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Want to Have a Better Relationship With Your Mother-in-Law?

Updated on March 8, 2018

I know, i know, mother-in-laws can be a real pain in the you know what. Sometimes they have just cause and then there are times when they just do it because they can. This can be really hard to deal with and it could also put a strain on your relationship.

One thing that you have to realize is that when a mother gives birth to her child, from the moment he/she is welcomed into the world, the mother makes a vow within herself. Where she says that her baby will only have the best. That's all it is, she just wants the best for her child, and she will continue to want this forever.

So in walks you into her son's life, and at first glance you are not the woman whom she wants for her child. Sometimes, first impressions and never judge a book a book by it's cover, does not apply to mother-in-laws. On first sight they immediately judge you as being that person who is taking their little child away from them.

It's crazy, I know but you will have to work hard at proving to her that you are indeed right for her child. I know that you may think at this point, why should you have to prove anything to your mother-in-law. If your spouse is really close to their mother, then this is a very important measure to take.

Bottom line you have to really put yourself in her shoes and you can't do this unless, you have a child yourself. Maybe then you could understand how important your child is to you and how important it is to know who he/she comes in contact with.

Some mothers does not strive to become the best mother-in-law, but being a bitch to you does seem to be the ultimate goal

Get To The Root Of The Problem

Find out why she doesn't like you and try to fix it. Ask your spouse to find out what it is that your mother-in-law just can't stand about you. Hopefully it's something that can be worked on. If it's your past then that can take a lot of proving that you're not that person anymore. It could just be something stupid like the length of your hair or the way you dress. Which means Mom is just being petty and she just needs to get to know you better. It's important to find the problem, address it and work on building a relationship.

Beware Of The Invasive Mother In Law

The invasive mother in law is the worst. She always around and stinking her nose into all of your business. She's practically moved into your home and refuses to leave. Everywhere you all go she has to tag along too. This type of mother in law can be a real problem for your relationship. Because if you and your partner have an argument, mom is right there sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong causing more problems. Your partner would have to let their mom know the boundaries and set some rules. This kind of mother in law can make you feel like you're all alone in your relationship, because she's always around soaking up all of your significant other's time. This can be a hard but to crack and for the sake of your relationship it sometimes best to leave this one alone. If she's around like that, it's because her child wants her to be. Either stay and deal with it or just leave it alone.

How To Get Along With Your Mother In Law

Getting along with someone you know does not like you can be a real drag. Sometimes you have to what's needed to coexist. Your partner cannot have the two people they love the most hating each other.

Find out what interest your mother in law has, whether it's going to the casino, playing tennis, shopping or cooking. Whatever it is, offer to join in on her interests and a nice gift that fits that interest will really make her feel that you are really trying to get to know her and you care about building a relationship with her as well.

Talking works too. When she calls to chat with her son/daughter send her a nice hello from the background. This will let her know that you are caring enough to say hello even though she's not on the phone with you. Mom's love that. When she calls answer the phone yourself and have a quick chat with her before handing the phone over to your partner. You'll be surprised how much that can really start a wonderful relationship with your mother in law. They love to be acknowledged as the most important person of their child's life.

If you are truly a good person and you have tried to do everything to please your Mother In Law and she still can't stand you, then maybe it is time to just let it go. As long as the person you love and your relationship are not affected by it. You should just cut your losses and only deal with her only when you have to. Especially if a child is involved.

Don't Leave Her Out In The Dark

Mothers hate not knowing what's going on with their child. Include her in on big decisions, like if the two of you are planning to move, job changes and big purchases. Mothers love to give advice and knowing that you care enough to include her in on some of your decision making will make her feel special and not like an outsider.

Keep Your Relationship Problems To Yourself

It's important not to share little relationship spats with your mother in law. If her child comes and tell her somthing you did wrong, like not taking out the trash. This can blow up in to something huge and cause her to be angry with you for not protecting her child from the trash monster. Seriously, and if she's constantly getting stories like these about you, even though they are small issues can cause her not to like you. Be mindful of what shared about your relationship.


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    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      6 years ago from Lagos

      This hub is so useful and informative. Bless you

    • tarkishat profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      @Julie2, thanks for stopping by, and we have all been there. @Creativeone, thanks for that added advice and you are absolutely right. @B.Matter, thanks a lot for the compliment.

    • B. Matter profile image

      B. Matter 

      7 years ago from The Midwest

      Great hub. Good read for mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law

    • creativeone59 profile image

      benny Faye Douglass 

      7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you for such and informative hub on mother-laws, I can understand and my advice to anyone that have that kind of mother-inlaw is to continue to be your self,but pray for God to open her eyes to the fact that you truly love her son and want the best for him as well. Thank you for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • Julie2 profile image


      7 years ago from New York City

      Amen to that! I can so relate to mother in law nightmares...


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