from 1-10 / taking deep breaths.

Stay Strong and Firm:

Don't ever give in to bad behavior. Doing so would encourage your child to repeat the bad behavior that resulted in you giving in. Be firm and strong. It might be stressful to have to hear your child wail/cry/get angry and try all the tricks up their sleeves, but stay resolute. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you won't listen to them until they stop the negative behavior and start talking to you in a calm voice.

Reward Good Behavior:

If your child has managed a potentially explosive situation calmly and with maturity (without giving in to anger), praise them for doing so. Rewards reinforce good behavior, so be generous in your praise when your child exhibits good behavior in the face of provocation.

Try To Limit Exposure To Violent Media:

Television, movies, video games often can contain violent, graphic scenes that can twist a child's perception of what is acceptable and what is not, especially when they are very young. Try to shield your child from such shows, movies, games, etc.

Seek The Help of a Professional:

You can teach most children how to control their anger by the methods above; however, there are some children who may need professional help. If your child seems to have continued problems with managing his/her anger, gives in to impulsive tendencies, indulges in constant destructive behavior - you may have to get your child evaluated by a medical doctor. There are certain disorders that could be responsible for these behaviors, so it is best to seek professional help in such cases.


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    • Arian Rey profile image

      Arian Rey 6 years ago from Pearl of the Orient Seas (PHILIPPINES)

      An angry child will mellow down , once he/she sees his/her parent as the boos of the house. Firm decision should be implemented for them to follow instructions at home.

    • sonia05 profile image

      sonia05 6 years ago from india

      very interesting!

    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 6 years ago

      Thank you, winepress, for stopping by and commenting. I've never heard of that method before - certainly unique to me!!

    • winepress profile image

      winepress 6 years ago

      Thanks Shil978. I tie my hands down anytime I'm angry because I don't want to set bad examples.

    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 6 years ago

      Thanks, Lisa, for stopping by and commenting. We do learn as we go along, and often times, wish we knew more looking back. I can relate to how you feel. I have felt much the same about various things that I wish I had more knowledge about when I needed it.

    • lisaking1 profile image

      lisaking1 6 years ago

      Wish I would have read this when my daughter was still little.

    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 7 years ago

      Thank you, Nab, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you found this hub informative and thanks for bookmarking it :)

    • profile image

      Nab 7 years ago

      Lots of Great information in your posting, I bookmarked your hubpage so I can visit again in the future, Thanks.

    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 7 years ago

      Hi Dawn,

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. You've put it quite succinctly!! It is ironical when parents yell at children for yelling at others, or spank their children for hitting others. That example demonstrates why parents need to watch how they react to a given situation. Unless parents can demonstrate a better way, confusing signals are sent to the child.

      Many parents don't realize that their children are just imitating their own behavior often times. If only they can take the time and reflect, they'd realize that and can take steps to rectify that situation.

      Thanks again for visiting by, Dawn, glad you found this article informative :)

    • dawnM profile image

      Dawn Michael 7 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

      Hi Shil, really great information, yes modeling good behavior as an adult is one of those things parents often forget to do, they yell at their children for yelling or spank their children for hitting. Children’s minds are simple, and they do as they see. Limits and boundaries like you stated are the most important because then we are setting up the child to succeed not to fail, they know what the limitations are. When there is no limitation or boundaries than a child will fail because they don’t know the parameter of how their life is expected to be,

      Great informative article!

    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 7 years ago

      Hi Anjali - always a pleasure to have you visit and comment! Well, I'd have loved to read a hub on the same subject from someone as meticulous as you too :)

      Thank you very much for the kind words of appreciation, glad you found this hub a good read!!

    • anjalichugh profile image

      anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York

      Hi Shil: Its always a pleasure to read your hubs. In fact I was thinking of writing on, more or less, the same subject since last month but due to time constraint, I couldn't. After reading this hub I realized that I couldn't have expressed my thoughts as meticulously and as beautifully as you did. Once again, you've done an excellent job here. Kudos!