I AM SO TIRED OF ROUTINES
MY ROUTINES ARE TAKING OVER MY LIFE!
I AM SO TIRED OF ROUTINES
My internal clock is permanently set on 6am to wake up, no matter what day of the week it is, I am up at 6am; Help!
With a growing family, I am head of the household and put in charge of everything from the early morning starts to the late night finishes. Every day has been about the same things, minus a thing or two since the day my first child was born.
It starts with getting up at 6am preparing breakfast for the kids, making lunches and then getting the kids out of bed, eat and ready for school. There is always one child that can’t find something that he/she thinks is important to take to school today so I start searching; then get the kids off to school, head home to clean up, before going off to work.
Then I have to put a whole day in at work and that routine is usually the same thing day after day before heading out, picking up the kids and heading home. I cook dinner and after eating, I have to supervise the finishing of the homework before heading one child or another off to one thing or the other.
Once we have returned home then it is time for bath and bed for all except me, who has to clean up the house and get things set and ready for the next day. There are a few things that I would like to get done for myself but in doing so it has kept me up to about midnight. Then it is off to bed for me, boy am I tired.
Day after day, week after week it seems to be the same routine followed over and over again, me up at 6am and getting to bed about midnight. Saturday and Sunday seems to be more of the same thing except it seems that my day of work has been replaced by an all day event for the children.
It has been 23 years since I got on this treadmill of routines and I would like to get off. It seems that even though my children have grown up, clearly old enough to do some things on their own, my 6am internal alarm clock won’t shut off.
It also seems that apparently since I have made it a habit to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner that I cannot seem to break this habit. Even though driving my children to their various sporting events became more of a duty, I now don’t want to miss a single event. In fact I am saddened if I am not in the stands cheering them on.
I am so tired of routines but it seems that I cannot function without it, in fact it feels like my body requires it to go on, how ironic.
It seems that the hamster wheel that I have created in my life more than 23 years ago has somehow become the cornerstone holding me up in my life. It is why I wake up in the mornings, it is what gets me through the day and when I fall asleep at night it comforts me.
However I seriously would like to sleep past 6am and go to bed at about 9pm more than just on the rare occasions. I wonder sometimes, if once you have turned on an internal clock can it ever be turned off?
I am not complaining, I love my life and I love my children dearly, I have learned much and loved watching them grow but is the routine ever really over? Is there a time that it ends and if it does, what happens to me?