ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice»
  • Parenting Advice & Tips

How to Show Love to a Child

Updated on September 20, 2014

Who is explaining what? To whom?

Is it, "son that is the Pacific Ocean" or is it "Dad that is where fish live!" Hopefully it is both and both are better off for the experience.
Is it, "son that is the Pacific Ocean" or is it "Dad that is where fish live!" Hopefully it is both and both are better off for the experience. | Source

Words are not enough.

Show your love to a child and they will learn to show love in return. Treat a child with love and they will feel loved. Love a child without showing it and they will learn not to show their love. Love a child like an adult and you have serious issues. Love a child as you would want to be loved - if you were that child. Lessons learned are loved if we can own them ourselves.

Just how silly can you be? Try to be too silly for a 4 year old. It is easy to be too silly for an 8 year old. You would be surprised how much most 17 year old children love silly (in privacy of course ;-)

Just how generous can you be? No not with your money but with your time. Is the game or are chores more important. Can you live with a not so perfect house and spend cleaning time making it messy time? Is it really that important that a child learn to pick up everything as opposed to you doing it part of the time? Much of kids' stuff is boring and childish, can you be bored and juvenile?

Lessons? There are two types of lessons: One we must learn as lessons of life and the other as lessons to become proficient at certain skills. Can we as adults make both of these painless? No we cannot, but by showing the love we can make them both less painful. Think empathy and reward.

Us against the world! Can you be a team player rather than just the boss? Can you be the captain instead of the commander? One part of us needs to just be the buddy you can count on to have your back.

Have you ever told a child that they were the wind beneath your wings and that they lift you up, to be better than you can be?

There were two men.

One was an adoptive father and the other the son. The father had 2 Phd's and an MD. The son only a doctorate. The father an accomplished professional and the son a man struggling to find his way.

Before the father died at 90 years old he wrote his son a note and mailed it off. It simply said "You are the best teacher I ever had", Dad.

Please write that note off today before you are 90.

Sometimes a hat and a shirt creates a hero

Just go ahead and guess who this fire captain's fire truck was!
Just go ahead and guess who this fire captain's fire truck was! | Source

Silliness.

It is darned hard sometimes to laugh at childish humor. It is hard sometimes to play the clown and the slapstick sidekick. Sometimes you just do not feel like puffing out you cheeks, closing one eye and pulling your ears toward your forehead while standing on one leg.

Tickling a little monkey until they say quit -- and then a little, not too much but a little more takes gentleness and a loving hand. Adults do not like to be tickled. They lose control and giggle and squirm so they do not like it at all. How sad a commentary is that? But little ones have no control to lose and love squirming (it is something they do best) and all kids love to giggle. Seems like a little thing but what better way to show love to a little one.

Have you ever heard a child giggle all by themselves? Of course you have, but have you stopped what you are doing to go find out what makes that giggle? Try it sometime you may find an excuse to giggle yourself and you may find out some more silliness to help you show your love more. Remember we are trying to be empathetic here.

Alright maybe I went too far with my three older ones.

Seven college degrees between them and I still cannot take them to dinner. Oh well I tried!
Seven college degrees between them and I still cannot take them to dinner. Oh well I tried! | Source

Are you too hung up on being an adult?

Can you make a silly face and laugh at yourself

See results

Spend your money over there, spend your time over here.

It just takes time. As a parent plan on hearing at least 300 really boring stories in your year. They say a child can ask 3,000 questions in one day, let us see: 12 waking hours in a day. 60 minutes in an hour. That would be 720 minutes so would require about 4 questions a minute. Take my word for it that is easy to do! And that includes answers.

(on a recent hike this author noted 5 questions and 3 declaratory statements in one minute, try it, it is easy.)

This takes about thirty seconds: Why do birds fly? Are bees birds? Why is grass green? Is that a jet or an airplane? Is that a rock or a stone? That is a big stick. I want that flower for mommy. I can run faster than that lizard.

If you cannot deal with this then perhaps you cannot show your love. It takes time and patience. And great effort to show them. Just Do It!

Initial try at hide and go seek.

Back to the drawing board
Back to the drawing board | Source

Lessons

As stated earlier there are two kinds of lessons. Study lessons and life lessons. Let us say this first and foremost. Let your child own those lessons. Let them be their accomplishments and not yours and tell them so. This is huge for the big "let go" and even huger (if that is a word) for self esteem. Yes sometimes you must enforce the suffering. But let go and let the accomplishment be their own. Let them own it and praise them for learning the lesson.

Most of us live in a community property state which means husband and wife both reap the benefits of the other's hard work. Children should learn about that concept but they are just starting to see themselves as themselves and need to outright own some of their own hard work or the bruises of a lesson learned the hard way. Give it to them. They deserve it.

This is sometimes tough love, yes, tough on your own ego. But give it up. "You did that all by yourself" are five great words to hear for anyone.

Note the next section seems opposite so understand there is a balance.

Even you can fake it until you make it!

Are we a team or what?

Sometimes we just want to feel a part of. Be a team player, suffer with the suffering and rejoice in the newness of success. Get into it. Be a part of the feelings that can change in ten seconds. Celebrate happiness and success. Tear up in failure and distress. Be part of the team that is your child's world. When they come home after a friend has hurt their feelings -- darn it fix comfort food and give hugs in abundance. After all the friend hurt your feelings also. Do not always be Mrs. fix it. Sometimes just share the defeat or the joy.

We do not always have to be the director, the producer and the actor. Sometimes we need to involve ourselves in someone else's drama and accept it for what it is.

Hey there inside.

If you read this all the way to here, I love you for it. It builds my self esteem and makes me happy. Thank you and have a great day!

It cannot hurt to read this book

This ain't no boilerplate

This article was written by Eric Dierker. I reserve all rights to this article and desire no duplication without attribution. On the other hand feel free to share the content just let folks know where it came from. Copying it and claiming it as your own would be stupid and subject you to my legal harassment of you. Besides if someone asked you what it meant you would not know so yes it is copyright protected as original work by me. Just leave a comment to ask to use it elsewhere and please share it.

To read more by this fascinating author visit www.thedierkerblog.com, Eric Dierker on Facebook and Pinterest and my sweet blog resipsaloquitor on google blogs.

OK I admit it, I need more publicity. If you steal this content please let me know so I can make a big deal out of it and get some press time.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      LOL....yesserri!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Ed, such praise from you is truly appreciated, but let us give it all to the kids (humans not Billygoats -- although they are cool too)

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      There is no better hub here today my man ! Yes , For the love of children ! Amazing . and I love your copy write warning too LOL......Ed

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you much Jaye. I was very lucky, that through no fault of my own I learned the lesson long before "too late". Number four is getting the benefits for sure.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mel ain't it the truth. those pesky peckish teenage years are a challenge. But somehow I made it through with three and a fourth on the way to teens before I know it. Yikes!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 3 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Eric - You are obviously a fantastic dad! Far too many parents don't learn the lesson that what a child needs is their time and love rather than what can be bought with money...until it's too late. Thanks for sharing that lesson on HubPages.

      Voted Up++++

      Jaye

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 3 years ago from San Diego California

      For me it is easy to love them at the very young age. I remember chasing my three year old around the living room singing Hakuna Matata. The challenging part is when they reach their teens. That is when we find out if we really have parenting skills. Great advice and beautiful words, my friend.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you much Dora (this comment just now showed up for me - strange) What a fantastic quote. Thank you for adding it here.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you for adding such a great comment to this hub ChitrangadaSharan. Children do seem to thrive on love more easily than adults.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Love and care is the only thing, the child wants to have from the parents.

      And they understand true love, better than adults.

      Very nice hub, as always!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Very important message, Eric. "They don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." --Credited to Theodore Roosevelt, fully explained by Eric Dierker

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you ologsinquito, yes I do indeed and I actually do practice what I preach.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      This is beautiful. I think we should all take your advice, because you seem to have a good relationship with all of your children. Voted up and shared.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Denise definitely the "no big deals" part of growing older is one of the blessings.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Awesome! When I was a young parent, I felt like I had to be the director of the play. Now, as a grandparent, I find myself with your philosophy of life and love. It is interesting how we mellow out as we get older. We realize that some things are just not important any more!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      What a beautiful addition to this Hub. It sounds wonderful. Thank you Marlene.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Beautiful! I just came back from delivering my teenage grandson to his mother. He was with my husband and me for some "down" time. He needed a lot of loving to help pull himself out of a slump into which he had fallen. So, all we did was love him - no rules - no chores - nothing but love, being silly, talking, crying, laughing, whatever he needed at the moment. It was a rewarding time for me, as well. Just reading your hub right now makes me glad to have spent that time in peace and love. Like the song says, "All you need is love."

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks much Billy. No amount of giving love can equal the return.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Right on, buddy! The greatest gift we can give a child..the greatest gift we can give anyone....love!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you DDE, yes indeed it all starts with family.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Any child needs love from a parent after all love starts to show from the home of all families. A very important aspect of life.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Faith. I can hardly wait!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, I can tell you that the grands are truly GRAND and a special kind of love that no words can describe! I do hope you are blessed even more so with many grands one day. They will be blessed beyond measure to have you as a grandpa no doubt : )

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you much Faith for all your support. I just need those older ones to start with the grand kids. I just love children!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you John, my little one helped write it as you can see ;-)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Beautiful insight into how to love a child, dear Eric. This has touched my heart and I just love all of your photos. You're the man! Looks like all of your children have been shown love the right way!

      Voted up and across, tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

      Hugs and love to you and yours always

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Terrific hub Eric. Nothing really to say other than well done. You nailed it.