How to not kill your child
I am a mother to a 2 1/2 year old boy. Being the new parent that I am, and the difficulties I hit with the "terrible two's", I read every book under the son, from parent psychology to Dr. Phil (which made me want to stab my brain out of my head). Regardless of all those books, NONE and I mean NONE worked with my demonic child. Love him to death, but demonic none the less. Let me give you a little background on my son:
1. He left the house early in the morning to ride his bike in nothing but a pull-up. The neighbors came knocking to say "her husband has my son and he's watching him on the corner". Imagine my panic!
2. He got into everything under the sun, so we "baby-proofed" the house, to include the refrigerator, he's figured them all out. GO BABY PROOFING!!!
3. He likes to cook himself breakfast (with the babyproofing). He scales the counter, and attempts to cook himself eggs and pancakes one morning, amazingly didn't burn or seriously injure himself.
4. Can't take him anywhere because of the acting out, and boy oh boy, are his tantrums a force to be reckoned with.
5. He talks back, and REFUSES to listen. Reading baby book after baby book after psychology book, still doesn't listen. Taking toys away, doesn't work, schedule doesn't work, talking calmly doesn't work, yelling doesn't work. NOTHING.
So for any parents who have a difficult child, and by difficult I mean incredibly intelligent and difficult, this is for you.
So after hitting my wits end, I came up with a epiphany on how to possibly deal with my son, I started letting him do the things that older children (6 and older) would do, and to my amazement it worked miraculously.
Most parents don't want to start teaching there toddlers how to tie their shoes until they have the motor skills and comprehension skills to be able to understand and do it. Well let me tell you, its crap! Not their parenting, because all parents are great parents, but the reasoning as to why. So one day I took my son to foot locker and let him pick out two pairs of shoes, both had laces. Later that night, I sat down with him and kept his attention (fight as it was) and showed him how to tie his shoe laces. To my surprise, he sat there for hours trying to tie his laces. Granted there was plenty of frustrating moments, where he got extremely frustrated and threw a fit, but I stayed calm and did one shoe, while he did the other. It worked!!! His tantrums are now minimizing with the more difficult tasks I give him. So I recommend challenging your child beyond reason, and you will be surprised the results that come of it.
About not being able to take him anywhere because of his actions, persona, and just liking to run off, that stopped quickly to my amazement. One day in the mall with my son, he decided to pull his hand out of mine and run off amuck. After taking my shoe off and throwing it at him, after chasing him all throughout the mall, another epiphany came to mind. If the shoe laces worked with tantrums, lets try something different. So I walked over there to him, and I squatted down and got face to face with him. He knew he was in trouble because he refused to look at me. Finally, I grabbed his face and made him look at me. I said to him, "Let's make a deal". He understood and said "okay mommy". I said, "If you're good at the mall and stay by mommy's side, and I don't have to hold your hand; We will go get some pizza". He jumped up and down with excitement and I had no issues the rest of the mall shopping experience, and before we left, we ate pizza at the mall pizzeria. SO now to get him to act good in public, I offer a deal to him. If he agrees, then he will get a surprise, or candy (if at the grocery store), and it works like a charm every time!!!
When at home, I do the same thing. Yes it's like bribing, actually it pretty much is bribing, but its different every time and I offer everything in the form of a deal. If he doesn't follow through with his end of the deal he gets nothing, and I make sure that he understands that. The surprises vary from games played to treats, and this has worked better than any child psychology book I have ever bought.
2 months later, he is a different child. Believe me, he's not without his tantrums; which are by far more manageable, but listens more and I enjoy being around him more and taking him places. Who says they can't take their toddler to a movie, well I can after sticking with this method. He will sit there and enjoy the movie, without a single outburst, and without fail; IF he was good, he makes sure to remind me about our deal, and every time I follow through with it.
As a parent with a difficult child, to parents going through something similar. Don't give up quite yet, just try some of these methods and believe me you will see a noticeable difference. I did, and I am not a doctor or psychologist.