- Family and Parenting
How to bring up your only child?
‘If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child’- Linda sunshine
Is your child problematic?
Does he\she not listen to you?
Is he\she a spoiled brat?
Does he\she not like sharing things with others and is very selfish?
His\her tiresome behavior is a typical case of one child syndrome!
One child syndrome was something unheard of in my times. We were four children to our mother and we did not have a lonely childhood. We were more of friends and to this day I think yearningly of the Sundays when we used to play all sorts of indoor and outdoor games. We used to fight, laugh and thoroughly enjoy ourselves. There was no computer or TV to eat into our time together.
Can you see such affinity among siblings in today’s world? The world has totally changed and the main sufferer is relationship. Due to the hectic life style most couples opt for a single child. You feel that it is better to have a single child and bring him\her up well, than to have more children and struggle to make both ends meet.
Are you correct or wrong in opting for a single child?
Is it advantageous or disadvantageous?
Everything in life has its own pros and cons.
What are the pros of a single child?
- You can concentrate more on him\her.
- You give him\her the best things in life
- Since he\she has you all for himself\herself he\she feels your love, uncontested.
What are the cons of a single child?
- He\she refuses to share.
- He\she refuses to adjust.
- He\she becomes too self centered and is selfish.
- He\she does not mingle with others easily.
- He\she does not have anyone to share his\her feelings after you have gone.
It is true that bringing up a child is no easy joke. It is tougher when you have a single child. In actual fact one child or many children does not matter. It is the way you mold his\her characteristics that decides as to what sort of a person he\she is going to evolve into.
Nowadays you concentrate on providing your child with the best education and other latest things available in the market and literally bring up your children with extraordinary wellbeing.
But have you told him\her about nurturing relationship?
Have you ever told him\her to respect elders?
Have you ever inculcated in him\her a sense of sharing?
I am afraid most of you are more inclined to make your children aware of the importance of money rather than of relationship. This is the reason why you see your child being adamant, selfish and unwilling to share anything with others in his\her young age itself. When you give him\her everything, he\she grows up without knowing the value of money.
When you always listen to his\her persistent demands, he\she learns the art of emotional blackmail and literally threaten you into having things done his\her way. This is not the way to bring him\her up as he\she grows up to be quiet a handful. You are worried and upset as to how to handle your spoilt brat!
My daughter was also a single child and she suffered a lot in her childhood because of our financial downfall. She could not enjoy even her basic childish wishes as we struggled to make both ends meet. But what we were unable to provide materialistically, we more than made it up by being her best friends.
‘Consider you lucky, darling’ I told her. She looked baffled. ‘You are suffering at an age when you do not have any personal wishes. You now know the value of money and you will never make the mistakes we made. This is just a passing phase in your life and time will come when you too will enjoy the best things in life’, I kissed with love.
‘You have an edge over others in that you will be humble and caring to the needy as you know the pain of having nothing.’ This is the long advice I always give her when she was a child and now she is a confident girl, very successful professionally, very caring emotionally and also friendly and adjustable.
It is very essential that your only child be taught adjustability and the beauty of sharing. Do not spoil him\her by buying him\her whatever he\she demands. If you do so, he\she grows up thinking that life is easy and he\she can have everything without having to work for it.
It is up to you to mold your only child into a person of good characteristics. Love him\her and teach him\her to love others. Teach him\her the value of life, the essence of relationship and the beauty of humility. Your only child can become your dream child when he\she grows up knowing the true value of human relationship.
© 2014 mathira