- Family and Parenting
How to settle a family dispute?
Indeed blood is thicker than water.Family members are meant to be there for each other in highs and lows. There come a time when family siblings are not seeing eye to eye.It is part of life for confrontations and teasing of each other to happen among kith and kin. Make no mistake it some times happen that family members are up in arms, its part of humanity. As God's finest creation of highest order, humans have their good days and bad days - even machines have their good and bad days too. When family members are embroiled in a dispute , there is need to bring harmony to the warring family members.
Suppose one is called to bring peace among two feuding siblings, there is need to maintain a cool head and an open mind when bringing peace to two blood relatives. how can one bring everlasting peace to two squabbling and feuding relatives? The best approach is to reach out to the feuding members of the family and arrange to meet them at a neutral venue. A neutral venue is ideal because no-one would be familiar with the environment and as a result no-one would take advantage of the venue.
A well known venue to a particular individual tends to give that individual advantage over others - the reason being, that individual would be in his or her comfort zone. Psychologically he/she is in a better position to stamp authority than those who are at the venue for the first time, they need to adapt to the environment first. Hence a neutral venue with no strings attached to any of the warring family members is recommended. Before the meeting commences tell them both, that you love them and you are only there to find a common ground of making them see eye to eye, as a result you won't take sides. Assuring them of your role would enable them to listen to you and accept you as a non aligned problem solver.
Explain why it is important for the feuding relatives to bury the hatchet and remain a close knit family - tell them point blank that they are blood brothers and they should remain so for the good of the family, they need each other in thick and thin. Reiterate to them that blood is thicker than water they have to extend an olive branch to one another, in order to keep that family bond intact for the future generations of the family line. Tell them that it would be a sad scenario where their children would grow up to hate each other because of their parents' unresolved squabbles.
Explain why the need each other and why good relationship of siblings is important? Find the source of the problem. Is it a monetary problem? Hear both sides of the story whilst you listen attentively. Be a good listener, don't interfere when the siblings are giving their side of the story. Try to control the temper of the siblings. Be cool headed, involve the siblings in finding a solution. Make them see that their relationship as siblings come second to none. They are two peas in a pod, they need each other.
If the siblings fail to extend an olive branch to each other.Find a common ground,go to the core of the problem and find out how it may have started and how to chat the way forward. As a peace maker have your solution to the problem handy.Tell the siblings your solution to the problem. Use persuasion and dialogue to reach a deal. Emphasise the importance of being a united family.If one of the siblings was to blame let that sibling swallow his/her pride and apologise to the other sibling. It pays to say sorry. If the problem is about money let the other sibling find ways of paying back the money.
If a solution is not reached that day arrange to meet another day.If a solution is found you are all winners become a family again and if you end the meeting with hugs and sobs of joy, so be it. Likewise you might arrange a get together party to gauge whether the once feuding parties had extended an olive branch to each other and they can now dine and wine together without retribution.