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How to Raise Children: 7 years bonding, 7 years teaching and 7 years trusting

Updated on April 3, 2018
Sherry H profile image

Sherry believes that good manners and etiquette are impotant attributes of humans. She loves her family, friends and value relationships.

The First Seven Years:

In the first seven years, your goal is to build up a strong bond with your children and let your relationship with them grow. This is the foundation, which if becomes rock solid, the remaining years will be easier for you. If it is poor, the next year's will be challenging for you.

If you have children 1- 7 years old, then this is time for you to invest yourself completely in nurturing their needs, looking after them, fostering a secure and warm attachment with them. This way they'll know their needs will be met and they have someone to go to when they need comfort.

Joke and laugh with your kids, get them learning games and play with them in your free time. It helps children to think creatively.

Take care about their health, make sure they eat healthy, follow them up if you see anything wrong with their eating habits.


The Next Seven Years (7-14)

Once children reach seven, they are ready to learn. This is the time they are like sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you tell them, teach them, show them and do in front of them.

This is the time to teach them moral values, rights and wrongs, good and bad and everything else they need to learn to grow into good humans. Tell them stories of good people, teach them to speak truth always.

Children learn how to interact with others and how to behave mostly by observing how adults do it. Show them how good being humble is or helping poor is. Be polite to everyone, show compassion, be the person you want your child to become. Teaching good manners is not like teaching other things, good manners are taught by actions not by words.

Encourage your children to make friends, let them know how beautiful it is to be around friends, to be a friend. This will help them grow emotion wise.

Be authoritative. Have yourself involved into making decisions. Let them know you're the best decision maker for them. But don't be over authoritative, try to understand where they're coming from and take into account their wishes.

Teach them sports such as horse-riding, swimming and running. They gain many advantages from it, including physical fitness, learning teamwork and sportsmanship.

Make them participate in competitions. They will become competitive and enlarge their space. But teach them not to be a compulsive winner; to let it go and that there's a bigger world out there with big opportunities.

Next Seven Years (14-21)

Once your children reach 14 years they're like independent individuals and their personalities manifests. You are almost out of the picture now. During these important years, befriend them, be part of their lives, advise them and do whatever you possibly can.

Children of these years show a lot of tantrums. They go through social, emotional and mental stress they are not completely able to handle. And this is real. Calm and stable behaviour of parents towards these tantrums is a good way to teach them how to tackle these problems. Don't panic yourself. This will have a bad effect on your child.

Trust your child and be positive. Support them in their worse.This is how you can handle them by making them trust you enough to tell you what they are going through.

Be a part of their social life. Befriend their friends and have a good connection with your child on social networks. Do not tell off to your children in front of their friends and do not talk bad about their friends in a bluffing manner. This will make them think that you don't understand them or trust them and their friends. Invite their friends on dinners and have a good connection with them. This way you can help them be open to you about what is going on in their life.

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

— Abigail Van Buren

Through all these years

Fights in parents can lead to mental breakdown of their children. This will make them choose one of you. When mothers respect their husbands they are indirectly showing their children that their father is a good man and is to be respected. Similarly, fathers loving and respecting their wife will automaticalky teach children that their mothers deserve love and respect. Love and respect is the base of any relationship. You need to make the base strong to see your family grow into a blessed family where everybody values and loves each other.

Secondly, your impression on your child determines his reliance on you. If he watches you being a bad person, that will likely build a bad image in his mind over time and will auyomativally make him distance himself from you. That is the human nature, somewhere in his heart he chooses good person over a bad person. So, be the good role model you want your child to think you as.

Most importantly, do not overstress yourself. Take care of your mental and physical health. The more composed you are, the more easier it is for you to invest yourself in your children.


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    • Jay C OBrien profile image

      Jay C OBrien 3 months ago from Houston, TX USA

      This is a good article on parenting, but I have an addition. It is time we taught our children to Plan their Parenthood. Children should not be having children until they are mature enough to do so. We should also teach our children contraceptive methods and limit children to no more than two. We live in a world of water shortages, drought, decreasing farmland and climate change. We need to decrease the number of people in the world or have famine, war and disease.