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How to raise your daughter
Around the world today it is somewhat difficult as they say, for a man to know "exactly" how to raise a daughter. I am a young father myself however; I do have a few ideas & examples that allow me to suggest such methods to raising daughters from a father's perspective. To all those fathers out there who decide to so to speak "baby" your daughter, I believe is the wrong thing to do. Merely so that she doesn't feel that she is "powerless" or unable to do anything on her own. However, do not mistake that statement to be one-sided. I absolutely believe that she needs that "TLC". Depending on the situation there is a time & a place for it. Sometimes we need to do so but I do not feel that is necessary all of the time. I treat my daughters like the Princesses they are! There is a time & a place to dout around your little princess. I reluctantly admit, for some reason, that I treat them like Princesses. Ever since they were born & forever they are "my" Princesses. For that reason I do not know, I do know that I want the relationship that I currently have with each of my daughters to last as long as it possibly could...FOREVER! I do know that that is potentially not true as I am the brother of two sisters & there were times through our childhood that "Daddy" wasn't always "cool". I know my little girls look up to me. This bears a different responsibility that we all may not even be aware of. As fathers it is our responsibility nay our right to display & in fact lay the foundation for the future treatment of our daughters. A wise man once told me that you make sure your little girls know that no matter what anyone says, they know that they should always be respected & that you love them no matter what! Your daughters must also know that their Father will ALWAYS have their back regardless of the situation, circumstance, or problem. I speak with my daughters’ one on one at least once a month in our "Daddy-Daughter" time. I ask them how school is going, how they like school, how they feel their doing in school, and so forth. Before we end our "talk" I always look them in the eye & tell them that I love them & no matter what they do I will always be there for them. I make sure that they truly do understand that & know that to be true. Those words are always said to each of them so that they always remember them. Being a typical red-blooded American that I am, I enjoy many sports. With that fondness, excitement, & camaraderie I share this with my daughters as well. They will watch a baseball & football game with me & would sometimes get mad when the commercials came on due to the fact that they thought someone changed the channel on them. Now that they are older they understand that the commercial is needed in order to watch such sporting events. However, they will still ask sometimes "you didn't change the channel right? Cause I still wanna watch it..." that to me is funny & I must say it makes me happy that they share that love for sports as both their parents do. Just recently, they ended their first "sports" season. They were fortunate to be on the same team despite the two year difference. They had a blast playing T-Ball. Very competitive too (I wonder where they get that from?!) they always wanted to do better than the last time they were out there. They always wanted to practice, which makes it easier for them to participate in sports. I always made sure that we had time for them to hit or even field no matter where we were. My Dad did that for me & I really appreciated that. We, well "I" got into a little bit of trouble because since it was dark outside I held our practice indoors. I moved the couches out of the living room, rolled up the rug so both girls & I could practice & take ground balls. When "Mom" found out about that she wasn't too happy to say the least, until one of our girls stated that she would have done the same. My wife sighed & smiled then seemed to wish that she could join us but wouldn't due to the fact that she had put her foot down & would stand by that even if she wished she took it back. I also would like to state that in my opinion I do not think that any kind of sports should be enforced not just on our daughters but "children" in general. We as parents may have or may not have had our chance at sports but it is not our dreams that they need to live, they will have their own dreams. It is our privilege to encourage those dreams. I simply introduced the game to them & if they want to pursue it then I support that & will help them anyway that I can, It also helps with raising daughters that their Mother is a former Collegiate Athlete, you know how girls tend to look up to their Mother as well. But that doesn’t mean that this is a requirement. Of course not, it helps, but it is definitely not required. They can look to both parents for support & guidance.
There are three things that I believe will help in this difficult process to raise your daughter. They are Love, Support, & Example. Love goes without saying. This is your daughter, your child; you need to love her completely. By completely I believe that you need to treat her with the assumption that she doesn't know that you love her so that you are constantly doing everything that you need to do to let her know that you are there for her & will always love her no matter what she does or says. Nearly every night my daughters will ask me to sing to them & I do. Even if I am not feeling up to it I will simply because I am not immune to their beautiful brown eyes They will even grab my ukulele & say "Here Daddy, we brushed our teeth & said prayer, will you sing to us?..." How can I say "No" to that? Even if there is something that I need to get done I do not mind the extra time spent awake before bed to be able to sing to them. No matter what for the last few years or so they have had only two requests. Now they have stated that they would like me to learn a few more songs on the uke & they have even provided some of those selections. Support her in ALL that she does. That also includes an occasional "princess party" or "dress up" as well. It is nearly mandatory, trust me. When she feels that she is "old enough" to make her own decisions on her attire for the day, support her in that decision, no matter what the skirt, shirt, leggings look like. Support her in her schooling. She must know she is doing well & if she isn't it is your job to help her get there. Lastly but just as important, Example. The famous quote "Lead by example". Are only three words but very strong words indeed. Treat her mother especially her mother with absolute respect so she sees that & knows that is how "Men" are supposed to treat "Women". Treat all women with that respect that you owe your own mother for she did bring you into this world. Whether or not she deserves it she at least deserves your respect for birthing you right. Although, at times it may be difficult, it needs to be done & you can have that discipline to do so. I was raised with that mentality to "Treat a girl how you want your Mom & your sisters to be treated". Before I was married I used my father’s philosophy & at one time it shocked one of my date's mothers & she stated to me that she wished her husband would do such things that to me were just considered the normal thing to do. I always open the door for my wife no matter where we go & I open the door for my little girls too. I want them to be properly treated. I want them to feel special. As if that door handle shouldn't be touched by any female. I know we are in a time where women want to be "independent". Ladies you can still have your independence we just would like to open the door for you.
These last three things are just a few principles that we all as fathers can understand & I think that it is very easy to follow as well. I have only been raising daughters for a short time, just under a decade now. But, I feel that it’s working due to the fact that no matter where we are they are always excited to see me & know that I love them. We have our own "handshake" that they came up with & each has their own too. These are just a few things that I have either learned from others or have kind of figured out on my own. I hope that I have provided a little assistance with the raising of your daughter. We all can learn from each other. I am no different, I constantly am learning, but not only must we learn we also need to apply what we have learned.
I love my daughters & I will continue to remind them by telling them daily. I am grateful for my children & am thankful when they will come up to me & remind me "I Love You Daddy". Those four words will never ever become old.