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How to not loose your temper when disciplining your child

Updated on August 6, 2012

Mastering the art of Discipline

Parents are usually finding it hard to handle one specific role that they are supposed to take as the primary source of learning for their children. This role is taking the different options on how to discipline their children. Today, parents are more pressured in finding the most efficient manner on how to provide proper discipline needed by the young ones. Given the fact that there are different elements bombarding families today, discipline is only one among the many pressures that are needed to be given attention to by parents. Although important as it is, discipline is given lesser concern by many parents today as they are already loaded down by the need to provide financially for their children and for themselves. Most often than not, parents resort to having their children's discipline be handled by teachers and other guidance experts in schools.

Sadly though, even though schools are trying the best they could to keep the children properly guided through good discipline, many are still finding it hard to provide the kind of discipline that children require of. True, the parents, being the primary teachers and guidance of the young ones play a great role on how proper discipline is implied. As mentioned by Viren Swami in her book Evolutionary Psychology: A Critical Introduction (BPS Textbooks in Psychology), the children's parents are the ones who are supposed to be the first individuals to instill the idea of morality among the young individuals.

Again, given that there are many different pressures parents must face, dealing with their children often becomes a burden that is almost impossible to handle. Pressured in their own works, it could be observed that parents become easily irritable with simple issues regarding their children's behavior. Truly pressuring as it is, parents are expected to make sure that their secular jobs and financial responsibilities do not cover up their personal parenting responsibilities to the young ones.

Understanding the fact that "children are specifically silly" due to their ignorance of what is right and what is wrong [as defined by child psychologist Robert Kail in his book Advances in Child Development and Behavior, Volume 35 ] could help parents extend their patience with their own children. There are instances when parents are required to adjust themselves towards the situation that their children could respond to so as to avoid being overloaded with irritability in handling issues with their young kids. If you are a parent needing assistance in properly implementing discipline on your child/children while facing the different pressures of your daily schedule, here are some specific points that parents could consider when dealing with their children:

(a) Clear your minds off from work pressure or other pressures when dealing with your child/children: some might say that this approach is almost close to impossible. However, if you come to think of it, a few minutes to talk with your child/children would not only provide you a chance to relax, but also would give your child a chance to relate with you and the discipline you ought to imply more responsibly.

(b) Discipline should be a culture and not a punishment: most parents think that when it comes to discipline, punishment is always a relative word to consider. The fact is, discipline refers to the idea of finding a way to establish a culture of rational thinking among children through helping them understand simple issues between right and wrong. Another helpful written work on this matter is posted at entitled “Discipline Guide”.

(c) Never apply punishment while angry:As mentioned earlier, as stressed as the parents are, it is often hard for them to separate work pressure from home pressures hence often making the children the shock absorbers of their stresses. This approach has a destructive effect on the psychological development of the young ones. Hence, it is essential for parents to makes sure that when implementing punishment as part of discipline, rationality is an important factor to consider. Warnings must be given first before punishment is applied, this will help the children understand your position in the situation and make them understand that the punishment is a clear demarcation line that creates a more definite culture of rightful development for them. When warnings have been used up, punishment should be rightfully applied. In doing so, parents should make it sure that they are not angry during the time so as not to apply unreasonable pressure on the children. Parents would only be able to handle discipline rightfully when they are thinking rationally (as mentioned by Daniel Keating in his book Nature and Nurture in Early Child Development).

These are only three of the main points that parents could use to be able to handle their responsibility of providing proper discipline to their children. Through implementing everything with love and compassion as well as the desire to make sure that their children would grow up with a morally established culture, parents would sure be able to give the guidance that their children need.


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    • carlacitarelli profile image

      carlacitarelli 6 years ago

      I agree with you, especially your #'s 2 and 3. I find that if I punish while I'm angry, it usually doesn't line up with the offense or I give out punishment that I couldn't possibly follow through with. And yes, it should be an environment. Children need to know what's expected of them all the time. It shouldn't just be a reminder when they have done something wrong.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      I always found that children who were not disciplined properly in their first five years, before school started, were totally undisciplined for life. Those are called the formative years for a purpose. The things they learn in their formative years are the things they will expand on in later life. Learning that there are consequences for misbehavior is one of the most important things they can learn.

    • rutheddavid profile image

      Ruth Serrano 6 years ago from Philippines

      wow thanks a lot kerlyn..


    • kerlynb profile image

      kerlynb 6 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

      "Clear your minds off from work pressure or other pressures when dealing with your child/children" - An excellent tip and a very tough one to follow, too. I guess parents just need to stop making the house an extension of the workplace and vice versa. If parents are working from home, then it is best to keep a small home office from where to work and not to be disturbed. It also pays to practice self-control. Voted this hub up and useful!

    • profile image

      rutheddavid 6 years ago

      thanks a lot for the comment HennieN.

      ... and thanks for welcoming me to the group.

      Glad to hear from you :)

    • HennieN profile image

      HennieN 6 years ago from South Africa

      Brilliant hub. I agree one 100% - we should not use excuses from theh world when parenting children.

      Children are the future. The examples we set today becomes the behaviour of the future.

      Welcome to the HB community. Looking forward to read your future hubs.