ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Things Our Daddy's Said

Updated on September 28, 2018
lambservant profile image

Lori's two great passions are God and family. She has a lifetime of joys and heartaches of family living she is willing to share.


I think the things Dad's say to their children are pretty universal. The same with mamas. I've already covered Mama. Now it's time for Daddy. Did your daddy say any of these?

Daddy's a Cheapskate

  • Do you think I own the electric company? Turn off the lights (close the door).
  • Do you think I own the phone company? Get off the phone.
  • Close the door, were you born in a barn?
  • Do you think money grows on trees?
  • I just bought that, do you think I have money laying around to replace it?
  • That's coming out of your allowance.
  • What do you mean you want a raise in your allowance?
  • If you want a new bike save up your allowance.
  • A penny saved is a penny earned.
  • When I was a boy I never spent my allowance, I saved it.
  • When I was a boy I didn't bother my parents for things, I saved my allowance.
  • When I was a boy I had to make my own.
  • When I was a boy I took the bus.
  • When I was a boy I worked for things.
  • When I was a boy we never threw anything out.
  • I work hard for my money.
  • Do you know how much it costs to feed and clothe you?
  • It's too expensive.
  • I don't make that kind of money.
  • You expect me to pay for that?
  • Why don't I buy you one at a second-hand store?
  • A dime's a dime.
  • You think you have it so bad? I paid rent and utilities and food when I was a boy.

Some dad's have such archaic ways of thinking.
Some dad's have such archaic ways of thinking.

Daddy's Scoldings

  • Don't make me come in there.
  • Why the hell did you do that?
  • I thought I told you not to do that.
  • Don't you lie to me, I know where you live.
  • I brought you into this world and I can take you out.
  • Don't do as I do, do as I say.
  • Next one that blinks is going to get smacked.
  • Do what your mother tells you.
  • Go ask your mother.
  • You tell your mother I said for her to handle it.
  • Don't do that, you know what your mother will say.
  • I'll give you something to cry about.
  • Try it and see what happens.
  • Don't even think about it.
  • You don't think I'm serious?
  • Don't laugh, I'm dead serious.
  • I'm as serious as a heart attack.
  • I pay the bills, feed and clothe you, and put a roof over your head, so I make the rules.
  • How would you like it if I did that to you?
  • Do you think your brother likes that? Tell him you don't like that Robbie.
  • If you don't get over here I'll...
  • I told you to be quiet. Now tell me what happened.
  • What? Did you leave your brains at the door?
  • I told you that would happen, didn't I?
  • Go out and cut me a switch.
  • This going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me.
  • You don't know what pain is.
  • Your mother and I are very disappointed in you.
  • You've upset your mother.
  • Do you think I'm stupid?
  • I didn't just fall off the turnip truck you know.
  • You honestly expect me to believe that?
  • I'm going to give you to the count of one.
  • You don't want to do the dishes? Okay, how about you scrub the toilet with a toothbrush. I thought so.
  • You're grounded for a year young lady.
  • Oh, sorry I care about where you are going so I know you're safe. I must have lost my mind.
  • Doing your chores builds character.
  • Call me if you're going to be late.
  • You're one minute late. Why didn't you call?
  • You're one minute late. You can forget about going out with him again.
  • You're one minute late. You're grounded for a month.
  • That's no excuse.
  • You have to take your sister with you.
  • Mom or I will drive you to the (fill in the blank). We want to make sure you're safe.
  • You will do it and you will like it.
  • Quit yer whining.
  • One day you're going to have kids. I hope they act just like you.

The Huxtables

Theo: Dad, all those stories we've come to find out are not true.

Cliff: What? What? Who said? From who?

Theo, Denise, Vanessa, Rudy: Grandpa!

Cliff: You're going to believe a man that age?

Embarrassing Things Daddy said

Passing gas

  • Pull my finger.
  • I didn't do that.
  • That wasn't me it was your mother.
  • Who stepped on a frog?
  • Beans, beans, musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot. The more you toot the better you feel. So let's have beens for every meal.
  • Whewy! I wasn't expecting that.
  • Did you hear something?
  • I didn't hear anything?
  • Do you smell something?
  • I don't smell anything.
  • Oh, here comes another one.
  • Mama, don't gimme no more beans.
  • Uh oh, that just kinda slipped out.


  • Raaalllph!
  • Hand me a towel will you?
  • Ah, that was a good meal, hon.
  • Gimme another beer kid.
  • I can't help it if you're a good cook.
  • That just kind of flew out.
  • Excuse me.
  • Excuse you.
  • Ah, that's as good as it gets.

Clothing styles

  • What do you mean Daddy can't wear black socks with his sandals?
  • What do you mean Daddy can't wear white socks with black pants (shoes)?
  • What's wrong with this hat? It's my lucky fishing hat.
  • What do you mean they don't match?
  • I think it looks good on me. Mother, don't you think this looks good on me?
  • I'll just throw my suit coat over it and no one will see the stain.
  • Don't laugh, this is my lucky shirt.
  • Kids, did your mother throw away my lucky shirt (hat)?
  • What's wrong with white pants (shoes)? What? I like Pat Boone. He's a good Christian man.

When Daddy was a kid he...

  • When I was a kid I walked ten miles to school in ten feet of snow going uphill and got there in time to hear the school bell.
  • When I was a kid my daddy taught me to treat girls with respect.
  • When I was a kid my daddy taught me how to fight.
  • When I was a kid my daddy beat me bloody for doing that.
  • When I was a kid my mama whooped me but good for doing that.
  • When I was a kid I loved calves brains. Why can't you like it?
  • When I was a kid I... (did all kinds of dastardly things), and when I did it, it was funny, but don't you ever do it or I'll whoop you good.
  • When I was a kid I respected my mother.
  • When I was a kid I respected my daddy even though...

Ward Cleaver Exagerates

Wally Cleaver: "Yeah, every year the distance gets longer and the snow gets deeper."

Daddy's Dress Code for His Daughter

  • You are not going out in that young lady.
  • That's not a bathing suit, it's three little postage stamps.
  • Eve wore more than that in the garden of Eden.
  • One piece bathing suit only.
  • Your cleavage is hanging out all over.
  • Go put on something decent.
  • I said decent. That's not decent.
  • You're too young to wear panty hose.
  • You are not going walk around looking like a floozy.
  • What will the neighbors think of me if you go out dressed like that?
  • I said below the knees, not up to your ying yang.
  • What's wrong with knee socks. You're only 14.
  • Nice girls your age don't wear (fill in the blank).
  • Your mother never dressed like that.
  • What do you mean you're wearing Mom's skirt? Honey, throw that thing out. You shouldn't be wearing that.
  • 14 is too young to shave your legs and wear nylons.
  • I don't care what your friends are wearing.
  • I may be an old fuddy duddy, but you're still not going out in that.
  • Boys don't respect girls who wear that.
  • If you go out in that the boys will think you're easy.

"Eve wore more than that in the garden of Eden."
"Eve wore more than that in the garden of Eden." | Source

Tongue in cheek comments from our dad

  • Brains? When God handed out brains you thought He said trains and you already had one.
  • I'll be Frank with you Earnest.
  • Dad: "Chris (my sister), you're a card." Chris: "I don't go in a box." I never understood this stupid little joke between them but they did it all the time.
  • Eat it (or drink it) it'll put hair on your chest like Mom's.
  • Eat it (or drink it) and you'll grow a full head of hair like mine (he was bald on top).

"Rock 'n roll is evil and the Beatles are filthy hippies."
"Rock 'n roll is evil and the Beatles are filthy hippies."

Daddy's Thoughts and Rules About Entertainment and Dating

  • Rock and roll is evil.
  • Rock and roll is for degenerates.
  • The Beatles are filthy hippies
  • If you don't turn down that music your records (tapes, CD's) are going in the trash.
  • What's wrong with classical music?
  • Remember, when you're at the prom, don't dance too close. Boys are out to take your innocence.
  • G movies only.
  • Animated films only.
  • PG stands for perverted gangsters.
  • R-rated is porn. Your not going to see it.
  • If they ask you to play spin the bottle, call me to come get you.
  • You are too young for parties.
  • Let me call the parents and see if there are chaperones.
  • Your mother and I have volunteered to be prom chaperones.
  • I don't see what's wrong with your mother and I being chaperones.
  • If you want to have a party here, mother and I will be in the room at all times.
  • Girls shouldn't call boys.
  • Girls that call boys are loose.
  • He'll have to meet me if he wants to take you out.
  • There's nothing wrong with having a man to man before he takes you out.
  • His hair is too long.
  • You are not dating a guy with an earring.
  • He has to come to the door if he wants to take you out.
  • What kind of grades does he get? A boy who makes bad grades is a loser.
  • That girl's father is a lush. You can't hang out with her.
  • She or he is a bad influence on you.
  • If they told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
  • I don't care what Mary's parents let her do.
  • 7:30 curfew is perfectly reasonable.
  • A boy who tries to hold your hand on the first date is too forward.

© 2012 Lori Colbo


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)