Being The Mother Of A Tween Who's Now A Teen
Ahh the ups and downs of tweenhood!!
Becoming a mom at 40+ years
I remember the Bee Gees, The Rolling Stones, Dr. Hook and all the other too numerous to list artists that I used to sing along with, fall in love with and aggravate my parents with. Oh boy, those were the good old days. That was when music actually had words to it you could understand and didn't have to be labeled according to age appropiate. I think the worst I ever snuck around and listened to was " Strokin" by Clarence Carter. The worst movie I ever saw was "The Exorcist" and I had to sneak in the car trunk to get in the drive-in. I think back now and wonder where those times of innocence went. The days when the clothes our parents dreaded were just halter tops and hip huggers.
I married early and my children grew up in the eighties. The word "Tween " had not yet been invented. Either you were still a child or you passed 13 and into the la la land that was being a teenager. Their childhood was pretty quiet and uneventful. My girls loved Madonna and so did I, my son Jesse could have cared less. Thank God for the school dress code which kept their skirts and dresses at a decent length and their navels covered. There were kids who hung together in what we called the clicks, but nothing like the gangs of today. We had the usual argument about curfew and such but nothing major. I honestly feel I made it through motherhood unscathed and thanked God when my last sparrow married and left the nest. Ahh peace and quiet and time for me now!! YES!! Or at least that was what I thought, destiny had other plans.
At 45 I met someone with whom I started a relationship, one with benefits. Along with him came a little boy 2 1/2 years old. He was adorable, big black eyes, and jet black hair with the perfect color of olive skin. He smiled and laughed and talked alot. I was taken immediately. After all it couldn't be that hard, I had done this 4 times before. what I failed to realize was that my youngest was now 29, times have changed, and this adorable little child would grow up..into a TWEEN!!
There were the wonder years say between, 2 and 5 years old when "mommy" is their world. Then of course the 5 year old period, with the 1st day of school. You can't remember who cried more "you or him". Then its over. From 6 up say once their in the second grade, forget it.
No more kissing them bye when you drop them off at school, it embarrasses them in front of their new friends. It is in the next few years that you realize they are no longer your baby, not in their eyes anyway. it is defineately more heartbreaking for you than for them.
The terrible tween appears somewhere in the realm of 8 to 12 years old. In my case it was eight. All of the sudden I noticed a change in the sweet natured child that used to live with me. In his place was a obnoxious, I'm old enought to do what I want, know it all tween that I didn't recognize, much less like. This little creature doesn't even like "Bob The Builder". Who are you and what have you done with my child?
Then followed the 10 gallons of hair gel on his hair to make it spikey like "Antonios' " another tween in his class. NO! You are wearing your hair standing straight up to school and pull up those pants. Fights over girls, not doing homework, listening to love songs, who is this person who has taken over my sons body?
He no longer eats meat, is a vegetarian, and recycles. He listens to "Lady Gaga, Justin Beaver, and all kind of weird songs. You can't say anything to him without getting an answer back, every no is answered with an "but all my friends do it." To which my reply is the same you are not your friends. "I'm not a baby anymore" you will always be my baby. Back and forth we go, over the most trival things. His room looks like hurricane Katrina hit it head on and all he wants to do is play his xbox or watch tv. Please tell me the teenage years will be better, even though I know better.
Sometimes I stare deep into this little persons eyes and ask "who are you, what didi you do with my son?" then he smiles that beautiful smile, the one I recognize and says" It's me mom, your son". I look into his eyes and realize he is the same precious little boy I have loved and always will. He is just coming into his own.
I love you son!!!
From Tween To Teen
If I thought it was hard being the mother of a tween at 40 I had no idea what being 50 and having a teen was going to be like. This is not what i remember teenagers being like. I am now no longer mommy or mom, it's ma....uuuggghhh.
Knock on my door before you come in my room...WHAT??? Be quiet I'm on the computer with my friends, I don't want to go anywhere I want to play my game. I'm killing zombies.
Now my tween is a teen and has discovered girls among other things. Got his heart broke for the first time last week. "ma why are girls like that"? Like what i replied. She just said she wants to breakup, I ask why and all she said was because. Don';t worry son thats the way teenage love is, you'll find someone better.
Ma why do some girls have big boobs and some don't? Hormones son. "Whats that ma? Ohhh go ask your dad. you're 13 why are you looking at boobs anyway? I know your a boy but thats too much information for me.
Somebody please tell me I don't really have 5-6 years of this to do.
But he's a great kid, straight a's, perfect attendance. But do they really leave the nest at 18???
I love you son, million questions and all and I am so proud of you.