ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Build Trust in a Relationship Using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?

Updated on November 24, 2017
Nitika Mehra profile image

Nitika is a psychologist and has been working with an NGO, a school and two online counseling platforms.

The fear of the unknown haunts us sometimes.

Sometimes we find it difficult to trust our significant other. It might be due to mistakes in past, our own insecurities or complexes or just a pattern of thinking. Having trust issues affects the romantic bond in a negative way and mental peace of both individuals in the relationship. Researches have shown that when a partner feels less trusted by his/her significant other, he experiences a low esteem and often feel embarrassment when this thing is evident to the people related to them.

Some indications that there may be a trust issue in your relationship.

  1. One or both partners try to snoop into the phones of each other or keep check of the belongings of the other.
  2. Cross question their partner on various situations in which they feel that he or she may not have behaved according to their level of expectation.
  3. Reading/browsing articles like,” How to know your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating?”
  4. Discussing about their partners behavior with others.
  5. Experiencing anxiety when your partner is unreachable through phone or late from work.
  6. Getting jealous when he or she compliments other person of the opposite sex.
  7. Doing loyalty tests on them, by texting them from unknown numbers or hiring someone else to do that.

All these signs show you may be a victim of high insecurity or lack of trust on your partner. I will share simple tips which will help you step by step to build trust in your relationship and confidence in self.

Take good care of self and indulge in nature. Let go all your insecurities and walk towards the happier and peaceful way of life.

The Essential four

  1. Cultivate high self-esteem. Sometimes we lack self confidence and keep comparing ourselves to others and hence see every good looking person as a threat to the relationship. We should have love for ourselves and should have trust that our partner has been with us in a relationship and not others.
  2. Do what you love. "An ideal mind is a devil's workshop", hence instead of cultivating thoughts that involve illogical doubt and anxiety over baseless matters, we should keep our mind busy in activities that keep us happy and offer a sense of self worth and accomplishment. We felt delighted when we are appreciated for our skills and hobbies and sometimes it leads to a rediscovery of ourselves. If I express my opinion as a teenager I had many problems and conflicts in my life which kept me anxious and annoyed most of the time. This didn't give it time to do something new and constructive. I felt falling in a spiral of dysfunctional relationships and killing of time. As I grew up, I realised that either we can play the unadvantaged one in our own life and circumstances or can take control and turn the situation around. From that point I have experienced immense growth and real happiness in life and I continue to learn new things and excel in some of them. So it be it a guitar tutorial or a baking class. Spend time doing something you love and be creative with your abilities!
  3. Learn to let go things and see the results. When we suspect our partner, our natural reaction is to confront them from time to time and keep finding proofs so that we can prove ourselves right. But I want to tell you that many of our fears and suspicions in our life never happen in real. Instead what happens is that, the quality of the relationship keeps decreasing. Until we have a solid proof that our relationship/parent is not trustworthy, we should not talk to our partner in a condemning or confronting tone. We can talk our feelings out that we are having this kind of insecurity or tell them to clear our doubts.
  4. Accept the fact that if somebody has to cheat then our restrictions or cross questioning won't stop them from doing so.I have witnessed several relationships in which the partner try to control each other and they think that they will be protecting their relationship like this. But we all know in our heart that it is not true. A human cannot remain in boundation for long if he does not really want to

So in the end I would like to conclude that we should not let this fear of losing someone or being cheated by someone overpower us. We should know how to trust and should also be strong enough to move away from a relationship which is really not meant to be trusted. Till that point we should be happy and content with our partners and always try o focus on the good in them.

You can't love anyone else completely, unless you love yourself.

Have you ever had trust issues in your relationship?

See results

Did you find this article helpful?

See results

© 2017 Nitika Mehra

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)