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How to take care of your physically challenged child?
‘Obviously, because of my disability, I need assistance. But I have always tried to overcome the limitations of my condition and lead as full a life as possible. I have traveled the world, from the Antarctic to zero gravity.’ –Stephan Hawking
Children are the anchor of your life and you are very emotionally inclined towards them. But it is a nerve wracking experience when your child is physically challenged and you cannot accept the fact easily. You feel emotionally drained and at loss! You are also terrified about the future of your child. ‘Who will look after him\her when I am not there’ you agonizingly ask yourself many a time.
But you cannot sit back in agony as now is the time for courage and strength. Your initial problem is to make your child realize that he\she is not a lesser person to anyone. You should not talk negatively to the child as it instills in him\her a feeling of incapability. He\she should be made to realize that everyone has some talent and it is those who realize it make it big in life.
Do you know many renouned persons had some physical disabilities!
Ludwig van Beethoven had hearing impairment
Stephan hawking has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
Helen Adam Keller- the adversity of being blind and deaf
John Milton –blind
These people were famous in their field and their mental ability was never cramped by their physical disability. Your child too is very capable and you should tap his individuality. I was very impressed by a reality TV show in Tamilnadu India where physically challenged people dance, sing, play musical instruments with such talent that they cannot be called lesser than anyone. I could only salute the parents who had brought forth such hidden talents of their child.
You should inculcate self confidence in your child as this helps him survive this harsh world. There are institutions that cater to different types of handicaps and your child can join in an intuition which caters to his\her particular physical handicap.
Do not talk negatively before your child and curse the fate that made him\her handicapped. If you do so, your child grows up feeling that he is not normal and lacks something which others have got. You should allow him to mingle with other children which make him feel included in the society.
Appreciate whatever small success he\she achieves to make him\her feel worthy. You should consult a specialist for advice to look after your child. There might be exercises, mental games or even counseling which helps him\her a long way.
There must be a community of parents of like wise challenged children and when you interact with them you get lots of new ideas of how to deal with such a disability. It also makes you feel psychologically better when you know that you are not a lone sufferer.
You should always encourage your child and there should be no partiality in your behavior to your other normal children. Your partiality makes your physically challenged child feel depressed and miserable. The feeling that you are always there to support him\her makes your child feel very sheltered and secure.
Always include the child when you are doing some family preparations. If you exclude him\her citing his inability it makes him\her become a loner who does not want to face the outside world- a very dangerous incapacity than his\her physical inability.
You must train him\her to do his\her personal needs so that he\she does not depend on you for his\her day to day ablutions. You should teach him\her the essence of life and make him\her capable of facing it with courage.
Your child might need devices which can help him handle life better. You should consult a specialist and buy him\her the best gadget available. Do not make him feel handicapped by hovering over him\her in parental worry as it makes him\her resent it.
He\she should be handled with great care. You should not make him\her feel wanting of your love by behaving partially with your normal children and ignoring your handicapped child. You should not also be too protective which makes him\her feel that something is wrong with him\her. The need of the hour is your inner stability to make your child realize his\her worth.
© 2014 mathira