How to Get your teenager to fold laundry
An Unenthusiastic Teenage Nudist
“We’re going to become nudists,” I announced to Bill as I slammed the laundry door shut with my foot because my arms held the laundry basket.
“That’s the worst idea I’ve heard yet.” Bill paused in the middle of giving dinner to the dog, Cocoa. Cocoa jumped up and down, reminding him she was still waiting.
“Just in the house. I think there are laws about walking around nude outside.”
"When did you decide this?"
Bill finished scooping the canned food into her dish, tried to tap the last bit off the spoon, then gave up and set the spoon on the floor with the dish.
“Since I realized I can’t keep up with the laundry in this house.” I held up the overloaded laundry basket and a pair of underwear fell off. “Pick that up for me, will you?”
“Yuck. It’s dads.”
He picked it up with the tips of his fingers and tossed it on the basket. Several socks fell off the other side.
“Besides, I do my own laundry,” Bill protested.
“No kidding. Then you pile it on the laundry table and leave it there. Do you have any clothes in your room?” I set the basket on the kitchen table.
“Not really.” Bill put the lid back on the dog food can and put it back in the refrigerator.
“Fine. You’re becoming a nudist with us.”
“Mom, I don’t want to see my family naked.”
“Not naked, nude.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Don’t they teach you anything useful at school? Naked is embarrassing. Nude is artistic.”
“We’re not artistic.”
“I don’t see why we’re ashamed of our bodies. God gave them to us.”
“Well, we are, and it all started with Adam and Eve, remember?”
“So they’re the ones responsible for the entire fashion industry, sweat shops, panty hose and anorexia. Let’s protest all that and become nudists. Celebrate our bodies.” I leaned down, picked up the socks and wiggled them at him.
“Is this your way of getting me to help you fold laundry?” Bill’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“Are you offering?”
“Only if we never speak of this again.”
“Fine.” I pointed to the basket. “I expect this basket folded in fifteen minutes or someone’s going to start stripping.”