How to Be a Good Father to Your Daughter
What Makes a Good Father
Becoming a good father does not happen automatically when his baby daughter is born, anymore than a good mother is made by giving birth.
So, what makes a good father to his daughter? How does he become the father she needs him to be?
Here are some thoughts and insights into this powerful issue and crucial question.
Parenting - and Growing Up
When I was growing up, I wanted my father to love me as all little girls do wanting a good father.
I remember when I was very small, I was the 'apple of his eye' and he always looked at me with a heart full of love.
Unfortunately as I grew older, he withdrew as he could not deal with my development into a young woman.
I couldn't tell him what I needed from him and nor did I know then what I know now, having been a parent of my own family, and they now fully grown.
I learned along the way through my childhood and that of my children's, how important a father is, and the difference a good father can make to the healthy development of his children.
He is their first teacher along with their mother; he is their protector and the first 'knight in shining white armor' they will meet and gauge their next female-male relationships on.
If I were able to tell my father how he could have been a good father to me, this is what I would say...
Wanting a Good Father
I knew when I was little that you loved me, but I wanted you to keep showing me that you loved me... even if it meant pushing past your fears about me growing up.
I wanted you to be my father and give me good wholesome guidelines for living with others.
I needed you to show me respect even when I was being a silly little girl.
I needed your tenderness when I was feeling hurt or vulnerable, or afraid of failing. Just a gentle touch of your hand on mine, or a comforting hug...
I needed you to believe in me and to trust that the good things you had taught me would help me make good decisions and choices.
I desperately wanted you to listen to me and give me your undivided attention sometimes... even for short periods of time.
I wanted to look up to you and know that you were honest and caring; a person of integrity, that you would be someone I could aspire to.
I longed for you to be gentle and kind to my mother, showing me how I could expect a boyfriend, and later a husband, to relate to me.
I wanted to learn with you how to relate with a person of the opposite sex in such a way that I could grow a healthy and happy relationship. You were my first 'boyfriend' and I needed to know how to be a good 'girlfriend' in a safe environment, without any of the physical side to a couple relationship.
That I would learn with the one who would become my love, and my husband.
I needed to learn acceptable boundaries from you.
I needed to learn my value and worth from you and see it reflected in your eyes, so that I could face life with confidence and courage.
I know you loved me... but for a long time, it felt like you didn't. Dad, it was so easy for your abruptness to come across as harshness, when it was your gentle side I needed most.
I am grateful that you were my Dad, because I'd like to think of and I thank you for the good things you imparted to me. I just needed you to know how things could have been... how I wanted them to be...
Your daughter "
Nothing is More Important in the Whole Wide World than Relationship - and It Begins At Home...
Books for Insights to Great Father-Daughter Relationships
Want to Be a Good Father to Your Daughter?
Don't be afraid to ask for ideas and look at alternatives when raising your daughter. Work with her mother together to raise your little girl... (she knows girls, she gets girls, she IS a girl...!)
Being a good father is something that is learned, rather than just 'happens.'
You wouldn't just jump into the cab of a big truck and begin driving down the road without first being trained and getting a license, so don't expect to know what to do to be a good father to your daughter without learning how...
Your input into her life as she grows up is very important and she just wants to know that you love her and that you would give your life for her.
In effect, you are. You are giving up your single life, and embracing a new life building another's...
There is nothing more exciting and challenging than creating a new life and then shaping that life...she is your legacy.
What you teach her, she will pass on to your grandchildren... and then to hers...
It doesn't get more powerful than that!