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How to Deal with Disrespectful Teenagers

Updated on February 10, 2017

Dealing with teenagers is not an easy task, and to add up to your woes when a teenager gets disrespectful with his parents! Just can’t imagine. Though my child is just 10 years old, I sometimes wonder how that period would be dealt by me, when he gets 14 and above. Looking at the way I lose my patience for small, small things and not ready to accept any mistakes of his; I sometimes wonder how bad things would get for me in the future. So it’s like a wake-up call when you know what is about to enter in your life after a couple of year. I just wish I can get myself ready for those teenage years of my child and be ready to handle up the pressure. Times have changed and so are the views and opinions for each and every age group. Nowadays even six to seven years old act up like teenagers. They want to dress up like them, talk like them and then thanks to internet, books, movies, TV Serials and online media which helps them to learn everything that they shouldn’t at this age. Well! Let’s come back on the topic!

The whole point is nowadays children know more than what they should be knowing. Which in turn makes them worse while dealing with a situation. Though being small age-wise, they still try to act like a grown-up. The reason for this is because they know a lot about getting hurt or also about trying to connect and relate things to one another. If a teen gets disrespectful with his parents, then the reason could just be one or the same. With such disrespectful children, conflicts are like an everyday issue, for such children are just not ready to accept anything that is not done their way. All one can imagine is an arena of endless arguments, conflict of opinions, struggle to be a winner and a successful parent and coping up with the building pressure day by day. But to tell the truth, it can actually get easy to deal with a disrespectful teenager, if parent really understand their teenager very well.

Being Disrespectful with a Teen’s Point of View

If we see this with a teen’s point of view, then seldom you would find the behavior to be disrespectful, in fact for them it’s more like a way of telling parents what they want actually. Its more like their way of handling the situation or their way of expressing their emotions.

Common reasons why a teen may get disrespectful

There are certain common reasons why a teen may get disrespectful. Parents really need to be aware of these reasons for a better understanding and dealing with a teenager. If a parent really wants to find positive ways for how to deal with disrespectful teenagers, learn these common reasons such as:

1. Misunderstanding between teenagers and their parents

2. Feeling of revenge if certain parent behavior hurts badly

3. A feeling of being unwanted or undesired

4. If constantly criticized by parents for behavior or any other reason

5. A feeling of insecurity

6. Frustration

7. A feeling of non-acceptance by parents

8. Lack of respect

9. Strict parents

10. No freedom

11. Bullying

12. Parents being over-concerned or over-involved in certain issues

13. Too much of interference from parents

14. Helicopter parents

15. Lack of manners. A child being spoiled by over pampering and over caring to such an extent that he or she just gets disrespectful and doesn’t care about anything.

16. Parental conflict. This is a situation where all is not well between both the parents and it is gone accepted by children. The constant fighting and abusive environment within the house gets on nerves for teens who then act disrespectful.

17. Disrespectful parents.

18. Bad company

19. When a child is not heard

20. A feeling of loneliness

So these are few of the common reasons that I could come up with, but I am sure there could be more to add to this list. And finally everybody have few of their reasons to add to. Now once you really understand why a teenager may get disrespectful then you really understand how to deal with such a situation. Every situation has its own way to deal with finally!

Analyze the Situation and act accordingly

Firstly it’s important to know why a child may behave so disrespectfully. As mentioned above there could be n number of reasons for such behavior. Once you understand why a teen behaves so, you know how to handle the situation. For instance, if a teen feels insecure or unwanted by his parents, parents can work out to make them feel secure.

Listen to your teenager

Very often parents jump to conclusions without even hearing out what their teenager wishes to say. Allow the child to speak and express his feelings towards a behavior and then decide what to do about it. Don’t jump to conclusions without getting to know his or her say

Learn to gather lot more patience

A situation can be handled in a safer and healthier manner if a parent deals with it with lot more patience. A decision taken in haste and anger could help no one.

Be there for your child

If your child feels insecure or unloved from his parents, then there is definitely something wrong which needs to be handled carefully. Don’t let your child feel that he is unwanted or uncared for. Be there for him and support him whenever he needs you. Even a simple hug can say a lot of things and provide a lot of comfort to your child.

Spend quality time together

It is important to take out some time from your busy schedule to spend it out with your teens qualitatively. In this case, it could also mean an enjoyable weekend outing or even a watching movie together plan or even a shopping trip.

Learn the art of saying NO

If you have been pampering your child all way long and the over-pampering ahs lead to disrespectful children then somewhere down the line it’s your fault. Though you feel responsible for this, now it’s not too late to mend things. The word “NO” has lot of power to it, and even if you missed out on this till today, maybe you should just start saying it from now on! Stick to it, once you say it and though it may get difficult in the beginning, you would definitely find out later how it helped you to get some positive results.

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    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 6 months ago from India

      Totally agreeing on this one thumbi7

    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 4 years ago from India

      Very wise and thoughtful advice.

      Parent's role is extremely important in handling teenager problems.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 4 years ago from India

      Thanks Wilderness for bookmarking the topic.. I am sure this info will definitely come handy for your grandchildren :)

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 4 years ago from India

      Thanks Weasdi for visiting and liking the topic

    • wilderness profile image

      Dan Harmon 4 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      Some great thoughts and tips here - bookmarked for future use. My grandchildren aren't at the age and period yet, but it is fast approaching and some of the signs are there already.

      Your hub will come in handy soon, I fear - thanks!

    • profile image

      weasdi 5 years ago

      nice topic

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Thanks Halloweenman..Yeah even I feel strongly the same about few parents who really shy away from the reality until it get on their nerves. Thanks for visiting..

    • profile image

      Halloweenman 5 years ago

      Very vital topic that most parents shy away from thinking the problem would correct itself. Disrespectful teens are a parents worst nightmare. Great choice of topic!

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Yes VendettaVixen...I totally agree with you. I think we create a big blunder about those teens who are disrespectful. Rather we forget to appreciate those teens who are quite descent and respectful with their parents. In fact I guess family and the environment in which the kid grows up to a teenager is responsible for how the kid shape up into. But we have to agree not all teens are disrespectful. In fact I see many teens in my neighborhood who are not only quiet, but sober, pleasant and no, I wouldn't call them boring at all. They are good enough to pay respect to their parents and focus on goals. And finally a little fun is just what every one of us needs.

      Thanks for visiting

    • VendettaVixen profile image

      VendettaVixen 5 years ago from Ireland

      I think if a child and their parent(s) have a good relationship before the child reaches his/her teen years, then the parent(s) really have nothing to worry about. Of course, their'll be arguments, but if you've had a good relationship up until this point in time, it's likely because the adult is good at both listening and saying no when they need to, and therefore know how to deal with their child.

      If the mother and/or father just keep doing that, then it should all go well. I think a lot of parents worry about their "baby" growing up, and try to hold on too tightly to them, which leads to the teen rebelling more, which leads to arguments. It's all about give and take. Just remember that a teenager will want more freedom, because they're in a hurry to grow up.

      By the way, Fellow, don't worry - we're not all horrible, disrespectful little monsters. ;)

      My friends and I aren't exactly teenagers anymore, but durring our adolescent years we were very quiet, weren't into partying all night, and were really quite pleasant. You just hear about the nightmare teens more because people much rather gossip about wild, uncontrollable kids than boring kids who do what they're told.

      Anyway, this was a really interesting hub with a lot of great points on how to deal with troublesome teens. I'll be looking forward to your next post.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Yes AUPADHYAY..you are right about it! If each and every parent will have the same viewpoint then there won't be any disrespectful teenagers to handle.. Thanks for reading!

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Yes tillsontitan, the most important part that contributes for teens not being disrespectful is a good and sound relationship between a child and parent right from the beginning.. Thanks for visiting!

    • AUPADHYAY profile image

      ANIL KUMAR UPADHYAY 5 years ago from INDIA, UTTAR PRADESH STATE, KANPUR CITY

      It's all depends on the parents as how they are handling the situation. The age of teenagers is somewhat showing that they are like a sphere of wet soil. The shape whatever may be given to it will decide their future. Teenagers are having their nature and behaviour in such a way that they are every time ready to oppose the things which according to them does not fit for their desire. The matured parents brilliantly handle this situation. Over all, a nice hub. I appreciate it.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      I think being there for your child is important. If you have a good relationship with your child before he becomes a teenager and he knows you are there for him he will hopefully accept the rules better and you can reason with him. Good article.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Listening to kids is very important, because they to have a lot to express. But listening and agreeing with everything they have to say can over-pamper them and spoil them. Thanks for visiting prairieprincess..

    • prairieprincess profile image

      Sharilee Swaity 5 years ago from Canada

      This is great advice and it offers very balanced advice. On the one hand, listen to your kids. On the other hands,learn to say no. Excellent!

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Yes kerlynb..kids usually learn from their parents and tend to pickup the same lines as their parents do. So if you want your child not to be disrespectful, you too should be eligible enough to gain respect. Thanks for reading!

    • kerlynb profile image

      kerlynb 5 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

      "17. Disrespectful parents." - I can't agree more with you. Parents oftentimes play a crucial role in influencing kids. If they shout, scream, or cuss, then kids are likely to pick up these bad attitudes.