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How to determine if one child is enough for you?

Updated on December 10, 2015

Is one child enough?

Determining if one child is enough or not can cause some hurt feelings in a relationship. This is a serious family issue that needs attention and discussion. Not only does the idea of having just one child affect the parents, it also may cause hurt feelings from the only child in the family. This article is to help couples come to a solution on how they will determine if one child is enough and fix any hurt feelings or problems that may occur.

While one parent may be completely satisfied with having only one child, the other parent may be upset that their spouse doesn’t want anymore kids. This relationship problem may cause a great distance between the couple. Many parents that are unhappy with just having one child will distance themselves away from their spouse and feel they have no say in the matter. Without communicating with their spouse, this problem of only having one child will not be solved until they reach an agreement. The issue will only eat on the other parent and he/she may feel like they are not worthy enough to make and raise another child with their husband or wife.

Communication is a huge key factor in building strong, healthy and happy relationships. Couples need to learn to acknowledge each others feelings and be open to the different options of satisfying each other’s needs and wants. There may be very important reasoning behind why one parent only wants to have one child. The other parent that wants more children needs to talk to her/his spouse to find out why they only want to have one child. For an example, maybe during the birth of the first and only child, the husband or wife had a bad experience and they don’t want to go through the same process with their next child. Maybe there are financial reasoning behind the idea of having only one child. Listen to your spouse and try to understand her or his point of view on why they only want to have one child.

Parents need to take in all factors and consequences of having more than one child.
If you are debating on if you should have another child, you need to sit down with your spouse and communicate with each other. Talk about what is also best for your first and only child that you have. What does your “only child” want? He or she may want a little brother or sister right now, but what happens if they don’t get what they want? What if your only child wants to have a little brother and the child turns out to be the opposite sex? Is your child going to love his/her brother or sister the same?

Your child’s feelings need to be taken into consideration when you and your spouse are deciding on having another child. Although the main decision is completely up to you and your spouse, you need to try to find a solution to any hurt feelings that may occur. Your child may feel all alone as an only child and would like to have someone to play with. You should explain to your only child the reasoning behind why he or she doesn’t already have a brother or sister. There are other options to consider if your husband or wife doesn’t want to have anymore children.

You can talk to your spouse about adopting a child. Adopting a child can ease any fear of the labor process that may have happened during the birth of your first child.
You can also babysit a baby to see if having another child is what you and your family really wants. Find out how your family will react to having another child temporarily in the home. Another option to consider is finding a new family hobby that you and your family can do to ease your mind of having another child at home. If none of the alternatives work for you or your spouse, just give it time. People change and they also change their minds. The main things to remember when there is a relationship problem is communication, consideration and patience.


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    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image

      Ruchi Urvashi 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      very useful information. I have one child and my husband and me both agree that our family is complete. There are some questions that rise while talking to family friends and this article is a good overview of some of the concerns that come while raising one or two kid.

    • jacqui2011 profile image


      7 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      Great hub and so true. The key is communication and talking over how you feel with your husband/partner. I waited six years after having my first child before we decided to have a second baby. Great information here. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and useful.


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