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How to Gain Popularity Among Everyone

Updated on July 6, 2010

Your Social Life Guideline

To all readers out there, this is speaking from my own personal experience, from how I became an introvert to how I became an extrovert which I truly find out what type of person I really am. Also, this article will help you to discover what kind of person you really are. So, if you are that is having problems with social life, I believe this article will truly help you!

My Personal Story

Here's part of my personal story;
I was a huge attention seeker back in the past then, I just wanted to stand out of the crowd and be the most popular person. Yet, I failed to do so at all times, I couldn't understand why and gained much unpopularity instead. I tried telling jokes, but no one could appreciate whatever that I was talking about. I tried to get along with the crowd, but there was a part of me who was so scared what others may think about me if I happen to say the wrong thing at the wrong timing.

With the increase amount of failures in social situations, it led me to think a lot more before I dare to talk something in the past, cause I was afraid of being identified as a joke/clown, or people didn't understand what I said, never did I know that, the more I think before I dare to talk about something, the worst the situation actually turns out to be. I don't know if it applies to you, but one thing that was killing me the most was Self Consciousness.

The Definition of Self Conscious is an action of being aware of yourself as an individual or of your own being and actions and thoughts as quoted from wikipedia.

Under such circumstances, one would usually think a lot about their own actions before proceeding with it, nevertheless, they don't know that this is the worst thing to ever do during socializing. Just like for me, I always thought that I was a funny person, but I was so self conscious and I couldn't be who I really am, and thus I make a lot of bad impressions for people I knew back in the past then. Below are proven guidelines that will help you be more confident and outgoing in social situations.

Realize What Type Of Person You Really Are

It's important to know what type of person you really are, if you think you are funny, don't be afraid to release the funny side of you, if you think you're those type of quiet person, then don't bother about what other people think about you! Remember, self consciousness is the killer for all types of conversations, I always remind this to myself daily till it finally got into me one day, so don't even bother to think twice about what you're about/going to say, be confident of who you're, and even if you said the wrong thing, let it be, who don't make mistakes? I have much more worst experiences then you guys could think about.

Learn to Smile, Really.

Smiling is an indication that you're willing to talk to people. If you were to face a person with a gloomy face, would you even bother to carry on any type of conversation with them? That's why you should smile, but please, smile only at the appropriate times. I have been told in the past that I always produce a frowning face wherever I go, and people often tell me that's the reason why people don't want to talk to me, and I appear significantly unattractive to others. From then on, I started slowly by slowly, smiling at the appropriate times and to the appropriate people, I also always reminded myself to smile is also because of the certain facts that I research and found out that smiling is healthier for my health, and frowning requires more energy than smiling. So why frown? Start smiling!

You Cannot Be Afraid Of What Others Think About You

The moment you are afraid of how others will think about/react to you or your actions, you have lost half of the game. It's important to learn how to speak with confidence. It has been proven that the more you are afraid of what others are thinking about you, the more you will be bound to embarrassing moments in socializing situations. Once again, it links back to learning to be who you really are, if you think you haven fully become what you truly are, continue to work hard at it, and believe you will be able to find your true self, surely enough, you'll be able to succeed in a short time. It took me more than few years time to realise who I truly was, so take your time and be patient to find out your inner self.

Be Really Talkative

People don't care how handsome/pretty you look. If you don't open your mouth and talk, people will just outcast you and think that you're weird and shun you. If you're a quiet person, learn to talk more if you wish to have more friends then! One may be bound to failure during the first few steps but it is essential to know that the more you dare to try, you are climbing higher and higher into success. Perhaps just like you, I used to think that talking to people and making people laugh is one of the hardest missions in life, but I tried all kind of efforts and methods to try and talk to people, entertain them, and make them laugh! However, all my efforts were nonetheless futile.

Of course, there were attempts that I succeeded and I could get along with them, but 90% of the attempts went into failure and I was so disappointed with myself, it just ended up with so many different kinds of embarrassing moments for me! However, after many periods of thinking through, I realised that I talked to people for the sake of gaining attention and I wasn't being myself thus it could also be why I couldn't get people's attention at many point of times. Till one day, I started being myself and it just finally chanced upon me that talking to people isn't as hard as I thought after all, now I have a lot of confidence in approaching people for conversations because I am aware of the right time and the right kind of words to speak, thus if you're a shy person, start moving out from your comfort zone and start approaching people for small talks and conversations!

Tough times never last, but tough people do.

Books For Recommendation

I have summarise all the main things that could serve as a guide into short points, there was one helpbook that really taught me many things during my introvert period of time which is this book called 'How to win friends and influence people'. This book taught me many different critical success factors on what attracts people to you and how to win friends most importantly. With what was provided in the book, and with my own personal experience, I believe that with time to come, you will soon experience some life changing moments.

Also, I believe that many has heard about the book called chicken soup and the teenage soul, which is a pretty much popular book among teenagers. The main reason for its popularity is because this book covers real life experiences from the high school students, similar to my guide, it is more effective in helping bringing out changes to reader's life as we have been through the same situations just as the readers are being through now.


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    • profile image

      Sam Patel 

      7 years ago

      I have the most popularity. Why not ask me for advice.

    • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

      Lita C. Malicdem 

      9 years ago from Philippines

      As a former teacher, I have no problem with getting people relate to me. First, I see to it that I study carefully my frame of reference before plunging in to a conversation. Is he interested to listen? Does he want to talk that moment? The rest follows. If satisfied, I can lead the conversation with mutual understanding. I let the other feel that what he is telling me is just as important as what he hears from me.

      I find your tips very handy the next time I open a conversation with somebody. Thanks!

    • Chris Crow profile image

      Chris Crow 

      9 years ago

      Great article. I think I am going to try not to think about what I am going to say before I say it. I do this too often. This was a very nice reminder of that. I just added a thumbs up and a "digg." Take care.

    • noorin profile image


      9 years ago from Canada

      Good stuff, I also find that listening, paying attention to other's concerns, and being genuine also helps =) Thanks Rockstarhobbo.

    • paulkimelecu profile image


      9 years ago from philadelphia, pa

      i am very shy because I am from Korea. I can write in English well but I don't speak it well so I don't talk unless I have to. I think it really hinders my ability to make connections with people. Thanks for sharing some secrets and your story.. I'll have to try them!!!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      hmm i love popularity ... everyone know about me... :0

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      very good info.Being a good guy for everybody and that's the guide through that.Thanx...

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      you are doing a really great work!

      congrats. :)

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Very helpful site, great pieces of advices for shy peoples.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      wow ..really a help full article....


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