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Hey, Mom! Want to Know What Your Kids REALLY Think About You?

Updated on October 2, 2015
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Amanda is a retired educator with many years of experience teaching children of all ages and abilities in a wide range of contexts.

A New Perspective

Mom and child. Is she worrying if she's doing okay? The kid looks happy enough!
Mom and child. Is she worrying if she's doing okay? The kid looks happy enough! | Source

A New Perspective For Moms

These Moms were asked to say how they felt about their parenting, to share their thoughts, their feelings, their anxieties.

Then their kids were asked to say what they thought about their Moms. Their answers were beautiful:

"My Mom is my hero."

"Beautiful, kind. We love each other."

"She's like my heart, I guess, because we're so close."

If you're anxious about how you're doing as a Mom, you are not alone. But I hope this video and the article below, will help you realize that you are doing just fine.

Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.

— Robert Browning

Being a Mom Isn’t Easy.

There’s no handbook, no practice run and no opportunity to shut the whole thing down, reboot and start again; at least not with the same child. But even then, every child is different.

There’s no Mom School.

Yes, we experienced our own mothers’ parenting. But we were just kids at the time, seeing everything through kid’s eyes. We mostly love our own mothers and have a lot we feel very thankful for. Most of us can easily forgive her mistakes, too. Because we know that she loved us, gave us her best and did a fair enough job of bringing us up. I mean, we’re okay, aren’t we?

Remember that, when you’re judging your own parenting skills.

When you’re in the thick of raising your kids by yourself, you tend to keep a running list of everything you think you’re doing wrong. I recommend taking a lot of family pictures as evidence to the contrary.

— Connie Shultz
To be a good Mom, you don't have to be perfect. Relax!
To be a good Mom, you don't have to be perfect. Relax! | Source

You Don’t Have to be Perfect.

You can’t be perfect. Your kids don’t want you to be perfect. A kid raised by whatever your idea of the perfect plastic parent is, most likely would have a pretty unrealistic start in life. Don’t you think?

There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.

— Jill Churchill

Superhero Mom

Yes, Mom, you do need to be a kind of superhero.

But you should also be yourself; a woman in your own right; a human being with weaknesses and failings as well as strengths and successes.

Our kids need to learn from us how to live well despite weakness. They need to learn how to pick themselves up and persevere towards success despite failings. They need to learn that love is forgiving and deserves forgiveness. That life can be tough. That helping each other and working together is more important than being in control and getting everything right first time.

Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman.
Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. | Source

There is no way that a ‘perfect parent’ could ever teach them that stuff. And that’s the most important stuff there is to learn. Forget about school grades and getting in the sports team; that’s secondary.

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.

— Maya Angelou

No One is Watching You

Most of the time when we’re doing our Mom stuff, no one is watching. No one admonishes us for mistakes. No one rewards us when we do something wonderful. Maybe that’s why we get so anxious and self-recriminating. Better to judge ourselves harshly and be on the safe-side.

But no, we’re making a mistake when we do that. Mom needs to love Mom, to forgive Mom, to accept Mom.

That’s called self-respect.

And who’s going to teach her children self-respect, self-reliance, resilience in a difficult and unpredictable world? Who's going to teach that by example?

Mom.

Better still; don’t judge yourself as a Mom at all. Just get on with it. You’re most likely doing fine.

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great—but how to laugh through it.

— Liza Minnelli (about Judy Garland)
"Did you see what she just did?! Calls herself a Mom?" No one is spying on you.
"Did you see what she just did?! Calls herself a Mom?" No one is spying on you. | Source

So how do you be a great Mom?

Look After Yourself

Remember to be yourself. Look after yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Don’t feel guilty about taking some time out to read, to watch a movie, to go for a walk, go to the gym, and meet up with the girls for lunch.

It might not always be possible – especially with little ones – but when you can get some you time – be happy about that and enjoy it to the max. Your kids need a break from you, just as much as you need a break from them.

Never forget that even though having kids is a game-changer and all your priorities get re-ordered, you are still you. You are who you are - Mom is one of the things you do.

I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible — oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

— Tina Fey
Stressed out Mom? Try not to get to this stage - and stop judging yourself so harshly.
Stressed out Mom? Try not to get to this stage - and stop judging yourself so harshly. | Source
Maintaining clear boundaries about bedtime, manners, hygiene and respect isn't old-fashioned - it's what you and your kids need.
Maintaining clear boundaries about bedtime, manners, hygiene and respect isn't old-fashioned - it's what you and your kids need. | Source

Don't Be Guilty of Feeling Guilty

Get rid of the guilt. You do not stand accused. You are not judged.

You mustn’t be perfect.

There is nothing worse for herself or her child than a perfect Mom.

Maintain Clear Boundaries

Back in the day, families were more structured along patriarchal lines. Pop ruled, Mom mommed and the kids were bound to unquestioning obedience. Okay, not quite, but nowadays the way that most of us do family has changed. We discuss things; we get the kids involved in major decisions that effect the whole family. We try to listen to our kids needs and opinions as well as tell them that we know best. All to the good. But…

…they’re still kids. Let them be kids. And kids need structure. Part of that is knowing when to lay down the law, because – well because you really do know best. Talking and listening and being respectful to your child are positive modern developments. But the importance of boundaries – of bedtime, of table manners, of accepting a sensible ‘no’ still stands.

Your Kids Love You

Above all, remember that your kids are going to love you because you are their Mom. Feed them, clothe them, and educate them. Look after yourself. Recognize that their lives are already their own. Trust them. Trust yourself.

Mom? You’re doing okay.

If only we knew the beautiful truth...we're doing fine!
If only we knew the beautiful truth...we're doing fine! | Source

Film Credit: The above video is a short film made by Steve Furtick, entitled, 'A New Perspective For Moms' originally published on Vimeo. Used according to the licensing release agreement.

Original, unique articles for kids, parents and teachers, written by expert author, Amanda Littlejohn.
Original, unique articles for kids, parents and teachers, written by expert author, Amanda Littlejohn.

About the Author...

Articles at stuff4kids are written exclusively by expert author, Amanda Littlejohn. Amanda is a retired educator with many years of experience teaching children of all ages and abilities in a wide range of professional and informal settings. She now specializes in writing and publishing valuable resources for use in educational contexts.

You are welcome to refer to these pages on your own site so long as you include a live link and the copyright attribution. Copying and pasting the article content itself, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited. All articles on this subdomain (http://stuff4kids.hubpages.com) are original, unique content and all rights remain with the author.

© 2014 Amanda Littlejohn

Moms' voice box/soap box/comment box...

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    • stuff4kids profile image
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      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Hi Vellur!

      Thanks for your kind contribution. You're right - there is no 'one size fits all' solution to parenting. That's one of the reason's why so many of us fall into doubt about how well we are doing raising our kids.

      I really hope that this video and article will help encourage moms to realize that they don't have to be perfect and for the most part - they're doing a great job!

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      Great hub for all moms in the world. Parenting is no joke and there are no sure fire ways that work well with all children. Great write, voted up.

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Hi Cleveland Teen!

      Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and took the time to leave a comment.

      Bless you :)

    • Cleveland Teen profile image

      Sidney Hill 3 years ago from Cleveland , Ohio

      I really like your blog, it will mean a lot to me if you check out my first blog comment and tell me how you feel about it.

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Hi pstraubie48!

      Thank you so much for your comment.

      Yes, I think you arrive at a very interesting and enlightening point - namely, that we tend to emulate our own mothers if we feel that we had a good childhood and yet paradoxically, many remain confident that they are doing everything wrong!

      Still, there are bound to be times of doubt - especially through some of the more difficult phases - but i hope this article will help in some small way to put things in a new perspective for moms who are struggling.

      I'm so happy to hear of your positive experiences, both as a daughter and a mom. Thanks for your lovely contribution.

      Bless you :)

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs that no one can teach us how to do. However having been raised in a loving home with a Momma who was patient and kind and taught me to make good choices is the model I had.

      You have done a nice job of expressing concerns and issues that we as Momma's face. My 'baby' is now grown and she is an awesome Mom to my two grandsons.

      Angels are on the way to you this morning. ps

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Hi mathira!

      Thank you so much for your kind comment. It is so good to hear that you treasure your motherhood and that you have such a close relationship with your daughter.

      Bless you :)

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      Adored your hub as I treasure my role a mother. I am my daughter's best friend and she shares her innermost feelings with me. I consider it as the best compliment she can give me. Voted up!

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Hi Rajan!

      Thanks for your comment. I think you have it there. Let's get the message out.

      Bless you :)

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      The crux is that moms do it right, their kids think the world of them but moms just keep fretting if they parented right. Rest assured, Moms!!

      The excellent video says it all.

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Thank you Andrea!

      I definitely cried when I saw it. That's one of the reasons why I wanted to share it. And then it inspired the article I have written here. It seems so important to me. I'm so glad it's beginning to reach out and connect with other women.

      Bless you :)

    • profile image

      Andrea Tomms 3 years ago

      Yes! Yes! Yes! That's soooo beautiful. I warn anyone else who watches the video to have some kleenex handy. Pretty good therapy for this mum. Great quotes too. This is going on my facebook! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Hi AliciaC!

      Thanks so much for your kind words. That's really supportive. I do so think that this message is important - I've known it myself and I've seen others go through it. In most cases it is just a case of reassurance that's needed; just someone to say, "Hey, you're okay."

      If this video and article goes some small way towards that for some young Moms, I'll be very happy.

      Bless you :)

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a lovely article for moms. It's full of reassurance and great advice!

    • stuff4kids profile image
      Author

      Amanda Littlejohn 3 years ago

      Thanks for your kind words, Bill.

      I think you're right enough. Mine are grown up now, but I do remember the doubts and anxieties. The key thing I want young mothers to realize today is that, even with all the new pressures, they should go easy on themselves. They're mostly doing a great job. A wonderful job. And I hope this video helps folks realize that.

      Thanks again for watching/reading and commenting.

      Bless you :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beautiful perspectives. Being a mother is the toughest and most important job on Earth.